MIL's Will - Odd Situation

Okay, firstly, We don't know for certain that the message was from SIL as the FB account isn't accessible to anyone. No photos/friends/other details. We have no evidence that MIL has even died as her Will isn't on the government probate link given earlier. It maybe that probate isn't necessary or that it isn't showing yet.

However, assuming that the message is genuine and is actually from the SIL:

The SIL has requested electronic copies via Facebook, so there is not an address to send any documents to. The problem is that SIL doesn't know for certain that the person she has messaged is, in fact, the beneficiary of the bequest. Presumably that is why she has requested passport/birth certificate.

My daughter has anxiety and other MH issues, which is why she doesn't want SIL having her address. Apart from the fact that SIL is not a nice person. Her message to my daughter was curt, very curt, and she knew that my daughter would have the task of telling DH that his mother had died. Which is pretty much her style. She would not have got in touch to say that her mother had died unless she HAD to. We were not expecting to ever know that MIL had died.

DH and I are of the opinion that she should accept the money as it will help her greatly through university but also feel that it is my daughter's decision to make.

SIL does not have our address as we have moved twice since she last spoke to us. My mum is happy for any documents to be sent to her address so that's one issue resolved but I am not convinced that my daughter should send documents electronically, based on one FB message. Perhaps she should message the person we are presuming is the SIL and ask her to send a copy of the Will etc to my mum's address before sending any documents to her?

As for sharing the bequest, knowing her siblings as I do, they would not want it anyway. My daughter just feels bad about it as her grandmother made no secret of the fact that she favoured my daughter (which I have explained to her, was not her fault but her grandmother's. Just as it was her grandmother's decision to completely cut us off when FIL died).

Aunt was not blocked by my daughter as she did not think that aunt would ever get in touch, having ignored us all for the last 15 years.

I know that this all seems to be a storm in a teacup. We have never tried to influence the children about their father's side of the family, just as we have never tried to influence them about religion or subject choices at college. But I have to think about my daughter's fragile mental health and how to support her as best I can.

Flugelhorn wrote: »

How about - sending a message to SIL via Facebook asking that a copy of the death cert and a letter identifying the required info is sent to DD at othergranny's address?

If it is all a spoof / scam then that won;t happen - if SIL is doing her job properly then all will happen - suspect SIL has been very stuck not knowing how to contact you and has done well in tracking you down.

Definitely worth getting the money and sharing with sibs - if you don't help her now, then in the future she may resent it if she is short of cash.

This, I think, is what we are going to suggest to DD. We think that she should get the money as she will, undoubtedly need it whilst a student. Her siblings won't care or be resentful as they knew what their grandmother was like as she made no secret of the fact that my DD1 was the favoured child. Thank goodness my lovely FIL saw what was happening and was totally inclusive with his love for them.