New Post Advanced Search
Important update! We have recently reviewed and updated our Forum Rules and FAQs. Please take the time to familiarise yourself with the latest version.

MIL's Will - Odd Situation

edited 30 November -1 at 12:00AM in Deaths, Funerals & Probate
20 replies 2.4K views
olgadapolgaolgadapolga Forumite
1.3K posts
Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Xmas Saver!
✭✭✭
edited 30 November -1 at 12:00AM in Deaths, Funerals & Probate
The executor of my MIL's estate (my SIL) has sent a Facebook message to my adult daughter, stating that she is a beneficiary in my MIL's will.

My MIL cut us off years ago, just after my FIL died. MIL has made no attempt to contact us at any time, despite my DH trying to keep in contact with her. Eventually DH gave up as it became apparent that MIL did not wish to keep in touch with us, or to see us (she went out when DH and the children were due to visit - if that isn't a message in itself, then I don't know what is).

My SIL has not been in contact with us for at least 15 years - she also cut us off over a misunderstanding.

To get to the point, my SIL has stated that my daughter has been left an amount of money, to be received when my daughter is eighteen. My daughter is nearly twenty, and my SIL knows this. SIL has asked for a copy of her passport/driving licence/birth certificate as proof of age, and her current address, as well as bank details.

My daughter is reluctant to accept the money as she hasn't seen/heard from her grandmother in years and she also feels that her siblings may have been left out (again - her grandmother made it very obvious, when the children saw her, that my daughter was her favourite and used to blank the other children completely - luckily my lovely FIL ensured that they were not ignored). I don't think that my other children are bothered about it at all, but my daughter has concerns about it.

My daughter is about to go to university and could, no doubt use the money.

We are not trying to influence my daughter in any way whatsoever. It's completely her choice whether or not to accept the bequest.

If my daughter decides not to accept the money, what should she do to ensure that her aunt does not try to contact her again?

Alternatively, if my daughter does decide to accept the money, is there any way in which this can be done without the need for my SIL to have any of her information? My daughter does not want her aunt to know her address or any of her information.
«1

Replies

  • DoxDox Forumite
    3.1K posts
    1,000 Posts Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    ✭✭✭✭
    If my daughter decides not to accept the money, what should she do to ensure that her aunt does not try to contact her again? Write to her aunt and say that she rejects the bequest and ask her not to make further contact.

    Alternatively, if my daughter does decide to accept the money, is there any way in which this can be done without the need for my SIL to have any of her information? My daughter does not want her aunt to know her address or any of her information. No executor is going to pay out without being sure they have the correct recipient. If your daughter really wants to make such a meal of all this, she could do it via a solicitor.

    Please see above. Seems to be an awful lot of fuss about nothing!
  • olgadapolgaolgadapolga Forumite
    1.3K posts
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Xmas Saver!
    ✭✭✭
    Dox wrote: »
    Please see above. Seems to be an awful lot of fuss about nothing!

    That's as may be but there are reasons for not wanting the aunt to know anything about my daughter (which is entirely my daughter's choice).

    My daughter can't "write to the aunt" as she don't have an address for her (and doesn't want an address for her, in fact my daughter wants nothing to do with her aunt or that side of the family).

    I will advise my daughter to contact a solicitor.
  • ValliValli Forumite
    22.7K posts
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    ✭✭✭✭✭
    Surely the Aunt (executor) provided an address for the proof to be sent?

    Given your daughter would have to pay a solicitor is might be advisable to check the value of the legacy first? This would be a lot of fuss it the legacy was only, say, £100.
    Don't put it DOWN; put it AWAY
    "I would like more sisters, that the taking out of one, might not leave such stillness" Emily Dickinson
    :heart:Janice 1964-2016:heart:

    Thank you Honey Bear
  • badger09badger09 Forumite
    9K posts
    Tenth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    ✭✭✭✭
    How do you know the Facebook message is genuinely from your SIL?

    This has the hallmarks of a classic phishing scam. Just think what someone could do with all that personal information.

    If the will has gone through Probate, you can obtain a copy for £10. You would then know if this true, and what the amount is.
  • DoxDox Forumite
    3.1K posts
    1,000 Posts Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    ✭✭✭✭
    That's as may be but there are reasons for not wanting the aunt to know anything about my daughter (which is entirely my daughter's choice).

    My daughter can't "write to the aunt" as she don't have an address for her (and doesn't want an address for her, in fact my daughter wants nothing to do with her aunt or that side of the family).

    I will advise my daughter to contact a solicitor.

    Sounds a bit of a teen drama queen! Get a copy of the will for a tenner https://www.gov.uk/wills-probate-inheritance/searching-for-probate-records and that may well have an address for the aunt as she is executor (otherwise send a message via Facebook). She can also check that she genuinely is a beneficiary and if so, for how much.
  • Important update! We have recently reviewed and updated our Forum Rules and FAQs. Please take the time to familiarise yourself with the latest version.
  • MojisolaMojisola Forumite
    33.8K posts
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    ✭✭✭✭✭
    The executor of my MIL's estate (my SIL) has sent a Facebook message to my adult daughter, stating that she is a beneficiary in my MIL's will.

    My daughter is reluctant to accept the money as she hasn't seen/heard from her grandmother in years and she also feels that her siblings may have been left out

    She can find out what the amount is and, if she decides to accept it, can share it between her siblings so they all benefit.
  • edited 14 August 2019 at 2:01PM
    MEM62MEM62 Forumite
    3.3K posts
    Seventh Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    ✭✭✭✭
    edited 14 August 2019 at 2:01PM
    Tell your daughter not to be so silly and accept the money she has been bequeathed. As the executor, your SIL has to request her details in order to make settlement and I cannot see why there should be any concern over her having this information. (Are you expecting her to do something untoward with it? Of course not!)

    Your daughter can use this money to help her through Uni and would regret not taking it if she was living on pot noodles and porridge when money gets tight. OK, maybe I am exaggerating there but you get my point.

    In respect of her siblings loosing out - firstly, she has no control over that as the will reflected her grandmother's wishes. If does not take the money they will be not better off. And secondly, she can always share some of her inheritance with them if she feels that is the right thing to do.
    I will advise my daughter to contact a solicitor.

    Why? Again, this is just being silly.

    You are allowing what appears to be an old family feud disadvantage your daughter. Phrases involving noses removed from faces come to mind.
  • pollypennypollypenny Forumite
    29K posts
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    ✭✭✭✭✭
    badger09 wrote: »
    How do you know the Facebook message is genuinely from your SIL?

    This has the hallmarks of a classic phishing scam. Just think what someone could do with all that personal information.

    If the will has gone through Probate, you can obtain a copy for £10. You would then know if this true, and what the amount is.



    Agree. Contact her via a solicitor. Certainly do not send documents which can be used for identity theft.
    Member #14 of SKI-ers club

    Words, words, they're all we have to go by!.

    (Pity they are mangled by this autocorrect!)
  • xylophonexylophone Forumite
    36.2K posts
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    ✭✭✭✭✭
    First obtain a copy of the will.

    Your SIL could easily obtain a copy of your daughter's birth certificate were she so minded.

    As executor, your SIL has to be sure that she has paid the money to the correct beneficiary, to obtain a receipt for the bequest and to produce estate accounts.

    Your daughter could accept the gift and donate it to her favourite charity if she does not want it.
  • TBagpussTBagpuss Forumite
    8.4K posts
    Tenth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    ✭✭✭✭
    I would suggest that your daughter respond to the executor, and ask her to confirm the nature and amount of the bequest, and to provide a postal address to which the poofs of ID etc can be sent.

    If she doesn't want to do that, she can first apply for a copy of her grandmother's will.

    the request for ID is standard and suggests that SIL is oing her job as executor correctly.

    If your daughter wants, she could wait until Spetamerb when she starts Uni - unless she is going to be living at home, she can then send proof of address relating to her university address, where she is unlikelyto be for more than a year or so, so may give her SIL less info than if she sends her home address with you.

    If she refuses the gift then it would fall back into the estate, and it is likely to be the residuary beneficiaries who will benefit.

    if she accepts it, she can then, if she choses, decide to pass some of it on to her siblings so she feels things are fair.
    All posts are my personal opinion, not formal advice Always get proper, professional advice (particularly about anything legal!)
Sign In or Register to comment.

Quick links

Essential Money | Who & Where are you? | Work & Benefits | Household and travel | Shopping & Freebies | About MSE | The MoneySavers Arms | Covid-19 & Coronavirus Support