Weekly Flylady Thread 5th March 2018

Hi all

Checking in. Boss was awful today. He is having personal problems and he can't leave it at home, he is grumpy, picks fault, checks up on me constantly. Need to develop some broad shoulders and see if it blows over.

Roast done for tea, kitchen cleaned, car hoovered after something got spilt, some work done on job no.2, DS delivered to GFs. Tired now.

Had an awful evening yesterday. J had a text from Z's boyfriend's Mum who said that she had turned up there feeling depressed and finding things difficult at home. J went over at 6.30 to fetch her but to cut a long story short she wouldn't come home - she locked herself in her boyfriend's bathroom and it ended up that the Police had to be called in and brought her home.

What I don't like is this was pre-meditated. R is the youngest of 4 and he has 3 sisters; 1 of which is very opinionated and was actually really rude to J telling him to go away as he wasn't helping. J was really calm about everything and called my SIL who is really close to Z and she spoke on the phone and ended up going to the house; she got Z out and they chatted but then Z blanked her out and locked herself back in the bathroom. She was coming up with phrases like 'I need a safe place' etc which she's never spoken like before - the eldest had taken Z and R (boyfriend) out to MacDs for a hot chocolate and they had been gone a long time and Z said that R's mum had said she could stay there? I don't get this as if it were me I'd say she could go for a chat but she needed to be at home with her parents but maybe it's just me? Apparently when J went to fetch her the whole family complete with BFs were there and J said it was like some awful American show like Jeremy Kyle with everyone watching and commenting. What about leaving J to talk to his daughter in private - they were sat on the stairs watching?

When she got back home the Police told her to go upstairs and they had a chat with us and SIL They said they had no worries about her re safeguarding etc (I nearly cried when they said that but managed not to - as if we would ever do anything to our precious girl). They said she is clearly anxious and we are going to take her to the GP to talk about that - she has had counselling in School before but needs some more help. I told them I suffer from anxiety and know the warning signs. They said the rules are too strict and Z wants some flexibility and not to be treated as if she is 10. That probably refers to us wanting her to go to bed at 9.30, lights out at 10 and not have her phone in her bedroom as she chats to R til the early hours and gets up at 6. We need to compromise and so does she. What really shook me is they said sometimes a child can run away, be returned and it be a pattern and then they find somewhere where there's no rules and really bad stuff can happen .... she's very grown up looking, is beautiful and it breaks my heart to think of anything like that.

So today we're off to the GP and need to talk to School. Me and J hardly slept all night so I've got up now to share this with you guys and to do some paid work as I have reports in to do. Can't believe this has happened but it has. We had a chat after Police went which is when she said the idea came back on Friday. We need to meet on middle ground, J needs to not be so strict. He's hurt by all this; looked close to tears and I just held him. I feel sick.

Sorry for ramble.

((Hugs)) x a million Mumof2. I can too easily imagine what you are going through. My DD is the same age as your's. X

Oh Mumof2, what an awful situation. Virtual hugs being sent your way. I really hope you can get things sorted. No advice to offer, I'm afraid, just a listening ear. Stay strong xxx