I want to stop drowning

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  • littlemissbudgetqueen
    littlemissbudgetqueen Posts: 36 Forumite
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    Hi - Just wanted to say I have read through your diary from the start. I will subscribe to your journey :)
    Credit Cards owed Jan 2019: £10,300, Argos Card: £110, Savings for Maternity (TTC): £950, NS&I: £200, Emergency Fund £700/£1000

  • debtaghh
    debtaghh Posts: 1,794 Forumite
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    littlemissbudgetqueen wrote: »
    Hi - Just wanted to say I have read through your diary from the start. I will subscribe to your journey :)

    Wow, thank you!
  • 117pauline
    117pauline Posts: 743 Forumite
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    It must have been very hard to come back but look how many warm welcomes you have received!

    I would suggest a little soul searching to see if you can work out where things went wrong. It will help you to come up with some achievable goals and help you avoid the potential pitfalls.

    Then draw a line and come up with some new habits to help you. You have kept up with the surveys which is great news as we come up to Christmas.

    From personal experience, food shopping in lots of stores always leads me to overspend. The less I visit shops, the less I spend and the happier I am.

    My menu plan is doing really well and I am getting a range of meals on the plan plus I am trying one new recipe a fortnight. This way I have lots of ideas without much effort. Even the freezer and cupboards are under control!!

    I hope you manage to find some extra enthusiasm, good luck
    Pauline
    Don't get it perfect - Get it going
    Better Than Before
  • debtaghh
    debtaghh Posts: 1,794 Forumite
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    117pauline wrote: »
    It must have been very hard to come back but look how many warm welcomes you have received!

    I would suggest a little soul searching to see if you can work out where things went wrong. It will help you to come up with some achievable goals and help you avoid the potential pitfalls.

    Then draw a line and come up with some new habits to help you. You have kept up with the surveys which is great news as we come up to Christmas.

    From personal experience, food shopping in lots of stores always leads me to overspend. The less I visit shops, the less I spend and the happier I am.

    My menu plan is doing really well and I am getting a range of meals on the plan plus I am trying one new recipe a fortnight. This way I have lots of ideas without much effort. Even the freezer and cupboards are under control!!

    I hope you manage to find some extra enthusiasm, good luck
    Pauline

    Thanks so much. I had my dd1 young and we lived beyond our means from minute one. I remember 15 years ago putting my food shops every week on the cc and thinking it wasn’t right but we were paying high rent which we clearly couldn’t afford. It’s just carried on from that. I’m really hoping to stick to my budgets more.
  • System
    System Posts: 178,094 Community Admin
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    Do your family and friends know your situation ? Mine don't , I am lucky in that all friends know I pay rent and don't have lots of spare cash but the bit I have enables me to still go out. My family would be horrified if they knew I am still paying CC off second time round. Reason I ask is sometimes it's nice to talk face to face about things with people who don't judge you as well as all the lovely people on here.
  • debtaghh
    debtaghh Posts: 1,794 Forumite
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    Cumbria_lass wrote: »
    Do your family and friends know your situation ? Mine don't , I am lucky in that all friends know I pay rent and don't have lots of spare cash but the bit I have enables me to still go out. My family would be horrified if they knew I am still paying CC off second time round. Reason I ask is sometimes it's nice to talk face to face about things with people who don't judge you as well as all the lovely people on here.

    My parents and sister know I have debt but would be mortified to know how much. My friends don’t know. I don’t feel I can talk to anyone face to face about it other than my dh.
  • enthusiasticsaver
    enthusiasticsaver Posts: 15,594 Ambassador
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    To be honest I cannot remember how high your debt was before but I think you must be treading a very fine line with your budget every month. I seem to recall you are having to pay your family debt back as well as the credit cards and you have high rent so I am presuming you are constantly robbing Peter to pay Paul which is difficult to sustain for long?

    I know you don't want to do a DMP which would normally be the advice for someone in your situation and of course the family debt is not recorded anywhere so repayments on that would not be allowed so I think it is just a case of struggling on until you are in a position to work more so you have two full time incomes coming in. Any news on the job interview you were going for a few weeks ago?
    I’m a Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on the Debt free Wannabe, Budgeting and Banking and Savings and Investment boards. If you need any help on these boards, do let me know. Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any posts you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the report button, or by emailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. All views are my own and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.
  • debtaghh
    debtaghh Posts: 1,794 Forumite
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    enthusiasticsaver wrote: »
    To be honest I cannot remember how high your debt was before but I think you must be treading a very fine line with your budget every month. I seem to recall you are having to pay your family debt back as well as the credit cards and you have high rent so I am presuming you are constantly robbing Peter to pay Paul which is difficult to sustain for long?

    I know you don't want to do a DMP which would normally be the advice for someone in your situation and of course the family debt is not recorded anywhere so repayments on that would not be allowed so I think it is just a case of struggling on until you are in a position to work more so you have two full time incomes coming in. Any news on the job interview you were going for a few weeks ago?

    It is extremely tight , some months are better than others depending on my business and dh’s overtime. I do try and get a few months off the family debt which also helps.

    That job was a no as well, I feel very demoralised with this as well and my mental health issues are getting worse too.
  • enthusiasticsaver
    enthusiasticsaver Posts: 15,594 Ambassador
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    I can imagine the debt is probably contributing to any mental health issues.

    As you say all you can do is set realistic goals and focus on budgeting better and gradually paying the debt down monthly even if it is a small amount.

    Keep trying with the job applications. All it takes is one yes.
    I’m a Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on the Debt free Wannabe, Budgeting and Banking and Savings and Investment boards. If you need any help on these boards, do let me know. Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any posts you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the report button, or by emailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. All views are my own and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.
  • debtaghh
    debtaghh Posts: 1,794 Forumite
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    Morning,

    I’m out all day today and it will be a spendy day but hopefully bargains! I have friends over tonight instead of going out for dinner, they are coming here and bringing food with them.

    Don’t think I’ll have much time for jobs but will try and Hoover.

    I did cancel some holidays that I had booked and could cancel , I can’t remember if I mentioned that. I’m saving loose change for spending money and have £70 so far.

    Have a great day.
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