I want to stop drowning

Happierdays

Just wanted to pop in to say you are doing well despite difficult times... keep at it !

[Deleted User]

Morning debtaghh,

Keep going hun, we're all with you xx

debtaghh

Hi,

I’ve had a busy day doing lots of jobs and need to really decide what to do about my finances!

117pauline

Nice to have achieved some tasks today.

I am not sure what you mean about "needing to really decide what to do about my finances!"

If I can make a couple of suggestions....

• Complete a SOA
  Talk to your husband and come up with a plan together
• Take a look at areas in which you could make changes
  Focus on one area and make some small changes
• Step Change or similar. Talk to them to see if there is anything they can suggest to help
• Update your SOA as needed. It's easy to lose sight of the whole picture
• Start a list of self care things that you can do

I have a habit of all or nothing which gets me nowhere in the long term. If you are setting yourself too many or too difficult targets that can be demotivating and lead to a blowout plus all those negative thoughts in your head.

I wish I could send you more than a virtual hug

Keep posting, take care
Pauline

debtaghh

117pauline wrote: »

Nice to have achieved some tasks today.

I am not sure what you mean about "needing to really decide what to do about my finances!"

If I can make a couple of suggestions....

• Complete a SOA
  Talk to your husband and come up with a plan together
• Take a look at areas in which you could make changes
  Focus on one area and make some small changes
• Step Change or similar. Talk to them to see if there is anything they can suggest to help
• Update your SOA as needed. It's easy to lose sight of the whole picture
• Start a list of self care things that you can do

I have a habit of all or nothing which gets me nowhere in the long term. If you are setting yourself too many or too difficult targets that can be demotivating and lead to a blowout plus all those negative thoughts in your head.

I wish I could send you more than a virtual hug

Keep posting, take care
Pauline

Thanks so much for your lovely message. I need to sort my life out in general I’m very stressed at the minute and am finding everything too much.

With regards to sorting money out , I mean I have some savings allocated for bits but wondering if I should use them for debt.

timetobefrugal

JI just wanted to pop by and say keep your head up!

Dealing with debt is not easy but I try and remind myself that on the grand scale of things money is not an important factor in life. We're conditioned by society that we are supposed to live a certain way, grow up, get an education and get a 'decent' career, get a mortgage, get a bigger house & bigger mortgage, have loads of savings in the bank and so on. Basically pump a load of money in to a society that allows the rich to get richer. Then a lot of us (including me) end up in huge amounts of debt for trying to keep up with this way of living, then feel like failures for it.

Self worth is not measured by money or posessions so I hope you remember that you are worthy for being you

All the best

debtaghh

timetobefrugal wrote: »

I just wanted to pop by and say keep your head up!

Dealing with debt is not easy but I try and remind myself that on the grand scale of things money is not an important factor in life. We're conditioned by society that we are supposed to live a certain way, grow up, get an education and get a 'decent' career, get a mortgage, get a bigger house & bigger mortgage, have loads of savings in the bank and so on. Basically pump a load of money in to a society that allows the rich to get richer. Then a lot of us (including me) end up in huge amounts of debt for trying to keep us with this way of living, then feel like failures for it.

Self worth is not measured by money or posessions so I hope you remember that you are worthy for being you

All the best

Thank you so much for your kind words. I think that’s exactly how I feel ... worthless. Debt causes so much stress and depression etc. I’ve been prescribed medication but haven’t taken it as that won’t solve my debt issue.

wishingthemortgaheaway

debtaghh wrote: »

Thank you so much for your kind words. I think that’s exactly how I feel ... worthless. Debt causes so much stress and depression etc. I’ve been prescribed medication but haven’t taken it as that won’t solve my debt issue.

No, but it will allow you to think more rationally and with a better sense of perspective.

Everyone on this site is lovely and behind you 100% of the way.

In motor racing and cycling they talk about 1 degree shifts and marginal gains, make lots of little improvements and, in the long run, you will be in a better position.

debtaghh

wishingthemortgaheaway wrote: »

No, but it will allow you to think more rationally and with a better sense of perspective.

Everyone on this site is lovely and behind you 100% of the way.

In motor racing and cycling they talk about 1 degree shifts and marginal gains, make lots of little improvements and, in the long run, you will be in a better position.

Thanks. I have anxiety and worry about the side effects and that I will be stuck on them for years ( I have a family member who has been on them for many years)

Happierdays

You are taking steps in the right direction... hope things improve for you soon both debt wise and in how you are feeling x keep going... cheering you on!