stepchildren and wills?
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I'm in exactly the same situation, and it's very nearly brought about the end of our relationship.
I don't want to benefit from my partner's death, but at the same time I don't want to be made homeless at a time that will already be quite sad and stressful enough.
He on the other hand, doesn't want his children to have to wait, what could be a long time, for me to die before gaining what is rightfully theirs.
We haven't found a solution that works for us yet, but it's been a relief to see that there are so many different views on here - at least I now realise it's not just a fundemental difference between his and my values!
I sympathise with your situation but I don't think anything's "rightfully theirs", whether he's alive or dead,0 -
And not forgetting that given the way funding shortfalls in Health and Social Care are going, there may not be any assets left to pass to a child should they have been needed to fund care for whatever reason.
The suggestion of looking at insurance or an investment might well be a safer way to guarantee his child receives an inheritance. That way he can put his own money into that whilst protecting his own interests via his share of the house for the future.
I understand his desire to take care of his child, but I worry for OP that this puts her security and a roof over her head well down his list of priorities.0 -
that's not quite correct either: you can make a will 'in contemplation of marriage'.JaneandBeth wrote: »Don't forget that any will you make will be totally nvalidated if you then marry, and will have to be re-made. You cannot make a will that comes into force after your marriage, so you need to get a pre-nuptial arrangement in place first, or wait until after the wedding (if it happens!) to make a will.
Although to be fair, I think the OP said she wasn't expecting to marry, so yes she'd need to make a new will if that happened as she's not contemplating marriage now.Signature removed for peace of mind0 -
I agree when the couple has been together for years, but I don't consider two people who have been together 4 years living separately comparable from a commitment perspective with the relationship you've had with your children up to that time.that’s something most couples want to avoid. Most loving partners would hate the thought of their other half having to go from the security and comfort of their jointly owned home to the stress and insecurity of trying to sell up and move with a smaller budget or privately renting,
When I moved in with my partner, I had no guarantee that we would be together forever and there is no way that at that stage, I would have given him all my assets acquired before I met him and deprived my kids of it if I'd passed away. My children would have lost much more at that stage than he would have.
We're now married, together for 10 years, and yes, the balance is shifting accordingly. In 30 years time, it will have shifted even more.
I just don't think it is right for OP to expect to gain all the assets her partner has raised the moment they move in together if the worse were to happen and he passed away days after. Wills are not that expensive and can be rewritten at any time.0 -
When I started going out with my partner she made it clear that she would never marry me or live with me. Which was (and is) absolutely fine with me.
And the main reason was to avoid a situation like this. She's had a bit of a tough time but has come through it to own a nice little house which she wants to leave to her children. I think that's totally right.
There's no way I would have caused any trouble or fought for anything after she died. I've got a house which I would have, likely, rented out. But, as someone said, you never know what people are like when there is money involved and she wasn't taking any chances.
We're older so, maybe, it is different, but I tend to be with the partner here. I agree with those that OP needs to maintain independence probably by renting out her current property. This isn't something that is easily settled0 -
Neil you had exactly the same view that my other had when we moved in together.0
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I suppose one way round it is renting both houses out and using the money to buy a house together. There would be a property to leave to each sets of kids and a property that is in joint names that one half of the couple doesnt have the threat of being booted out of if the other partner kicks it.0
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Not quite.
The basic rules if someone dies without a will are:
- IF they are married with no children, their spouse inherits
- If they are married with children, the Spouse get s the first chunk (I think about £250,000, but it may have changed) and the rest is split between the children..
The spouse receives the first £250k of the estate outright plus 50% of the remainder. The other 50% is divided equally between the deceased's children.
Note that the values of (non-DB) pension funds are outside of these rules.. The fund will be inherited at the discretion of the trustees, but they are unlikely to go against any expression of wishes lodged with the scheme, unless those wishes would be of detriment to a dependent/spouse/children of the deceased.
The marital home is also excluded from the above division if it is owned as 'joint tenants'. In that case, the home will automatically transfer to the surviving owner and will not form part of the estate under the intestacy rules. This also applies to jointly held bank and building society accounts.0 -
Hi,
I read your thread and made an account to answer as its sad to see someone struggle with this when there is an easy solution !
as you mentioned in your post there is a Trust you can use to solve this.
Purchase the property as tenancy in common, this allows you to leave your share or interest in the property to who you wish on your death, rather than joint tenants where the remaining owner becomes 100% sole owner regardless of what the Will says.
Within your Will write in a Property Trust which appoints trustees to hold the property on behalf on another this can be friends and family, whoever you appoint as executors is normal to also be trustees (they will hold this for the beneficiaries, the step-son for partner and whoever in your Will that you wish) within this Property Trust you give each other a lifetimes interest in the property to live there as you wish until the trust period is up (the most easy flexible way is the trust period will only end on the other remaining partners death but can also include conditions such as co-hobitating etc ends the trust period.)
you need not worry about having to live there the rest of your life, you are free to move property and purchase the next one as part owner yourself and the trust owning the other part.
any capital freed from the move (if its a downsize) 50% of which will have to be put aside for the beneficiary, the other 50% is of course yours. but you also are welcome to the interest from the 50% put aside for the beneficiary.
hope this makes sense as I typed it out quickly and no don't have lots of time right now.
this may of already been answered in the thread I haven't read all the replies !
p.s. don't let a solicitor or will writer charge a fortune for the above, it does require expertises but don't over pay, the company I work for charge £350 inc vat for this (for both partners Wills)
hope this helps so you can enjoy your new home without worrying0 -
I'm in exactly the same situation, and it's very nearly brought about the end of our relationship.
I don't want to benefit from my partner's death, but at the same time I don't want to be made homeless at a time that will already be quite sad and stressful enough.
He on the other hand, doesn't want his children to have to wait, what could be a long time, for me to die before gaining what is rightfully theirs.
We haven't found a solution that works for us yet, but it's been a relief to see that there are so many different views on here - at least I now realise it's not just a fundemental difference between his and my values!
take a look at my above post, you are welcome to include conditions such as x amount of years since my death the trust period ends, In that time the surviving partner can sort out their affairs.0
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