From debt to freedom...

Honeysucklelou2 · 16 August 2018 at 10:53PM

Thank you MeandO. The time went very quickly. My mum likes to come up in the holidays to give me a hand with household tasks, as she knows I don't get much help from the children. DD3 really wanted to light the chiminea one night so we introduced my mum and grandmother to the delights of a toasted marshmallow and a cup of tea by the fire. I think my grandmother was a little bemused but enjoyed the experience with us!!

M and G went home yesterday. Life has been tricky with the ex, one minute he can be cordial but other times very unpleasant. It seems to have been more so since the financial papers have been sent. Trying not to worry but yesterday evening it was too much to be around while he sorted out a meal for the children, so DD1 and I headed for the beach and enjoyed the breeze blowing. We had some food at the beach which my mum had given me some money to do so.

Today has been more cleaning and sorting. I've tidied up part of the utility room and gathered three bags of clothing to recycle.

Honeysucklelou2 · 17 August 2018 at 10:09AM

The refund has been paid today :T:T, so will put most of it aside so that I can use it for the car MOT which is due at the end of the month.

crazy_cat_lady · 17 August 2018 at 12:00PM

Hey HSL :wave:
Guess what I've spent this morning doing? Learning what a superhero you are. :T
I have absolutely no idea how you do everything you do - you are amazing. I struggle on my own with 2 kids and the cats, and the same job as you. And I thought that my ex was pushing boundaries a bit - but it's not a patch on what you're doing on a day to day basis.
I've subscribed to cheer you along and also try and motivate myself to cook or bake more - however I will never, ever get into gardening.

Honeysucklelou2 · 18 August 2018 at 5:54AM

Hi CCL! Thank you for popping by and for your kind words. I pray for strength everyday to get through what needs to be done.

Yesterday ( Friday) I spent about an hour writing an email to the new solicitor. The ex has said some things in the last week that have really worried me, to the point of sleepless nights, so I contacted the solicitor for advice. She was quick to respond and I feel calmer now. She has recommended mediation as an option for trying to work through to a financial agreement and an agreement on arrangements for the children. The ex keeps turning up on an almost daily basis at the moment:(.

The new solicitor mentioned being able to pay on a monthly basis which I think I will do. She has given me an estimate in terms of time and cost but much will depend on how willing the ex is to enter into negotiations and whether he will agree to any. The £200 saved from not having to pay HMRC will now be diverted to paying a regular amount to the solicitors. I think this is the best plan, rather than face a huge bill at the end.

DD1 and DD2 had the same day off yesterday, which rarely happens. We headed out for the day to a Forestry Commission Woods. It's about a 40 min drive but has picnic areas and a variety of walks. DD2 took the puppies and we tried them off lead. They did quite well and the exercise left them sleeping for the evening:j:j.

I did a diesel and food shop yesterday so hoping that it will last for a week. I intend to spend today cleaning and tidying and will need to start thinking about the new term from Monday on. Time has gone so fast! It's certainly starting to feel more autumnal.

I confess to spending £40 on an electric hedgecutter. As with the mower, I needs to build up a bank if basic gardening tools as I can't access any of the tools since separation. I've done as much as I can with shears but have a leylandi hedge on one boundary which needs trimming and the shears just cannot cope with it. The hedgecutter should arrive today. I went for the cheapest, well known brand. I'm not houseproud but do get garden proud :rotfl: so it will be a relief to trim the hedge. It's been annoying me all summer:D.

I must book the car in for an MOT today. As a prelude I needs to get the rear tyres changed as this was an advisory on last year's MOT and when I had the front tyres changed the garage told me the rear ones needed doing as well. Busy day ahead...

crazy_cat_lady · 18 August 2018 at 8:44AM

I pay an amount to my solicitor monthly as well - in the hope that I don't get a truly massive bill at the end of it all, although it may end up being that way. My solicitor suggested to me that I could get an injunction to keep ex out of the house if need be, regardless of whether or not his name is on the mortgage. The downside is the cost of that, but I will do it if I have to - fingers crossed it doesn't look like I will though. Might be worth considering - I presume that your home is not his, and he shouldn't really just be coming and going.

Honeysucklelou2 · 18 August 2018 at 8:57AM

That's the difficulty, it is a joint owned home, with a mortgage, but I have paid all the bills for years. He owns another house outright from before our marriage but chooses not to live there. He won't tell me where he lives. The solicitor said he has legal right of entry because it is still jointly owned but if he's coming round more than informally agreed, an injunction was the way forward. What bothers me most is when he comes round when I'm at work and helps himself to food and drink. ( Older daughter has been home and seen this happen)

crazy_cat_lady · 18 August 2018 at 12:58PM

Honeysucklelou2 wrote: »

. What bothers me most is when he comes round when I'm at work and helps himself to food and drink. ( Older daughter has been home and seen this happen)

That would really bother me as well. He sounds as though that he's treating the place as if it were still his home, but it really isn't. Hope you get the financial agreement sorted out soon.

Honeysucklelou2 · 19 August 2018 at 5:54AM

Thank you CCL.

I seemed to spend a fair amount of time driving yesterday, just collecting children! I went into the nearest town and got the two rear tyres changed. They were noted as an advisory on last year's MOT so needed to get them done. The cost was an eye-watering £197, but worth it given the mileage I do.

I don't feel I achieved as much due to the driving around but did get the mojito cake done ( thanks MeandO). It was quite a learning experience, as I hadn't realised you could buy white rum, I thought dark was the only type of rum:D. DD1 was horrified at my ignorance! The recipe gave me an ideal opportunity to use some of the mint I have growing at the allotment

.

Honeysucklelou2 · 20 August 2018 at 12:39AM

At last a NSD today! The weather has been a bit grey and damp today but I did get out for a walk with DS1 this evening. I'm learning, as a parent of older teens, that if they ask you to do something with them, it's best to put aside what you're doing and focus on that request, at least that's how it's working with me at the moment. I love the fact that a walk together often means the opportunity . Tonight we went on a circular walk, across fields, including through a field of really tall maize! It was good to get out and breathe in the cool air

. DS1 reminded me that it's results day on Thursday...it's come round so fast!

He has been looking at college courses and I helped him to apply for one yesterday. It will be interesting to see what happens next!

Honeysucklelou2 · 20 August 2018 at 11:46PM

A busy day today. I drove DS1 & DD1 to the nearest town for both to be able to access public transport to where they wanted/needed to be. On parking I heard a hissing noise coming from the front tyre, which looked suspiciously low, particularly given that the pressure had been checked on Saturday

:(:(:(. This tyre had been repaired earlier in the year so had had a puncture already. The tyre man had noticed, on Saturday, that the tyre was wearing more on the inside part so could be touch and go at the MOT. The combination of the two things plus our safety of course, made getting a replacement tyre seem the most sensible option, although the budget is starting to look wobbly. :mad::mad::mad: Almost £300 replacing 3 tyres :eek::mad:

On my return home, I decided to tackle the path outside the back door that runs the length of our home. Having 4 dogs and lots of children running through has resulted in the path looking quite muddy and slippery, so I got some hot water with a splash of bleach and scrubbed the path, then DD3 helped me to rinse it down with water and a yard broom. It definitely looks better, not as good as a pressure washer, but not bad for bleach, water and a brush!

From debt to freedom...

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