Made A Terrible Mistake
Options
Comments
-
Mummy2cheekymonkeys wrote: »When my son was born 6 months ago and I made an appointment to register his birth I was told that if I wasn't married but wanted my partners name on the certificate then he would need to attend the appointment with me. If we were already married I just had to take the marriage certificate with me. So the father could be put on the birth certificate but he would need to attend the appointment.
Yes, but YOU ( or the OP ) don’t put his name on it, HE does.0 -
Do you mean because their Father's actions mean there is the potential to screw up the children's lives if they find out?
Or because it's possible that the siblings will never know each other?
I mean because the OP seems determined to keep the child's father entirely out of its life. They've both behaved extremely badly but he does, at least, seem to want to get to know his child. She seems determined to stop him.0 -
Determined to stop him?Lioness_Twinkletoes wrote: »I mean because the OP seems determined to keep the child's father entirely out of its life. They've both behaved extremely badly but he does, at least, seem to want to get to know his child. She seems dermined to stop him.
Is she really?
I wonder just how much of the thread you've actually read.
I posted this in response to someone who said the same as you have:That might have been the OP's stance when she first started the thread but I think you'll find that she's taken on board lots of the comments about excluding the Father from their child's life and has changed her mind on that.
The post that I replied to has either been deleted by the OP or mods but you can read it in my post #185.
In fact, it's here:Originally Posted by bare
It's not about the affair or about you or the father; it's about your attitude to your unborn child. You don't seem to care about the implications of removing the father from the child's life, you only want to minimise the discomfort for yourself, short-term. I'm not talking about money here.
It's my gut feeling that tells me that something's fishy in your story - maybe not all of it but most likely much of it.. I might be wrong but that's what I believe and I trust my instinct more than anything else.
I wish all the children in this story best of luck, and strength to cope with all the !!!! you adults are putting them through.0 -
If I was to encourage you to do one thing it would be to put his name as father on the birth certificate - for that everyone is right, he has to attend the registration appointment with you - but you can use any surname you want.
Any other decision you take can be revisited later quite easily - you can ask for money if you need it, once your child is asking about a dad that he's never met you could arrange that.............. the birth certificate and that 'unknown' will continue to haunt your child, and his future family.0 -
Hi Mylife
I'm pleased to read you've told the family, I'm sure your mother will get used to the idea - my parents are strong christians and I got pregnant at 17!! Needless to say they were not overjoyed initially but soon got used to it and enjoyed baby shopping etc with me.
As for the father, you know what the right thing to do it. I, like others would urge you to put his name on the certificate, this will mean him coming with you but it really is the right thing to do for the child
Good luck0 -
Hi Mylife
I'm pleased to read you've told the family, I'm sure your mother will get used to the idea - my parents are strong christians and I got pregnant at 17!! Needless to say they were not overjoyed initially but soon got used to it and enjoyed baby shopping etc with me.
As for the father, you know what the right thing to do it. I, like others would urge you to put his name on the certificate, this will mean him coming with you but it really is the right thing to do for the child
Good luck
I’m going to say this again - SHE CANT put his name on it; only HE CAN0 -
Yes as i said in my post 'THIS WILL MEAN HIM COMING WITH YOU'
as in he has to be the one to do it!!
I appreciate that. I'm trying to get away from the phrase: "urge you to put his name on the certificate"
This isn't a choice. In fact the father could add his name later if he so chose. Without her consent. (though it may require a court order to do so)
The sooner control phrases are phased out, the sooner there will be equal rights and responsibilities between parents.0 -
I appreciate that. I'm trying to get away from the phrase: "urge you to put his name on the certificate"
This isn't a choice. In fact the father could add his name later if he so chose. Without her consent. (though it may require a court order to do so)
The sooner control phrases are phased out, the sooner there will be equal rights and responsibilities between parents.
The phrasing wasn't great I appreciate.
Roll on equal rights, the inequality between the full time and part time parents is shocking!0
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 343.3K Banking & Borrowing
- 250.1K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
- 449.7K Spending & Discounts
- 235.3K Work, Benefits & Business
- 608.1K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
- 173.1K Life & Family
- 248K Travel & Transport
- 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
- 15.9K Discuss & Feedback
- 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards