University Campus or Home?

balletshoes · 30 June 2013 at 12:45PM

gardner1 wrote: »

"Why ruin the whole uni experience" what a stupid thing to say..if the op daughter has any sense she will stay at home get good degree and not be saddled with stupid debts for years
But for that to work the op will also have to ajust/relax a bit and give daughter a bit more space and freedom

a very valid point - OP will you be able to do that, considering you have younger children in the house too?

gardner1 · 30 June 2013 at 1:00PM

thorsoak wrote: »

To throw another spanner in the works : I know from the experience of friends that several young people have failed to gain admission at their local universities because the interviewing panel has thought that it would be in the best interests of the student to move away from their roots in order to gain some independance. So local university might not be an option.

And gain 20k plus debt

mountainofdebt · 30 June 2013 at 1:06PM

stebiz wrote: »

Thanks. I can agree with most of that except one thing. Your opinion of Universities. Except for the big two, I think they are ALL equal and only the snobs think of it in any other way - and there are a lot about. If I was interviewing for a job and the two prospective employees had a 2:1 Hons - it wouldn't make any difference to me if they were Bath, Warwick or Manchester.

Well I'm far from being a snob but if you think all universities (with the exception of Oxbridge) are the same then you're mistaken

A Russell group Uni is far higher rated than the others and I would go as far as to say a 'traditional' uni is seen as higher than a university that was once a polytechnic

lostinrates · 30 June 2013 at 1:08PM

I think this is a really good post that shows how different people can view similar things:)

MrsDrink wrote: »

This is very much a marmite-subject. You will get (as you have seen) people who strongly believe living away is important, and those who don't. I fall in the latter camp, but my personality may or may not be the same as your daughters so it's hard to advise.

For me (I went to a uni 250 miles away from home so I had to live away):
* Freshers week (year) was totally overrated - I am not into foam parties etc, and I had a boyfriend so I wasn't into the whole casual relationship/sex thing. me too, but I also already knew the value of going to somethings with my own limits firmly in place just to meet people, not to compromise myself.
* I only stayed in touch with one girl after I left uni (and then only for around 2 years) - and she was someone I met on the course, she was in different halls/houses to me. The other girls I shared Halls/House with drove me insane so I avoided them as much as I could. To the point that after my final exam I packed all my things up and drove home. I went back to collect my results but didn't go to my graduation.i'm in touch with precious few of my uni acquaintances for a very particular irrelevant reason, but,I didn't like adore the people I wa on halls with either. However, we mainly got on, with few fall outs, could share a cup of tea and the occasional meal. That's part of the experience of learning tolerance and not reliance or confusing a relationship of 'necessity ' with 'friendship' or worse, love.

i
* I pay out around £130 a month for my student loans. That would pay for an amazing holiday every year for MrD and I if I saved it instead. (I appreciate it was an investment for my future earnings, but if all else could be the same I'd like to have that money in my pocket).
* My student loans were not enough to pay for me to live. They covered my halls and fees with minimal pocket money left over. As a result I ended up with £1500 over draft, and a few thousand on a credit card. This started me off on a bad relationship to credit really. Never fully paying it off, and it slowly getting bigger as it was used for 'unexpected' costs. (Read unplanned).
i worked through university ( both menial jobs, then a research role) and started a business. I'm sure need was part of the motivation at each stage! It's so very much harder now, but students have been managing in some other countries with this sort of financial hit, and I do think for many the stay at home option for this stage May be the sacrifice. For me I'd rather do it in second year onwards or post grad, but I agree its probably a question of how ready he person is, and there should be no 'shame' attached in the decision.
If I could have stayed at home, and come and go as I liked (within reason) I think I would have learnt as much about 'life' as I did going off to Uni. I think if you ask her for rent (even if it's a token gesture) then she can learn about finances/budgeting. And depending on your daughter, encourage her to socialise (you could even ask you want the house to be 'offspring' free one night a week so you get some peace and she is forced to get out and about). (There are some good threads on here about how to deal with grown up children staying at home).

That being said - when I did my post-graduate qualification I rented a 2 bedroom end terraced house on my own. I adored that. I loved having my own space. (Possibly why I hated my undergrad experience so much).
(The fact I could afford this goes to show how expensive my halls and house share was during my undergrad!!)

Although you didn't like it I think your post suggests you did learn a lot about yourself for the period of time. While its a shame you didn't enjoy it obviously, or feel that you made a breakthrough in understanding relationships I don't think many do do that consciously. However, the benefit dies seem to have been a very clear sense of self awareness and appreciation of your own space.

. I don't think that's a bad thing necessarily.

Ames · 30 June 2013 at 1:25PM

Uni's not just about what's written on the piece of paper you get at the end, it's about growing up and experiencing life differently. I've just finished my second part time first year and it's been amazing watching other students grow up and find out who they really are during that time.

MrsDrink · 30 June 2013 at 1:27PM

lostinrates wrote: »

Although you didn't like it I think your post suggests you did learn a lot about yourself for the period of time.

I guess you're right. I learnt I don't like people very much :rotfl:

As a side: When I was looking at universities my four conditions were: it did the course I wanted, with requirements around my predicted grades, near the seaside, and far away from home. In the 3 years I was there I never once went to visit the seaside (even though it was only 30 mins train ride away), and I spent most of my weekends coming home!!
I did learn that I love my home county and wanted to settle here forever

lostinrates · 30 June 2013 at 1:34PM

MrsDrink wrote: »

I guess you're right. I learnt I don't like people very much :rotfl:

As a side: When I was looking at universities my four conditions were: it did the course I wanted, with requirements around my predicted grades, near the seaside, and far away from home. In the 3 years I was there I never once went to visit the seaside (even though it was only 30 mins train ride away), and I spent most of my weekends coming home!!
I did learn that I love my home county and wanted to settle here forever

I went for the top course in my subject, NOT the best institution. In retrospect I would have gone to the 'better' place with a better social life. (I learned that doing every thing right by the book is not necessarily right for me!) Or even possibly done something different altogether!

DH chose his college at his university because he liked the grounds :rotfl: on the other hand he is still very actively involved there (in fact is giving a lecture there next term).

.

Fwiw, for neither of us was staying at home considered but that doesn't mean op's daughter should not! Things have changed a lot in recent years.

paulineb_2 · 30 June 2013 at 1:37PM

I stayed at home when I did my main degree, followed by a year away when I did a post grad about 3 years later and a year at home (in my own home) when I did another post grad about ten years later.

I dont believe I missed out on anything by not staying in student halls.
I still had a social life, with my friends who werent at uni. I made friends at uni and we also socialised as well. As for the value of money as people say, when you pay halls, the bills such as electric are included. That only teaches you the value of paying for your hall fees.

If someone has a university right on their doorstep I think its a no brainer to stay at home and save what can be massive fees. When I did my degree it was around a 25 mile round trip each way, 40 minutes on the bus each way.

People learn about money throughout their life, its absolutely each to their own. My brother on the other hand went away to university at 17 and absolutely loved it, hes been back home since and now lives with his gf but I did what was right for me and I dont regret it.

Also, some people only get a couple of offers, with so many people chasing university places, I was more than happy to get an offer from my local university. Lots of people on the degree course I did didnt live in halls or rented flats, there were loads of people who travelled from home.

I did my first degree at a local Polytechnic, Glasgow Caledonian University as it is now, I did my next at Northen College Dundee, which is now part of Dundee Uni but wasnt then and my second post grad at Paisley Uni but the course I wanted to do was only offered at that university. My brother did his degree at Abertay in Dundee.

Not having gone to universities such as Glasgow, Edinburgh or Strathclyde for example, never hindered me in getting jobs and I didnt do an honours year either (its 3 years to get a degree here, 4 for honours).

cod3 · 30 June 2013 at 2:08PM

My DD is 18 and starts uni after the summer. She will be living at home. It's a no-brainer really. We have 3 unis within 15 minutes commute and rents in the city are very expensive.

She comes and goes as she pleases already. We hardly ever see her! She has a room of her own, all mod cons, use of the car. She has a part-time job, is a savvy shopper and knows how to do her own cooking and laundry. For 1st year at least, she is happy to live at home and save on expenses. Why rack up a pile of debt when you don't need to?

Perhaps not for everyone, but it suits her and suits our family.

bylromarha · 30 June 2013 at 2:42PM

My uni friend lived at home for her first year. She hugely regretted that decision as she felt she wasn't part of the "up til 5am" brigade that sat drinking tea in the hall kitchen who never quite made it to bed.

She shared a house with me and a few others in her second year and realised what she'd missed.

She'd say go into halls and move home if you find it too hard. I don't know the difference as my nearest uni from home was a 1 hour car journey away!

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