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  • FIRST POST
    • MSE Sarah
    • By MSE Sarah 29th Oct 19, 4:52 PM
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    MSE Sarah
    Money Moral Dilemma: Should I tip if other diners don't?
    • #1
    • 29th Oct 19, 4:52 PM
    Money Moral Dilemma: Should I tip if other diners don't? 29th Oct 19 at 4:52 PM
    This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

    I usually tip 10% when out for a meal, but recently I was eating with a group who don't tip at all and felt it would have been silly to leave such a small tip just for my share, so I didn't leave anything. Should I have done it anyway?

    Unfortunately the MSE team can't always answer money moral dilemma questions as contributions are often emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be enjoyed as a point of debate and discussed at face value.

    If you havenít already, join the forum to reply!

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Page 1
    • silvercar
    • By silvercar 29th Oct 19, 5:31 PM
    • 39,826 Posts
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    silvercar
    • #2
    • 29th Oct 19, 5:31 PM
    • #2
    • 29th Oct 19, 5:31 PM
    Depends whether you are a leader or a follower.

    Ideally the group reach common agreement, or you choose your fellow diners better next time.
    • hazyjo
    • By hazyjo 29th Oct 19, 6:06 PM
    • 12,663 Posts
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    hazyjo
    • #3
    • 29th Oct 19, 6:06 PM
    • #3
    • 29th Oct 19, 6:06 PM
    I'd have left something anyway. Next time I'd take charge of the bill and say "it's £X each after rounding it up for a tip."
    2019 wins: Bottle of Prosecco; Popcorn Shed popcorn; Moisturising 'M&S Time Capsules'; Case of Boost Sport + £30 Just Eat voucher; Battle Proms tickets and hotel; under-eye serum, various tools...
    • Gavin83
    • By Gavin83 29th Oct 19, 6:12 PM
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    Gavin83
    • #4
    • 29th Oct 19, 6:12 PM
    • #4
    • 29th Oct 19, 6:12 PM
    I don't see why what the group does matters. If you want to leave a tip leave one, if you don't then don't.

    Tips are mostly a ridiculous concept anyway and really have no place in this country.
    • onwards&upwards
    • By onwards&upwards 29th Oct 19, 7:20 PM
    • 1,597 Posts
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    onwards&upwards
    • #5
    • 29th Oct 19, 7:20 PM
    • #5
    • 29th Oct 19, 7:20 PM
    If you’d put your tip on the table it might have embarrassed others into doing the same.

    Unless they’d decided to not tip because the service was bad?
    • onwards&upwards
    • By onwards&upwards 29th Oct 19, 7:21 PM
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    onwards&upwards
    • #6
    • 29th Oct 19, 7:21 PM
    • #6
    • 29th Oct 19, 7:21 PM
    I'd have left something anyway. Next time I'd take charge of the bill and say "it's £X each after rounding it up for a tip."
    Originally posted by hazyjo

    Dangerous ground, to assume everyoneís ok with splitting equally!
    • hazyjo
    • By hazyjo 29th Oct 19, 8:07 PM
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    hazyjo
    • #7
    • 29th Oct 19, 8:07 PM
    • #7
    • 29th Oct 19, 8:07 PM
    Dangerous ground, to assume everyoneís ok with splitting equally!
    Originally posted by onwards&upwards
    I'm really not one of those who sit there adding up what each person spent, but appreciate not everyone is like that. Thankfully me and my groups of friends always just split. We go out often enough for it to even out.
    2019 wins: Bottle of Prosecco; Popcorn Shed popcorn; Moisturising 'M&S Time Capsules'; Case of Boost Sport + £30 Just Eat voucher; Battle Proms tickets and hotel; under-eye serum, various tools...
    • n18lor
    • By n18lor 29th Oct 19, 9:22 PM
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    n18lor
    • #8
    • 29th Oct 19, 9:22 PM
    Tipping
    • #8
    • 29th Oct 19, 9:22 PM
    I only tip if Iíve had good service. My brother lives in Canada and if he gets poor service he just leaves 1 cent as a tip, so as the waiter/waitress knows he didnít forget to leave a tip. Might do that myself some day Iím feeling mean.
    • onwards&upwards
    • By onwards&upwards 29th Oct 19, 9:52 PM
    • 1,597 Posts
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    onwards&upwards
    • #9
    • 29th Oct 19, 9:52 PM
    • #9
    • 29th Oct 19, 9:52 PM
    I'm really not one of those who sit there adding up what each person spent, but appreciate not everyone is like that. Thankfully me and my groups of friends always just split. We go out often enough for it to even out.
    Originally posted by hazyjo

    It depends on the group.

    If youíve got a veggie teetotaller and a steak eating wine drinker, one is always going to come out of it a lot better than the other if you split evenly! Groups of friends donít always earn similar amounts or have the same financial circumstances either.

    If youíre lucky and everyone is genuinely able and happy to split, great! Just never Ďtake charge of the billí and make that assumption unless youíre 100% sure! Could be really awkward!
    • REJP
    • By REJP 29th Oct 19, 9:56 PM
    • 140 Posts
    • 181 Thanks
    REJP
    Should I tip?
    I never tip if there is a service charge. In fact, if service is poor I have been known to subtract the service charge and not leave a tip.
    However, if I am with a group who don't tip, and there is no service charge, I would leave my own tip and make sure the group saw me do it. I would hand it personally to my waiter to make sure he or she got it, not the management.
    • mrpunk50
    • By mrpunk50 29th Oct 19, 10:01 PM
    • 14 Posts
    • 60 Thanks
    mrpunk50
    I'm gradually coming around to the idea that tipping is ridiculous.

    My wife works in retail for low wages, and nobody tips her. My sister doesn't make much money dealing with the public in an NHS job, and nobody tips her.

    Why should we tip waiting staff, when other minimum wage workers work just as hard?
    • onwards&upwards
    • By onwards&upwards 29th Oct 19, 10:04 PM
    • 1,597 Posts
    • 3,189 Thanks
    onwards&upwards
    I'm gradually coming around to the idea that tipping is ridiculous.

    My wife works in retail for low wages, and nobody tips her. My sister doesn't make much money dealing with the public in an NHS job, and nobody tips her.

    Why should we tip waiting staff, when other minimum wage workers work just as hard?
    Originally posted by mrpunk50

    Have to say, iíd be happy to see the back of it. Proper living wage for everybody has to be better.
    • REJP
    • By REJP 29th Oct 19, 10:20 PM
    • 140 Posts
    • 181 Thanks
    REJP
    Should I tip?
    Most bar and catering staff are on minimum wage, and tips are important to them. If paid a decent wage then tips might not be important to them. Of course, the cost of eating out could go up if pay went up.
    Depends a lot on the country in which you are eating out. I have lived in Russia and Japan, tipping in Japan is seen as an insult. In Russia when I was there the only people who got tips were porters, hairdressers, public toilet cleaners, and in some areas taxi drivers.
    In many restaurants and cafes in USA staff rely on tips as the wages are shockingly low compared to here even with our minimum wage. There have been recorded cases of waiters chasing customers down the road if they have not left a tip.
    My advice is check local customs and tip if you normally do in UK, but not in countries where it is an insult.
    One thing I do object to is the practice in establishments of deliberately putting large jars on a counter half full of change with the notice "Staff Gratuities". And if you visit Cuba, beware of arranged day trips where a meal is part of the trip, you will often find that your party leaves by a narrow exit where a smiling little child holds a box for tips. I once went on a trip to a sugar cane factory by very old steam train and carriages. Every row of seats had a wicker basket nailed on the end with a local currency note pinned to the basket as a very heavy hint!
    • Takmon
    • By Takmon 29th Oct 19, 11:41 PM
    • 1,077 Posts
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    Takmon
    Most bar and catering staff are on minimum wage, and tips are important to them. If paid a decent wage then tips might not be important to them.
    Originally posted by REJP
    Minimum wage is enough for a very low skilled job such as those. They simply have to take an order and carry the food/drinks to the table and take it away when finished. It's a job anyone can do with very brief training.

    There are also plenty of other minimum wage jobs that people are in and they never get tips so I don't see how much they earn means they deserve tips.
    • gloriouslyhappy
    • By gloriouslyhappy 29th Oct 19, 11:58 PM
    • 444 Posts
    • 912 Thanks
    gloriouslyhappy
    I find tipping awkward and embarrassing, how I wish everyone would stop doing it. I went on a dream trip for which I'd saved long and hard but didn't realise I've have to spend a good 10% over expected costs on tipping the coach driver, the coach driver's assistant, the performers at the paid for separately cultural experience etc etc etc. Ate substantially into my spending allowance and left me annoyed and embarrassed. Just wish the stated price is the final price!
    • hazyjo
    • By hazyjo 30th Oct 19, 12:13 AM
    • 12,663 Posts
    • 17,388 Thanks
    hazyjo
    It depends on the group.

    If youíve got a veggie teetotaller and a steak eating wine drinker, one is always going to come out of it a lot better than the other if you split evenly! Groups of friends donít always earn similar amounts or have the same financial circumstances either.

    If youíre lucky and everyone is genuinely able and happy to split, great! Just never Ďtake charge of the billí and make that assumption unless youíre 100% sure! Could be really awkward!
    Originally posted by onwards&upwards
    Do think that's a whole other debate and totally realise not everyone is the same. Only speaking from my own POV as I go out for dinner a lot with different groups of friends. Obviously not right for EVERYONE. As you say, depends on the group. We would always leave a tip though (unless service has been appalling) but again realise not everyone chooses to. Their prerogative, obviously.

    I wonder if it makes a difference regionally too...
    2019 wins: Bottle of Prosecco; Popcorn Shed popcorn; Moisturising 'M&S Time Capsules'; Case of Boost Sport + £30 Just Eat voucher; Battle Proms tickets and hotel; under-eye serum, various tools...
    • Saetana
    • By Saetana 30th Oct 19, 1:42 AM
    • 1,228 Posts
    • 2,343 Thanks
    Saetana
    In the UK I always tip in restaurants - unless the service is poor. If your friends are cheapskates that should not stop you leaving a tip. Waiters/waitresses are often on minimum wage, the tips for good service help to keep them off benefits. What kind of people are your friends? Barring poor service, there is no excuse for not leaving a tip. However, beware if you are adding to the tip on top of a card payment - these do not always go to the staff that waited on you - if you are tipping by card then make sure to ask for the company's tipping policy.
    2020 Wins:
    • JReacher1
    • By JReacher1 30th Oct 19, 7:04 AM
    • 3,258 Posts
    • 4,570 Thanks
    JReacher1
    A lot of people don’t like to tip. They will claim it is because of some moral objection to tipping but at the end of the day these people are just a bit miserly!

    Having someone cook and then serve you food to you is worthy of a small gratuity to show your appreciation.
    • Marvel1
    • By Marvel1 30th Oct 19, 7:36 AM
    • 4,688 Posts
    • 5,308 Thanks
    Marvel1
    In the UK I always tip in restaurants - unless the service is poor. If your friends are cheapskates that should not stop you leaving a tip. Waiters/waitresses are often on minimum wage, the tips for good service help to keep them off benefits. What kind of people are your friends? Barring poor service, there is no excuse for not leaving a tip. However, beware if you are adding to the tip on top of a card payment - these do not always go to the staff that waited on you - if you are tipping by card then make sure to ask for the company's tipping policy.
    Originally posted by Saetana
    Do you tip everyone on minimum wage?
    • Zero Sum
    • By Zero Sum 30th Oct 19, 7:48 AM
    • 1,532 Posts
    • 1,259 Thanks
    Zero Sum
    In the UK I always tip in restaurants - unless the service is poor. If your friends are cheapskates that should not stop you leaving a tip. Waiters/waitresses are often on minimum wage, the tips for good service help to keep them off benefits. What kind of people are your friends? Barring poor service, there is no excuse for not leaving a tip. However, beware if you are adding to the tip on top of a card payment - these do not always go to the staff that waited on you - if you are tipping by card then make sure to ask for the company's tipping policy.
    Originally posted by Saetana
    And what if the person eating out is also on min wage. Theyd be tipping someone who earns more once you add in earned tips.

    There isnt no excuse for it. As others have said its a ridiculous concept.
    Do you tip the person on the checkout at Tesco?
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