Why do our own brains attack us...?

Alias_Omega · 10 November 2018 at 10:00PM

Hi,

I think you may find this thread helpful, we are here and we do post...

Link - https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5432313&page=533

You are not alone in what you have posted. Maybe this is how things are...but one talks about it...

SuperPikachu · 12 November 2018 at 11:32AM

Working_Mum wrote: »

I think you are very brave fir opening up to how you're feeling.

I am dashing but want ti mention two things - firstly read the book the chimp paradox and listen to the podcast griefcast by carriad lloyd

There is a book called the 52 list project if you like a good lift

Well done on taking the first steps out of where you are and making the decision to take that first step

Chimp Paradox is interesting so far although I can't tell if it is encouraging me to become a schizophrenic or not

caprikid1 · 12 November 2018 at 2:33PM

I really liked your title as it struck a real chord with me. I came to conclusion recently that it is just that a chemical reaction.

I was cycling to work one day and feeling really down and all of a sudden it just lifted like a wave, the cloud clearing. It was at that point I realised that what every my circumstance (Quite different to yours) I was still vulnerable in the same way as anyone else. What takes someone to take their life who is in the same position as me and someone else to be permanently bouncing of the walls with Joy, quite simply it is just chemicals.

Whilst I know it does not help much on the whole scheme of things it has helped me to stop and ponder when I feel down that nothing has in fact changed and it is just as your say my brain attacking me.

Sunshinesally · 12 November 2018 at 3:18PM

Hi SuperPikachu,

The first thing that struck me is how incredibly open and expresive you are. That is a real skill right there.

You can always talk about your feelings by calling Samaritans. I'm sorry to hear about your father, not just his death but that he was an alcoholic and abusive towards you, that must be difficult, it was NEVER acceptable for him to speak to you like that. Your father had a problem.

You deserved to be treated better as a child and you 100% deserve happiness now. Some counselling could be useful to you, then you might begin to see how things you have learnt in you childhood have developed the way you think now. I was verbally abused as a child and abandoned as a child and my self esteem was awful, things like learning to drive or anything that required confidence were challenging, it took me years, and I drive an auto which makes things easier. Sometimes I just wanted to talk about my experience to someone anonymously but because I kept it secret it never felt acknowledged.

You have a lot to be proud of. You have survived a difficult childhood, you are strong (to open up), you are sensitive (yes that's a positive) and you are thoughtful and caring (a valuable trait nowadays).

I suffer from obsessional depressional/anxious/intrusive thoughts (i.e. Catastrophic thinking, overthinking etc). I would suggest one-to-one CBT referred via your GP. Be honest about the type of thoughts you are having with your therapist, they have heard them all. I have learnt that you acknowledge the thought or worry, like a training pulling into a station, but you don't get on the train. You let the train (thought) pull away. Or I just tell my brain, it's OCD, and move on.

Try and find time to do something with your girlfriend or activities that help to lift your mood. It might help to break the pattern.

Thank you for posting, lots of people have responded with books that I hadn't heard of and might be of interest to me. You post has also helped me to realise I'm not alone. The fact that people have cared enough to respond to you restores my faith in people.

Finally, I would ask you to be kinder to yourself given everything you have experienced and ask you doctor for help, perhaps counselling or one to one CBT.

[Deleted User] · 12 November 2018 at 3:58PM

I completely get where you're coming from with your own mind laying into you, it's the worst.

Pixie5740 · 12 November 2018 at 4:45PM

I'm going to caveat this by pointing out that I am not a doctor or any other kind of medical professional.

I think that people have too much time on their hands these days. On one hand technology helps us and on the other hand some people seem to be glued to a screen all the time. There was an interesting documentary on BBC Scotland about a 23 year old woman living in Edinburgh who was suffering from anxiety and depression. She made the move to North Ronaldsay (a remote island in the Orkneys with a population of less than 50 people). Due to the nature of island life she has 9 different jobs and knows everyone on the island whereas in Edinburgh despite being surrounded by people she felt lonely.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/mediacentre/proginfo/2018/29/the-island-that-saved-my-life

I realise this is a bit simplistic and might not be the answer for everyone but I do think there is something in keeping busy and interacting with other human beings.

Primrose · 12 November 2018 at 5:00PM

I do think, even if you are of a shy nature, being in the regular comoany of other human beings is a generally positive thing. Too much time spent alone, if of a shy, depressive or anxious nature only serves to increase the pressure to reflect on self rather than other people.

littlegreenparrot · 12 November 2018 at 7:14PM

You have had a lot of good advice so far, please do seek support with the GP and counselling. It may be they need to change your medication.

My suggestions, try not to compare yourself with anyone else. Social media is not helpful, as it makes it look like everyone is having an amazing time, but they aren't really. Look at what progress you have made.

Come up with goals for the day/week/month. They need to be small and realistic. When I was having a tough time years ago, I had a rule that I had to cook proper dinner every night. I knew I could achieve it, it didn't cost much, and only eating toast and biscuits wasn't helping.
Anything new that you are interested in, it's motivating, you achieve something and keeps the mind busy.

Try and get outside when you can, ideally green spaces. A walk in the park at the weekend, take a thermos and a snack. There's growing evidence it helps depression.

Hold on to the fact that you are not alone, there is a way through.

SuperPikachu · 13 November 2018 at 10:03AM

littlegreenparrot wrote: »

Try and get outside when you can, ideally green spaces. A walk in the park at the weekend, take a thermos and a snack. There's growing evidence it helps depression.

Thanks, yes I will try this too.

The intensity of this attack has passed for now, so that is good. We never know how long it will be until the next though (if it comes) so I want to put into action some of the above and I appreciate all of the feedback.

I think seeing the GP, taking more walks/getting some more sun/vitamin D/SAD sort of thing, trying some of the list/goal ideas, and I'm reading the Chimp Paradox already, I'll try the job book after hopefully.

It is nice to hear other peoples experiences though, so would be cool if people still add those unless this thread just goes down the page otherwise but that's OK. I did see there are other threads about people not coping/liking support, but I wanted this to be more about what to do to try and fix things, not just to vent/talk about my problems. I'm quite emotionally cold and more of a "get on with it" sort of person.

Working_Mum · 13 November 2018 at 10:43AM

I was so gutted to read of your dad, his death and the impact he has had on you. I have recently started listening to a podcast called the Griefcast by Cariad Lloyd - it has been a revelation. Death of someone is not something that you "get over" - it is something you learn to acknowledge and accommodate into our lives.

You have taken some really positive steps to manage your situation and that is an empowering, positive thing to do, well done

Why do our own brains attack us...?

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