What do I do.....

My son who is 17 in July left school last May, went to a training place got kicked off as he wasnt turning in etc etc, so we said he has to get a job, he didnt and instead is re-taking his english and maths two mornings a week.

When he isnt doing his studies he isnt getting out of bed till after 12 everyday, comes downstairs sits on the pc, eats goes upstairs, showers and then maybe goes out for the rest of the night.

Now, my husband gets in from work sees that my son is doing nothing and sometimes is still in his dressing gown, and they have had words, (my son is not my partners lad, but has been there since he was 4) they are not talking and the atmosphere is starting to get to me.

I saw my husband today and he has said something has to be done, otherwise ultimations will start, basically get a job or get out, (son has other places to go) but if my OH said that I would probably stick up for my son.

So, I spoke to my son today and told him as he does nothing around the house, from Monday he has to do his own washing and ironing, his response was you have been talking to that !!!! havent you! So obviously I told him off for calling him names, and told him that no I hadnt and that me and him (my son ) were going to town on tuesday to sign up to some agencies to do some temping work.

I dont know I am just so pi**sed off with my OH and son that sometimes I feel like saying Fu*k the lot of ya I'm off!

How do you think I should treat the situation, or what should I do?

Thanks sorry for going on.

**************************************************************UPDATE NEED ADVICE
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Ok, the other day my son bought a fathers day card for his real dad and left it downstairs, my OH noticed that there was only one card in the bag, so my OH said to me dont mention anything to my son about getting me anything for fathers day as I want to see what he does, so I said OK!

So, heres where it all went wrong.

Saturday I decide to make some bacon sandwiches, I ask OH to cut the bread, he only cuts enough slices for me and himself, so I said have you asked my son, he gave me a look as if to say NO, why should I??

So, I go and ask him if he would like a bacon sarnie to eat, he says Yes!

I go back in the kitchen and tell OH he wants one, he gives me another funny look and I say whats with the look, am I suppose to just cook and not offer him anything? He says yes, hes old enough to cook for himself, I say yes he is but if I am already cooking something then normal people would ask if somebody else would like some?? Anyway it got into a bit of a slanging match saying I always take his side, in the end I told my OH to F**K off, he stood there and said you know what really gets to me, is how easy it is for you to say F**K off to me, with that he got his keys and wallet and left.

This morning he comes home at 10am, saying that he still doesnt think he was wrong about not offering the food? He says he has been too soft since the day he met me, and that his opinion in this house means nothing and that I always have the end decision.

Then I tell him that obviously my son was going to make amends because I found another fathers day card and present for my OH, but that didnt seem to make a difference. I then said that you and him need to resolve this and my OH said its never going to be resolved.

With that he went off with my younger son to play rugby, so we will be having a chat this afternoon.

Now, what if he was to give my an ultimation him or my oldest son??