What do I do.....

StartingAgainKayla70

Thank you, I like the idea of him travelling not sure if he would do it on his own though?

I will suggest about the rep job also. The problem with me is that I am not very good at explaining things very well my vocabulary is pretty low on words, and sometimes I probably come across as arsey to him.

Anyhow, I am going to shoot upstairs now and have a quick word with him.

Jesus, I have another two to go through this yet.

Thanks again.

ps Like the Jeremey Kyle one :rotfl:

StartingAgainKayla70

Well, I have just spoken to him, didnt raise my voice spoke to him in a nice way.

Told him hes had a year off now, and gave him some options about the travelling and repping etc etc.

Told him about signing up to the agencies and that it was just to get him out of a rut and that it could open other doors if he particulary liked it. Told him it was about standing on his own two feet now and having to break away from my apron strings, I gave him expamples of two of his friends who work in McDonalds explained that they probably dont enjoy it too much, but it gives them motivation to get up as it gives them their own money.

I am crap at explaining things, anyway, he listened didnt moan so we shall see next week.

Thanks again

Errata

Don't let him manipulate you, don't let him play you off against your OH, don't let him bully you, don't let him continue in this way as the younger ones will see it's an acceptable way to behave in your house.
Why not set some house rules that apply to all the kids?

pulliptears

Whatever happens you must show a united front with your OH, even if he isnt your sons father. He has raised this lad as his own for 13 years from the sounds of it and your son will delight in the "you arent my dad" game which inevitably makes things worse
Good luck!

StartingAgainKayla70

pulliptears wrote: »

Whatever happens you must show a united front with your OH, even if he isnt your sons father. He has raised this lad as his own for 13 years from the sounds of it and your son will delight in the "you arent my dad" game which inevitably makes things worse
Good luck!

My son and OH are at logger heads at the moment over something lastweek and my son is using the "you arent my dad crap with me when I refer to him as his dad"

Its bloodey hard work, you think it gets easier the older they get!

Thanks though.

Oh spoke to my sons real dad and he is in total agreement with me and OH which is good to know!

pulliptears

I guess having another Dad in there complicates it. My OH raised my son from 12 months old, but has never used that line, then again, he has never met his "sperm donor".

OH's best friend grew up in a similar situation and delighted in using it against his parents, especially if he thought it could cause a rift between them. I think having his real Dad onside is a good thing, perhaps he could have a word to your son reiterating what you OH said?

I really do feel for you, and I pray that my DS never tries the same thing, although he is only 14 atm and a good kid I do anticipate the usual teenage nightmares sooner or later!

((hugs))

LilMissEmmylou

If he is still in touch with his real dad, why dont you ask him to have a quick word with him too if the situation doesnt change after the chat you had today? Perhaps he would listen to him? (i dunno im just guessing)

boo81

I can identify with this as my ex's brother was just like this, he quite macdonalds because the manager didnt show him enough respect! He changed dramatically after going to camp america, he ended up taking a job and moving out, even learning DIY. It was a radical solution but maybe something which is fun but also involves responsibility will give him more f a sense of purpose?!

I wish I could offer some real advice but I cant!

Savvy_Sue

BTW, I don't think doing the washing etc is unreasonable. all mine have to start doing their own laundry once they're in the 6th form. Plus everyone mucks in with any jobs I ask to have done. It's preparation for leaving home!

nats3006

(((hugs)))

Your not alone! i feel like telling people to f off all the time and just wanna go away! but i know i dont mean it i think its just a cry for help

Anyway hope you get it all sorted out and good luck

xx