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    • mintymoneysaver
    • By mintymoneysaver 5th Apr 11, 9:23 PM
    • 3,471 Posts
    • 17,761 Thanks
    mintymoneysaver
    • #2
    • 5th Apr 11, 9:23 PM
    • #2
    • 5th Apr 11, 9:23 PM
    Good question! I think I'd have to give 18 to the 27 child so that they come out with a similar debt. Or would I give 12 to one and 6 to the other? Decisions, decisions! As both of mine will have to pay the 27 I won't have this problem at leeast!
  • BlueAngelCV
    • #3
    • 5th Apr 11, 9:53 PM
    • #3
    • 5th Apr 11, 9:53 PM
    I would give the same to each.

    Or, if the eldest has already gone to Uni and has the debts could you give him say 6,000 now & tell the youngest that you will "help out" and then give him more than the eldest but do it more subtley so that it doesn't cause resentment. They're unlikely to add up what you've given over all the years but giving one more than the other (particularly when 1 doesn't actually have the debt yet) is likely to cause issues.
    Wedding 5th September 2015
    • higginsb
    • By higginsb 5th Apr 11, 10:06 PM
    • 20 Posts
    • 69 Thanks
    higginsb
    • #4
    • 5th Apr 11, 10:06 PM
    • #4
    • 5th Apr 11, 10:06 PM
    It is not up to parents to repay their children's debts. They get repaid out of the student's earnings once the student is employed, and earning over a certain amount. If you are particularly affluent, and really want to pay off your kid's student debts, you should divide your money so that both of your kids are left in a similar financial sitution when they leave uni, which will obviously mean the younger one will get more when the time comes.
    • 3400581
    • By 3400581 5th Apr 11, 10:48 PM
    • 20 Posts
    • 54 Thanks
    3400581
    • #5
    • 5th Apr 11, 10:48 PM
    • #5
    • 5th Apr 11, 10:48 PM
    NOOOOOO! Don't waste your money on propping up the government. Invest wisely in things you enjoy like holidays, fine wine and dining etc. Your kids need to learn to fend for themselves and if they don't make a very good job of it the Governemnt will get b*gg*r all back.
    • billbennett
    • By billbennett 5th Apr 11, 10:51 PM
    • 2,270 Posts
    • 1,623 Thanks
    billbennett
    • #6
    • 5th Apr 11, 10:51 PM
    • #6
    • 5th Apr 11, 10:51 PM
    So assuming that we could repay 18k, would you give 9k each or 18k to the youngest?
    Originally posted by MSE Penelope
    just because i COULD, doesn't inherently mean i WOULD...
    In "Monopoly", what makes the "Super Tax" so super?
    • scotsbob
    • By scotsbob 5th Apr 11, 10:53 PM
    • 4,462 Posts
    • 6,958 Thanks
    scotsbob
    • #7
    • 5th Apr 11, 10:53 PM
    • #7
    • 5th Apr 11, 10:53 PM
    Split it 9K to each and send youngest up here to live in Scotland where no student tuition fees.
    • mancmum
    • By mancmum 5th Apr 11, 10:59 PM
    • 82 Posts
    • 43 Thanks
    mancmum
    • #8
    • 5th Apr 11, 10:59 PM
    Difficult decision - talk to them about your plans
    • #8
    • 5th Apr 11, 10:59 PM
    This is a real question for us and its horrible because when its a real question a lot more comes into play. There are three of them...one is likely to be more successful that the others...how do you handle this?

    At the core of the question for us is that we as parents want to help our kids in the ways that they need.

    So far we have had a family round table and told them that the most important thing is that we are always there to help them and we will not help anyone until everyone is through the system and we have a better idea of how much we might have to help with.

    In the interim we have set aside the same sum of money for both of them and said this
    is yours we are giving it to you. !!!! it against the wall in the student union and its gone...save it and use it wisely and you might have some left at the end.

    But the world has moved on since number 1 went to university. He got a job in a fried chicken joint and worked for the first two years of his degree. He had his lump sum and never touched it.

    Where will number 2 find a job when he's at university? Already the ground has shifted and that's much less likely. I have to admit I've identified how he could set up a microbusiness in the summer before studying and I'm push him to do that.

    Number 3 might be bright enough to get an award or a sponsor...how do we treat that.

    For the moment we have said we won't pay out to anyone, we'll hold onto the money...if one of them for whatever reason needed help with health that will always be our first priority and we've sat round the table to talk about that with the whole family. We've also said - think about this decision..university is expensive. 27,000 (not that we have that much) would set you up with a white van and a trade. Better to be the brightest electrician around that a third rate degree holder.

    Now I'm really starting to think what support we might be able to offer as the mature...travelling to live near them to provide child care if they want it, help to do up a house, or whatever and ultimately that might be worth a lot more than paying off a uni debt. Also wondering about putting something into a pension rather than paying off debts.

    May be we've already given them the best start we can, they can cook a better currying than the local takeway, they have been brought up to question not falling prey to the latest trend, to share and to make the most of what they have got.

    Will read the responses with interest.
  • CGirlPeaGirl
    • #9
    • 5th Apr 11, 11:37 PM
    Help the youngest out!
    • #9
    • 5th Apr 11, 11:37 PM
    Hello!

    I totally think you should give the younger child the 18,000 and explain to both that the reason you are doing this is that the situation with university education has changed dramatically since the first one started.

    Put simply, without the extra money the younger child will be paying for a very long time to repay this debt and the older child must understand that times have changed. I'm sure if the older child was in the younger child's position they would appreciate this.

    It is very good of you to help them both out in this way.

    CGirlPeaGirl
  • swangirl12
    I think I would invest the money wisely for now, and let them see how they get on with repaying the fees themselves. It may be that at some point in the future they will value additional help, perhaps with money towards a house deposit or something like that, or perhaps if one of them begins to struggle with paying expenses while at university. If you want to put it towards uni fees, it is fairer to help them in relation to need rather than just give out an equal amount to both, when the cost of the university education is not equal. It is unfortunate that a university education is a lot more expensive now (so the younger one is already at a disadvantage as will need to borrow more); also if either of them goes on to post-graduate study, there will be more student fees added before anything gets repaid. They don't have to repay until they get a job. It is also worth checking the conditions of any new student loans - there was talk of heavy penalties for early repayment under the new system, which would not make it an attractive option to pay off anyway. Make sure they are doing a degree which will enable them to get a well paid job afterwards !! I am 52, but if I was having my time over I would become a doctor - my brother did it and he repaid all his loans and is very well off now !! Most jobs are asking for degrees so it is probably worth the investment, I am about to go back to uni to study as a social worker because I have been unable to gain employment with a community education degree !! Good luck with your dilemma, the children are very fortunate to have parents who can afford to help them out .... hope they appreciate you!!
  • tom1985
    To the OP, if you are set on covering your children's tuition fees then yes, I believe you should give 27,000 to the younger child and 9,000 to the oldest. This doesn't represent any profit or advantage to the youngest child, it merely leaves them in the same position as their older sibling. Any unfairness is the fault of the governments.

    To the other posters saying children should pay for their own debts, whilst I would generally agree with this sentiment I wholeheartedly disagree where education is concerned. A majority of members of this site would have grown up when university education was free. Now kids are expected to pay 27,000 tuition fees, have less chance of finding a job, pay higher taxes and work more years until retirement. Have some compassion.
  • pretzelnut
    I would invest it for their futures. I would like to see my children making an effort to pay their own debt back, as it's a good lesson for them to learn that we wont be there all the time to bail them out when things get tight, and they got themselves into that debt, so they need to learn how to get out of it.

    I would then (not that I have a penny to my name but I can dream) give them a small amount of cash for a house deposit or car, or to help them start their own business. Once they had proved that they could manage money effectively and not squander it away after we worked so hard to save it.

    I know this doesn't help with your own question about who to pay etc, but I don't believe education fee's are the responsibility of the parent, the child chooses to go to uni, it is still a choice, Im a mature student, I wouldn't expect anything from my parents they never went to uni so why should they suffer the cost. I take great pride in the fact that my hard work got me to where I am and my hard work will pay it off.
    Is thankful to those who have shared their
    fortune with those less fortunate
    than themselves - you know who you are!
  • katieso
    I'm a bit unclear on what you mean in "giving" them the money if the debt is from a student loan. Noone is going to be chasing either of them for it (I'm speaking from the experience of having a 13800 student loan debt myself) and as far as I am concerned it is not the kind of debt that hangs over a person. It gets paid back slowly and surely. Yes, it's horrible to think of it being there but it is well managed. So that 9000 won't actually (or necessarily) go to paying that money back. Which makes me think that you should invest in both their futures.

    That said, my younger sister is paying triple the fees I paid and having to take out a tuition fee loan to cover them (which I didn't). If my parents were in the position to pay these instead of her taking out the extra loan for these I would not have any issues with this at all because that would be giving us both the same chance. Although I would feel sorry for my parents! After all, in every other circumstance at 18 we are considered independent of our parents!
    Last edited by katieso; 06-04-2011 at 12:53 AM.
    • keet83
    • By keet83 6th Apr 11, 1:01 AM
    • 211 Posts
    • 94 Thanks
    keet83
    Personally i wouldn't pay either, they're both over 18 and i would have trained them how to deal with their finances correctly and how they can deal with debts. However if i did have to give them the 18000 then i would give 4500 to the eldest and 13500 to the youngest, that way i am paying 50% of both of their loans making it much fairer.
    Beggars cant be choosers, but savers can!
    That used to be the case
    • hvd201
    • By hvd201 6th Apr 11, 1:13 AM
    • 685 Posts
    • 744 Thanks
    hvd201
    I would personally give them each an equal proportion of their loans paid off - ie both get 75% of the debt paid off, as then they are on a more equal footing for their futures.
    I think it is a wonderful gesture and also a good way to support your children now, rather than the money being taxed when you die. I know that sounds harsh, but it is a much more efficient way to help out your children rather than them having to pay 25% of it (or whatever the sum will be) when you are no longer around.
    • clairmelville
    • By clairmelville 6th Apr 11, 2:33 AM
    • 29 Posts
    • 26 Thanks
    clairmelville
    Paying the kids student debt.
    From the stand point of a graduate with way more debt than I really want to see on the yearly statement from SAAS I would tell parents wanting to pay off student debt to use the money on holidays or something that makes them happy. That should be what matters to your offspring, not the cash you can give them.
    The government provides a (admittidly not perfect) way for those from les well off backgrounds to attend university. Yes as a parent you are obliged to contribute during their time at uni, but I think this should be for living costs, and any debt racked up in terms of tuition fees should be paid back when they are earning.
    And really I have not thought twice about my 'debt'. It comes off my paypacket before it hits my bank every month, just like tax or NI or pension so I don't even notice the 200 coming off.

    DOnt pay them any money, if you really want to give something then what about a family holiday or soemthing.
    • Rachb2
    • By Rachb2 6th Apr 11, 2:57 AM
    • 19 Posts
    • 95 Thanks
    Rachb2
    Don't pay off their tuition fees!

    If your children don't get a job that pays a high enough salary they will never have to pay off the blasted things. If they do get a good job then they will have a small amount taken out of their pay each month. Either way the debt collectors are not going to be hammering at anyone's door.

    It would be much more sensible (and profitable) to either give them an equal amount of money for a deposit to buy a house...seeing as that's the thing everyone is finding so hard to do now. Or even better invest in a property where their University is (if you can afford to do that), set it up as a house of multiple occupancy and charge their fellow students rent. Imagine a 4 bedroom house, each room generating 300 a month.....if you can set up an interest only mortgage then you can sell the house after they've left uni and you may even have made some extra money.

    Having been through University with no financial assistance from my parents...3 times...to get a BSc then an MSc and finally a PhD...it can be done. You will not be helping them by paying their debts for them, they have to learn to make these big decisions themselves. Ever since the tuition fees went up people are having to really think about whether University is right for them....maybe they will want to skip the whole thing and become a property developer...making money from the students!
    • jagu
    • By jagu 6th Apr 11, 8:05 AM
    • 25 Posts
    • 24 Thanks
    jagu
    Be fair in their eyes
    The most important thing is that each child believes you are being fair to them. If one resents what you have done, that could cause problems for the rest of your life. There is no objectively "right" thing to do that they will automatically accept. So, ask them. Explain all the factors that you know about and have a discussion. Hopefully, between the two of them, they can agree what is fair. Make sure they understand that once they've agreed of their own free will, there is no discussion in the future if, for example, one earns a lot more than the other.
  • chrysalis_kat
    I would say use the money to put a deposit on a house or flat. By allowing them (and possibly their friends) to rent from you rather than some money grabbing landlord you will save them thousands in the long term as their rent is actually paying off the mortgage. Then you can sell on the property and should still have the lump sum which you can split between them at that future point.
    • edinburgher
    • By edinburgher 6th Apr 11, 8:12 AM
    • 11,262 Posts
    • 60,430 Thanks
    edinburgher
    Make sure they understand that once they've agreed of their own free will, there is no discussion in the future
    I think that's a very valid point.

    My siblings were allowed to live at home rent free as students, but received no help beyond that. 4/5 of us got jobs and generally did very well (although I messed it up a bit by renting privately throughout!)

    My youngest sibling, however, lives at home rent free, doesn't work, gets a generous stipend (which he claims to resent) and appears to have whatever he needs bought for him in addition. In the grand scheme of things, he may not be getting more than the rest of us did, but as my parents never bothered to discuss these sorts of practicalities, there is the perhaps mistaken impression held by the other siblings that he's getting a free ride when the rest of us worked long hours to pay for our wants and needs

    I'd give them the same amount (adjusted to allow for inflation for the youngest), as there's a good chance that your expenses will be lower by the time he/she goes to university and you could be in a better chance to provide additional help. For example, the eldest shouldn't be a drain on the household budget any more (although there's no telling with the current job market!)

    That said, do explain your reasoning, as your kids are only human and money can be a disruptive influence on family relations unless handled fairly and transparently.
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