Real life MMD: Should youngest get more?

pretzelnut

I would invest it for their futures. I would like to see my children making an effort to pay their own debt back, as it's a good lesson for them to learn that we wont be there all the time to bail them out when things get tight, and they got themselves into that debt, so they need to learn how to get out of it.

I would then (not that I have a penny to my name but I can dream) give them a small amount of cash for a house deposit or car, or to help them start their own business. Once they had proved that they could manage money effectively and not squander it away after we worked so hard to save it.

I know this doesn't help with your own question about who to pay etc, but I don't believe education fee's are the responsibility of the parent, the child chooses to go to uni, it is still a choice, Im a mature student, I wouldn't expect anything from my parents they never went to uni so why should they suffer the cost. I take great pride in the fact that my hard work got me to where I am and my hard work will pay it off.

katieso

I'm a bit unclear on what you mean in "giving" them the money if the debt is from a student loan. Noone is going to be chasing either of them for it (I'm speaking from the experience of having a £13800 student loan debt myself) and as far as I am concerned it is not the kind of debt that hangs over a person. It gets paid back slowly and surely. Yes, it's horrible to think of it being there but it is well managed. So that £9000 won't actually (or necessarily) go to paying that money back. Which makes me think that you should invest in both their futures.

That said, my younger sister is paying triple the fees I paid and having to take out a tuition fee loan to cover them (which I didn't). If my parents were in the position to pay these instead of her taking out the extra loan for these I would not have any issues with this at all because that would be giving us both the same chance. Although I would feel sorry for my parents! After all, in every other circumstance at 18 we are considered independent of our parents!

keet83

Personally i wouldn't pay either, they're both over 18 and i would have trained them how to deal with their finances correctly and how they can deal with debts. However if i did have to give them the £18000 then i would give £4500 to the eldest and £13500 to the youngest, that way i am paying 50% of both of their loans making it much fairer.

hvd201

I would personally give them each an equal proportion of their loans paid off - ie both get 75% of the debt paid off, as then they are on a more equal footing for their futures.
I think it is a wonderful gesture and also a good way to support your children now, rather than the money being taxed when you die. I know that sounds harsh, but it is a much more efficient way to help out your children rather than them having to pay 25% of it (or whatever the sum will be) when you are no longer around.

clairmelville

From the stand point of a graduate with way more debt than I really want to see on the yearly statement from SAAS I would tell parents wanting to pay off student debt to use the money on holidays or something that makes them happy. That should be what matters to your offspring, not the cash you can give them.
The government provides a (admittidly not perfect) way for those from les well off backgrounds to attend university. Yes as a parent you are obliged to contribute during their time at uni, but I think this should be for living costs, and any debt racked up in terms of tuition fees should be paid back when they are earning.
And really I have not thought twice about my 'debt'. It comes off my paypacket before it hits my bank every month, just like tax or NI or pension so I don't even notice the £200 coming off.

DOnt pay them any money, if you really want to give something then what about a family holiday or soemthing.

Rachb2

Don't pay off their tuition fees!

If your children don't get a job that pays a high enough salary they will never have to pay off the blasted things. If they do get a good job then they will have a small amount taken out of their pay each month. Either way the debt collectors are not going to be hammering at anyone's door.

It would be much more sensible (and profitable) to either give them an equal amount of money for a deposit to buy a house...seeing as that's the thing everyone is finding so hard to do now. Or even better invest in a property where their University is (if you can afford to do that), set it up as a house of multiple occupancy and charge their fellow students rent. Imagine a 4 bedroom house, each room generating £300 a month.....if you can set up an interest only mortgage then you can sell the house after they've left uni and you may even have made some extra money.

Having been through University with no financial assistance from my parents...3 times...to get a BSc then an MSc and finally a PhD...it can be done. You will not be helping them by paying their debts for them, they have to learn to make these big decisions themselves. Ever since the tuition fees went up people are having to really think about whether University is right for them....maybe they will want to skip the whole thing and become a property developer...making money from the students!
:j

jagu

The most important thing is that each child believes you are being fair to them. If one resents what you have done, that could cause problems for the rest of your life. There is no objectively "right" thing to do that they will automatically accept. So, ask them. Explain all the factors that you know about and have a discussion. Hopefully, between the two of them, they can agree what is fair. Make sure they understand that once they've agreed of their own free will, there is no discussion in the future if, for example, one earns a lot more than the other.

chrysalis_kat

I would say use the money to put a deposit on a house or flat. By allowing them (and possibly their friends) to rent from you rather than some money grabbing landlord you will save them thousands in the long term as their rent is actually paying off the mortgage. Then you can sell on the property and should still have the lump sum which you can split between them at that future point.

edinburgher

Make sure they understand that once they've agreed of their own free will, there is no discussion in the future

I think that's a very valid point.

My siblings were allowed to live at home rent free as students, but received no help beyond that. 4/5 of us got jobs and generally did very well (although I messed it up a bit by renting privately throughout!)

My youngest sibling, however, lives at home rent free, doesn't work, gets a generous stipend (which he claims to resent) and appears to have whatever he needs bought for him in addition. In the grand scheme of things, he may not be getting more than the rest of us did, but as my parents never bothered to discuss these sorts of practicalities, there is the perhaps mistaken impression held by the other siblings that he's getting a free ride when the rest of us worked long hours to pay for our wants and needs

I'd give them the same amount (adjusted to allow for inflation for the youngest), as there's a good chance that your expenses will be lower by the time he/she goes to university and you could be in a better chance to provide additional help. For example, the eldest shouldn't be a drain on the household budget any more (although there's no telling with the current job market!)

That said, do explain your reasoning, as your kids are only human and money can be a disruptive influence on family relations unless handled fairly and transparently.

JoannaS_3

Just because it's going to cost your youngest child more IF they goes to uni, doesn't mean you should just give both your kids large sums of money!

I went to uni and in the first year there was no tuition fee loan available so my mum and dad had to find the £1500 (I didn't know at the time but they were really hard pushed to find it and it nearly broke them) then the following year I could apply for both the Student loan and the Tuition Fee loan so naturally I did that.

It was my choice to go to university, not my parents, and to be honest I think I would have been better off if I DIDN'T go! I've got £12,000+ worth of debt, am earning £8 an hour with no hope of paying it off anytime soon! If I had left school after A-Levels and gone straight to work, I would probably be earning quite a bit more than £8 an hour and I wouldn't be £15K in debt (still have student overdraft)!

If I were you I wouldn't pay for either of your children through University as from 18 we need to start learning the value of money and be paying our own way...let them pay for uni as you'll be handing over cash whenever they come home and tell you they are broke anyway!

Also it isn't your eldests fault that their time at University was 'cheaper' so the cost is something your youngest child needs to factor in when making that choice. Depending on what they want to do, an apprenticeship might be a more cost effective, enjoyable and beneficial solution!

Good luck making your decision!