My new and MORE DETERMINED diary

saver03

I am feeling really down today so I thought I would write on here and hopefully clear my head a bit.

My friend died on 6th March, she was 25 and it was a complete shock. At first I felt that I couldn't go on as the pain was so bad and I never thought I would ever feel happier. I know I will never forget what happened, or her, but with time it has definately got easier. Sometimes, suddenly, I will remember what has happened and the pain is immense. I hate the idea of never seeing her again or talking to her. I do or hear something that I think she would be interested in but now I can't tell her. I can't ring her for advice anymore and hear the happiness in her voice when she knew it was me calling, "Hi honey," she would say, and then everything would be alright. She was very mature and offered me some great advice over the years. She always said loans and credit cards were a mugs game and she never had any. She said it made it even better buying things if you knew you had paid for then. We often spoke about my reckless spending and debt and she asked how I could enjoy all the things I had bought if I was struggling to pay them off. She always encouraged me to strive to be the best person that I could possibly be and live life to the full, enjoying the journey. I LOVE HER AND MISS HER SO SO MUCH :heartsmil

Her death has made me realise we are only here once and we do have to make the most of that time. I have become more focused at paying off my debt as it just feels like it is holding me back. I need to start planning what I want to do in the long-term and not just continue to drift through unhappily. I think college will help me decide if university is the best option and it will also give me something to focus on and hopefully days like this will become a lot less.

I have actually started to feel better just writing this and having a good cry every so often is not really that bad as it is better than bottling it all up. When I go to the Drs next week I think I will mention counselling to him as it would probably help to talk things over with someone impartial.

Well I must go now as I need to ebay some more. I really must try to get more stuff listed so I think I should set myself a target:
Mini goal
Scedule 50 things to start next Thursday (10th) at 7pm
0/50 :eek:

I WILL STAY FOCUSED AND POSITIVE :money:

saver03

I think it did me some good rambling on before as I got everything out of my system and I feel so much better now :j ok maybe not that good :rotfl:

I have just seen on ebay that there is a 5p listing day on Tuesday so I need to ammend my ebay mini goal. Instead of listing 50 items to start on Thursday I am going to list 50 for Tuesday :eek: I thought I would struggle to do it by Thursday so I will have to work twice as hard to ensure I get them listed on Tuesday!

Mini goal
List 50 things on ebay on Tuesday 8th July
0/50 :mad:

If only I had actually started doing some ebaying before I would have at least made some progress.

warwickroadroad23

Try getting everything ready before Tuesday and even typing up your item descriptions in Word (then cut and paste them onto eBay on Tuesday) and take your photos etc. beforehand so on the day you can whizz through them. Or you could always start some auctions with just the item title and then edit the descriptions in later when you have more time.

saver03

warwickroadroad23 wrote: »

Try getting everything ready before Tuesday and even typing up your item descriptions in Word (then cut and paste them onto eBay on Tuesday) and take your photos etc. beforehand so on the day you can whizz through them. Or you could always start some auctions with just the item title and then edit the descriptions in later when you have more time.

Hi thanks for the advice but I use a site called auctiva which allows you to schedule them on a certain day and time for free. So I will be able to start tomorrow and hopefully I should get 50 on by Tuesday. NO I WILL GET 50 ON BY TUESDAY

warwickroadroad23

Ooh didn't realise there were sites that let you do that, I will definately have to check that one out to save the Tuesday night rush.

:T

saver03

I am not doing to well with my mini goals :mad: so I need to shape myself

Mini goals:
List 50 things on Tuesday 8th June
0/50 :eek:

Spending money for Centre Parcs 22nd September
£320/£1000

Pay off £5000 by 31st December 2008
£0/£5000:mad:

I have not been MSE at all this weekend and I need to really pull my finger out. As you can see I am totally failing at my mini goals and I need to become more focused.

ADVICE IS GREATLY RECEIVED AS I NEED SOME MOTIVATION :money:

monicamj

If you need any advice on funding at university - I work for The Student Loans Company

saver03

I was just updating my signature so I thought I would just try to motivate myself by reading other people's posts and writing in my diary.

I am going to ebay like crazy today as I want to make sure I reach my mini goal of listing 50 things tomorrow, and so far I have done 0 :mad:

I WILL BE A BETTER MiSEr :rotfl:

saver03

I am just not making any progress with my mini goals at the moment :mad: I started off yesterday with the best of intentions and hardly did anything on ebay :mad: I even had to "borrow" so money out of my Centre Parcs savings so I am going backwards now :mad:

I need to get my finger out today as I wanted to list 50 things today and only scheduled 3 yesterday :mad: and there was no good reason for it.

Mini goals:

• 50 things listed on ebay 8th June = 3/50:eek:
• Centre Parcs 22nd September = £280/£1000 :mad:
• Pay off £5000 by 31st December = £500/£5000:T

FEEL FREE TO KICK ME UP THE BACKSIDE I NEED IT :rotfl:

Must dash as loads to do!! And I WILL ebay like a mad woman and I WILL reach my target. Only 47 things to list then!! :eek:

Luckystepho

That's so sad about your friend, it sounds as though she cherished your friendship just as much as you cherished hers. Don't ever feel worried about having a good cry, and seeing a counsellor just to talk things through would be a good idea like you said.
It sounds as though her memory is really motivating you now, which is really positive and I bet she would be really proud of you! xx