Not wanting to Marry

LondonDiva

Marriage to a lot of people signifies a long term commitment and an outward expression of that commitment.

If it's just a piece of paper to you and so important to him as a step on your journey, why not compromise?

Nip down to the town hall & have a registry office wedding - all signed & sealed. Whether you then choose to tell people, wear rings or invite anyone to witness it would be up to you.

Generalising, rather than speaking of the OP, I think people commenting about the expense & fuss of a wedding are usually seeking an excuse not to say that I don't want to marry you / not sure about the relationship / happy as I am and don't want to take it further.

I've helped with church weddigns that cost less than £500 all in - a wedding is as expensive and as big a deal as you make it according to your individual taste.

While committed relationships exist outside marriage, personally, I think that marriage is a sign of ultimate commitment to each other & I don't find it sinister that after a decade of ups and downs and now coming closer, he wants to formally acknowledge your relationship and what it means to him.

The idea of a wedding and your reaction to it may be a sign of other things and the two of you may want to talk about where you are headed (with or without a marriage certificate).

I'd take the really good advice about the wills though, whatever you do.

lauren1983

Hi everyone just thought id pop my thoughts here too.

Licclelisa i dont think you are wired at all. I have no desire to get married at all.

Though saying that if someone gave me a piece of paper and said sign it and you are then married then i would do it happily.
Just hate the thought of all the fuss.

Anyone have any ideas on how i can get married with the least fuss and expense and the least people.Dont even want family there so i do feel like abit of a wierdo .

k1mmie

I'm afraid, I may be considered old fashioned but I agree with LondonDiva. If you love someone and want to be with them then marriage is the ultimate committment and declaration of love.

I think many people make excuses for not wanting to get married, but then you have to ask yourself if this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with?

To me, and this is personal, I am sending out a message to my children that this is what family life is about and being a good role model. In todays society all morality and standards are forgotten and anything goes.

fraz_babe

Instead of getting married. Maybe you could get a blessing ceremony thing? With your friends, and have a little party .. and stuff. Like when people re new there wedding vows, except just express your love for eachother.

Licclelisa

Oh dont get me wrong i love him completely we have been through so much together, it just a personal choice tbh i dont feel the need to get married, i am happy as we are, the kids are happy (they are both of our kids) and not asking why we arent married. I do think marriage is a personal decision. Thank you all for your replies its good to get a mixed bag!!

Paparika

I can see why you don't want to marry him if your relationship has been mainly off.

Stick to your guns and don't get bullied into something you don't want to do