Not wanting to Marry

Licclelisa

Hi all.

I'm not new to the boards but more of a lurker, i'm mum to 2 kids ds aged 8 and dd aged 2.

I have been with my partner on and off (mostly off) for 10 years recently we have gotten very close again alot like when we were first together, he keeps on about getting married, i have no need or want to get married but he doesnt seem to understand this. To me i dont see the point in having a piece of paper to tell someone you love them when you can say/show them everyday without all the expense and fuss of a wedding (my opinion) yet he seems to think because my sisters and brothers are all getting married that i must want to too. He says i'm weird coz i dont want to.

Am i abit weird??? You can be honest lol

melancholly

for some people it's a bit of paper, for others it really matters. and neither position is 'right', it's just what's right for that person. i personally don't think weddings need to be big and expensive and an ordeal to oganise either!!

for long term security, then sometimes marriage is important for legal reasons (e.g. pension entitlements). someone mentioned on a different thread recently, that if you don't want to get married, then you should certainly draw up wills to clarify the situation.

frugallass

Not weird at all - there is nothing wrong with how you feel

whitewing

I'm not so bothered about the wedding but have always wanted to 'be' married (to the right bloke).

Taking the plunge this year with a lovely guy that I have lived with for 5 years (not always as an 'item'). It has changed everything for me, the way I feel etc. It does feel different in a very good way. It hasn't just changed the future, it has changed the present too.

CB1979_2

perhaps you need to partner swap with this poster: lol

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=988879

is he bugging you about it, ie does he want to get married?

i don't see the big deal either to be honest, but each to their own.

i have a joint mortgage with my girlfriend and find that is a bigger "commitment" than a piece of paper and name change, doesn't mean i want to be with her anymore or any less than if i was married or didn't have a mortgage though.

I'm not against marriage or for it to be honest, just don't see why people get in a hissy fit about it.

Mojisola

You don't need all the fuss and expense of a wedding to get married - and it isn't a piece of paper that proves you love each other - but it is useful legally for pensions and inheritance.

dawn2dusk

CB1979 wrote: »

perhaps you need to partner swap with this poster: lol

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=988879

is he bugging you about it, ie does he want to get married?

i don't see the big deal either to be honest, but each to their own.

i have a joint mortgage with my girlfriend and find that is a bigger "commitment" than a piece of paper and name change, doesn't mean i want to be with her anymore or any less than if i was married or didn't have a mortgage though.

I'm not against marriage or for it to be honest, just don't see why people get in a hissy fit about it.

Lol, i think i will stick with the devil that i know.:D

glossgal

Nothing weird about it, everyone is different. What I would say, and I realise this might be unpopular, is that to me if a man is forcing the issue of marriage and/or kids it's a control thing. Maybe I'm warped but I've never been convinced that a fella has the urge for these things, i think there's usually other things driving it. The fact you've been 'mostly off' for the last ten years rings the arm bells even more!

pange

perhaps he is feeling uncerntain about where your future lies if youve been on and off for so long? perhaps he wants to no if you feel fully committed to the relationship

BallandChain

Licclelisa, you are NOT weird! My OH kept pestering me to marry for ages. (We've been together 9 years.) I said no but he kept asking! Now he's given up asking and I can breathe a sigh of relief. Phew!

Buffy_the_Vampire_Bat

I think marriage is a very personal thing...for some people it works, for others it doesn't. I'm happily married, but don't think that you're weird for not wanting to get married!