Would you ask for a loan from family

pukkamum

Probably when my mum has died and i become the grandparents of my kids children and would do anything to make life easier for them all even if that means lending them money.

onlyroz

I have accepted loans off my parents a few times - the first two times to help with buying a car and the third time I borrowed £20K towards the purchase of our house. I've now paid it all back to them. They would (and have) done exactly the same for my brother.

Whether borrowing from family works or not depends entirely on the sort of relationship that you have. There has to be trust that the borrower will keep up a regular payment plan, and will not renage on the deal - thinking that because it's family they can get away with it. On the other hand there has to be trust that the lender will not hold the loan over the heads of the borrower and bring it up during arguments etc.

Hubby says that he was once desparate and borrowed some money off a friend - who then made him feel like the lowest of the low and never made him forget about it. This made him extremely reluctant to borrow any money off my parents, but was much happier once we'd made a formal arrangement for repayment, and set up standing orders etc.

elainew

I wouldnt ask . If they offered then I would accept. Too many friends and family fall out over money (

virgin_moneysaver

it could be a case of them not knowing that you're as in need as much as your sister - in my husbands family they have got it into their heads that we are well off (or loaded as my young nephew once said, who had he overheard!) yet we only take home less than 30K per year between us & we have been lucky in houses that we now live in a very good area with a good sized house with very little mortgage left - but I manage our finances very well - with the help from this site!

it might be worth being more expansive about your actual position

I_know_my_ABC_and_my_CMYK

halia wrote: »

Hi all,

we're trying to buy a house and change lifestyle stuff at the moment. We've had to weather a few difficulties over the past 3 years, me being diagnosed with a lifelong neurological condition, DS having special needs. We've worked hard and have some money to enable us to move but we're resticted by the fact that I can't work at the mo (health) and even once I finish this course of treatment I'll never be able to drive and DS is likely to need me around too so its p/t work for me I guess.

Now my sibling is also trying to buy a house, I don't know if they asked or just got offered it but my parents have said they are lending them the deposit (around £16k)

Over the years parents have lent or given my sibling alot of stuff, car servicing, holiday cash etc etc. I do resent it but I guess thats just the way it is. However a loan of that amount would make a huge difference to us right now. It would mean we could move so that DS can get into the school I want for him (good for SN kids) and let us get a better place. We will be able to pay it back in less than 2 years - its a bridging loan until we sell our house here.

Would you ask?

If your parents are giving money to one of you then that isn't fair but then they can say it's their money to do what they want with. You have nothing to lose by asking, they can only say no, if they do it does seem very un balanced.

Go ahead and ask and good luck with all of it including your health.

oystercatcher

I have borrowed money from my parents in the past and it was actually quite stressful as my mother used to come out with comments like 'you wouldn't be so short of money if you didn't buy chocolate biscuits'. and similar comments aimed to cause guilt. I felt she was trying to control me too much so vowed never to borrow money from them again.

Obviously all families are different but it's worth bearing in mind.
Hope you get your house one way or another.

Oystercatcher

halia

Yeah its the point about them lending £16k to my sibling which bugs me, and the fact that isn't so much for us as it is for DS (their only grandchild) to help get him the support he needs.

I can pay it back in 2-3 years but i can't go into f/t work (or even well paying work) until my medication settles down and DS is settled in school.

Baileys_Babe

We borrowed £15K+ from my parents (plus other family members also leant us money) as a bridging loan when buying this house. When we approched them we let them know how much we wished to borrow, we also insisted that they only loan us what the could afford & they were not to cash any investments that would incurr a penalty, how & when we were going to pay it back, how we proposed to calculate interest. We kept everybody very much in the picture of where we were and made it very clear that them lending the money was helpful not essential (to remove the emotional pressure on them, we could have extended our exsisting mortgage). As soon as we sold our previous house we cleared all our loans to family and friend and thanked them.

Many years ago I borrowed £3K from my Grandma's savings towards my new car. She offered me the money so I could buy something reliable. I made repayments monthly of the agreed amont (even if this meant I had to go with out some things I would of liked) when ever I could I paid of extra.

I have been very lucky to have such a supportive family but I have always ensured that I paid back asap & definatley no later than orginally arranged. My Dads policy is if he lends us the money, we pay him the interest so keep the money is in the family for the benefit of all. When we repaid the money he had leant us for the house, he tried to give us back the interest, we eventually agreed to it being paid grandchildrens sons savings accounts ~ not because he is rich just sentimental :A