Would you ask for a loan from family

halia

Hi all,

we're trying to buy a house and change lifestyle stuff at the moment. We've had to weather a few difficulties over the past 3 years, me being diagnosed with a lifelong neurological condition, DS having special needs. We've worked hard and have some money to enable us to move but we're resticted by the fact that I can't work at the mo (health) and even once I finish this course of treatment I'll never be able to drive and DS is likely to need me around too so its p/t work for me I guess.

Now my sibling is also trying to buy a house, I don't know if they asked or just got offered it but my parents have said they are lending them the deposit (around £16k)

Over the years parents have lent or given my sibling alot of stuff, car servicing, holiday cash etc etc. I do resent it but I guess thats just the way it is. However a loan of that amount would make a huge difference to us right now. It would mean we could move so that DS can get into the school I want for him (good for SN kids) and let us get a better place. We will be able to pay it back in less than 2 years - its a bridging loan until we sell our house here.

Would you ask?

vanilla

I would ask...
If you don't ask you don't get, the worst they can say is no.
Go for it especially if it's gonna make such a difference.
Good Luck whatever you decide.

Nixxx

I must say that i have just been in a similar situation with by siblings. The other two got money because they asked and i never did (nor did i even see it as an option). They may not have it to give you so be prepared for that especially if your sibling got in there first.

Good luck

Nixxx

THE_LONE_RANGER_4

no not from family or friends it will end in tears .

CB1979_2

if a proper arrangement is made and stuck to.

then i don't see why not.

I got a mate a £10k loan in my name for him cos he had bad credit from uni and was sending money home to his mum & sister each month (no dad was suuporting them).

i got that 3 years back and has been paid back every month without fail and have 2 years remaining, i have no issues with it as i've known him 16 years (not bad considering i'm 28! lol).

comes down to if you can guarantee that you'll pay back each month.

the other alternative is ask it as inheritance, my parents gave me £10k when i was 18 (invested it then bought a house when i went to uni) as they said they'd rather see me enjoy the money when i needed it now rather than when they were dead and i theoretically didn't need it as i'd be in my 50s/60s hopefully when the kick the bucket.

Mips

If your parents can afford it and you can guarantee you pay it back in two years, which is a relatively short time, then you could put it to them.

However, don't get your hopes up and prepare for the fact they may not have it now they lent it to your sister.

virgin_moneysaver

my lovely ma & pa have always treated us the same, admittedly not to the tune of £16k but if they've given one of us a couple of hundred quid the other 2 get the same, & theres always money to borrow if we need to, which we've all utilised at some point but paid back - my mum don't want us to pay huge interest when she's says the money will all come to us eventually

but £16k is a lot but really all kids should be treated the same- they may not have it to give you even if they wanted to

my younger sister gets odds & sods more as my mum spends money on mine & my bro's children & she feels that evens things up a little which I fully understand - even I give her a little more at Xmas & birthdays as she's single & I buy for my brother & his family

as one of the previous posters we set up a standing order to mums account & repay the funds that way so theres no case of 'forgetting' or 'can you wait till I get paid'

viktory

My Mum & Dad are generosity personified and have lent me loads of money over the years, not to mention seriously generous presents for Christmas & Birthday (example, they have just bought me an Omega watch worth £1,800 for Christmas - partly thanks to Mr Tesco and his generous points scheme ). They have also helped my siblings when needed and treat us fairly, so yes, if I needed the money I would ask. However, I wouldn't get upset or hurt if they said no, I would consider it their prerogative.

Perhaps, OP, your parents don't realise that you need or would appreciate their help?

claire1234

hiya,

i can relate to yourself;
my sister has been bought everything from ghd strighteners to a new car to a plasma tv to laptop,
she has everything, she lives with my mum and everyday my mum gives her £10 (this is each day!!) for a taxi to work and some lunch,
my sister gives nothing to my mum infact she is a pure madam and even asks for more, she is 18 now and getting worse each day, her mobile phone bill is around £300 per month and my mum pays this plus eye contacts plus clothing and anything else she wants.

when i was 16 my pocket money stopped and i got nothing at all from my parents, b`day & xmas im lucky to get some nice perfume.
i know i have moved out and am a few years older but it really annoys me i mean my sister gets all of this and ive never had anything off either parents then my mam will ring up and complain about how skint she is and she cant afford anything,

so no personally i woudnt ask from my parents, you have to think of your situaltion and if they will throw it back in your face, this year i will be refusing to accept anything for my birthday from them as they will only go on about how skint they are afterwards.

if your parents are the understanding type then yes ask.

belfastgirl23

I wouldn't ask but I'd hint and see if it was offered.

halia

thanks for the posts, I hinted this week but got very little suggestion that they would be willing to help out. I don't think I can ask outright as that would be likely to upset them. I think they see me as the mature and independant sibling and so I dont' get extra help.
I know 16k is alot, tbh anyting would be a help, we're negotiating on a house on the market for 20% above our maximum mortgage. We can squeeze an additional 3k from savings but obviuosly anything family could lend us would make it more likely we'd get the house.

I think we'll just have to try and save more (tesco value, no TV, no car, and no holidays already!) and not be too !!!!ed off at my sibling getting a 16k loan to buy a nice 3bed semi.