wits end

Runnybabbit

OMG, this is dreadful it makes my blood boil - I gasped when I read your thread, I have since spoken to a good friend who is a Police Officer, he strongly advises that you see them as soon as possible, you may have to 'dish the dirt' on yourself, but its better than that scumbag dishing it for you. Blackmail is serious and the Police need to know about it. I wish you loads of luck hun, keep posting here so we know you are OK. x

completelyspent

Hello,
Firstly wanted to say that I am sorry to hear about your situation and I'm glad you've posted - you must have been struggling so much with this.
This is about power and control - once the 'power' has been taken from him he'll have nowhere to go. I completely agree with Runnybabbit about going to the police.
Please let us know how you are getting on whatever you decide to do-there are lovely supportive non-judgemental people here who want to help.

Runnybabbit

Just a quick update for you - Police friend just phoned back - this is a CID issue and they will look into each case as they find it - he mentioned that because "sexual gain" has been suggested by this man, then this would be a different offence from Blackmail. There is also harrassment to be considered in this case - so please, hun, pick up the phone, call your local cop shop, remain annon if you need to, we'll back you all the way. x

tuggy

Would your family and partner believe him if he dished the dirt? or could you deny everything and this guy would just look like a weird stalker guy claiming lies about you?

kizzykizzywizzy

Is the dirt so bad?? It's in the past whatever it is, so surely this doesn't really have anything to do with your partner, I'm sure he has a past too.
With friends like this one who needs them?
I'd go to the Police, what a nasty piece of work he is

chimp_choker

Could I just say that all men are not like this. I know it's hard at the moment but there are some of us that will be here to offer support to you.

You will have to decide if the "dirt" is worth the pain. If it was my wife telling me "the dirt" I'd go apeshit and probably beat the crap out of her to be honest. Having said that I'd then go round to the creeps house and "have a little word with him" for blackmailing my wife.

If it's not worth that pain then I'm sure you know some men who could have a little word and put the fear of god into him.

As for the debts, if you have no security to lose then it might be an idea to go bancrupkt and then start again.

Thoughts are with you.

Chimpy.

madmalteaser

Missminkles, what a horrible situation you are in.

As someone who has got herself into a world of debt and kept the entire thing to herself for a long time I can understand, in part, how you must be feeling. But as for this creeps behaviour I have to say I agree with everyone else on this board. You must get control of this situation and the only way you can do that is to tell your partner and family before he does.

I'm sure that idea seems absolutely mortifying but, if they're likely to find out in the long run, it will sound a lot better coming from you and while they may be angry/upset/hurt initially, they will realise eventually how brave you have been to tell them and I'm sure they would do everything they can to help you. People make mistakes but family will always stick by family, in my experience.

Please don't suffer alone with this anymore, it seems like too much for one person to take and you definitely need some support with this. I hope you find the strength to speak up because, in the long run, it will be the best thing you can do in the circumstances.

Good luck xxx

MrsTinks

chimp_choker wrote: »

If it was my wife telling me "the dirt" I'd go apeshit and probably beat the crap out of her to be honest.

I sincerely hope not! What on earth would violence solve in ANY situation? Beating anyone up is not only illegal but morally repugnant! :mad:

sophie27

Just wanted to add my support too. I have been in a situation where I was threatened with 'dirt' and it all came out from someone else. Its always better to come from you as you get a chance to put your side and explain?

Alternatively as previously said, could you front it out and deny all knowledge?

Keep posting, everyone is really lovely here and always quick to offer advice, support and virtual hugs.

LilacPixie

I would be severly tempted to deny all knowledge of the 'debt' inform police of this Creeps actions then tell familly that Creep is trying to blackmail you by threatening to tell them that you did x y or z unless you sleep with him/give him cash etc etc.