Help, need a career change. Any Ideas?

hex2

I used to loathe my job. I did two things about it -
I changed my attitude - change your job or change your job as my boss siad. I was really angry at the time but thought about it later and realised she was right. In the short term changing my attitude to the problems at work made it bearable whilst I looked for something else to do. I was so obsessive about being unhappy that I couldnt see the positives any more. I used to go home and rant about it too which must have been hard for my OH to cope with.
I got myself a mentor - someone for whom I have personal and professional respect. I took her advice on how to change my work and career. She understood what I did on a day to day basis and knew when I was being realistic about my problems in a way that the best and kindest OH in the world couldn't.

Both helped me to cope in the short run until I decided what to do.

Hope this helps - good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Bargain_Rzl

This is the first time I've looked at this thread but there's soooo much here that I can relate to!

I've been with the same company for 5 years (permanent for 4.5) and was deadly bored in my job. I also felt I was chronically underpaid - I went for an interview for a similar job in a similar (borderline public/private sector) company which was offering up to £32k, and I'd been doing the job for £23k. I had lobbied my boss for a pay rise several times with no luck.

Eventually I applied for an internal vacancy which I did not get. The director of my section called me into his office and said there was a vacancy opening up which he thought I would be suitable for. I said yes, on the basis that I HAD to have a change from the job I'd been doing and get some new things on my CV (it was my first proper job after university). In the absence of a better option, I went for it even though the pay was still lower than I would have liked (it was calculated as a 10% increase in responsibility from previous job, with a salary to match, even though it was well known that I didn't think my previous salary was adequate!)

To cut a long story short, six months later I'm working on a drastically understaffed (well, it would be overstaffed if it wasn't for the bureaucracy!) project, for a boss who is rude and disrespectful, my hours have increased by twice as much as my salary has (I was here until 11pm the other night finishing a report), virtually every day I leave the office in tears thinking "I HATE MY JOB!" and it's tacitly expected that I will work until at least 6:30 (giving me a minimum 9 hour day and therefore a minimum 45 hour week, on a 37 hour contract which specifies the need for "occasional" flexibility). I get snide remarks or looks of surprise if I try to leave on time, and whenever I apply for a day's leave my boss goes through the calendar with a fine toothed comb to see whether it suits her or not. I dream about work, and worry about it at weekends. I'm my boss's only direct employee but the rest of the team and in fact the company agree that she is a nightmare!

I'm not sure whether to hand in my notice now (there's a small company-wide bonus due in Feb, and the project hasn't actually achieved anything big yet so I will have nothing substantially new on my CV for the next couple of months) or to stick it out for a while. The trouble is that at the moment I don't have any motivation or self-confidence to look for anything new, never mind finding the time when I don't get home until at least 8pm every day!

I do at least have the reassurance of knowing that I have enough savings to live on for 6 months if necessary, but for various reasons I don't want to dip into this.

Alternatively we could all get made redundant The company and my project are both in a bad way at the moment...

Savvy_Sue

Bargain_Rzl wrote:

I'm my boss's only direct employee but the rest of the team and in fact the company agree that she is a nightmare!

So have you talked to HR and made a formal complaint? You're going to make yourself ill at this rate, which won't help anyone. Sounds like your boss is bullying - HR should tackle it, not let it slide. And there's a bullying at work website someone - anyone know where?

Justjules_3

Sorry to hear you hate your job.

How about undertaking some vocational training. You could do an NVQ whilst your working eg management and then once you have got it move, or use your experience to train others.

Local colleges/training providers will often pay for you to do an adult teaching course if you will work for them and have skills in an area they are trying to recruit lecturers/trainers in.

You could also become an NVQ assessor if you have the right amount of experience in a particular field that recognises/supports NVQ qualifications.

I find that the hours can be flexible/negotiated so it fits in with childcare and its very fulfilling as you are using your experience to help others, therefore not losing the wealth of experience you have gained or having to totally retrain.

And this can all be done in the workplace without losing money from taking time off or starting again from scratch in a new field.

I'm very lucky, I love my job.

Luis

I have had the week from hell at work. I am going to have to do something, and fast - this is making me ill. I have started looking into stuff, but might just chuck it anyway, and live off my savings for a bit til I get my head straight.
Much sympathy for everyone in the same boat.

flossy_splodge

In response to a couple of times this question has been raised I personally really rate Life coaching but then I would, I AM one!
However I also use a coach for myself if I feel 'stuck'. Had a session just this week and I find it works for me.
Charges vary enormously as does the quality of the coaching! However that's just like everything else in life it seems - if you start with a dentist you don't like you go to another until one suits you. Only point I would make is that a very important function of a life coach IS to challenge you. It's not a cosy chat and I hope you wouldn't want it to be - after all, you're paying!
PM me if you want any more info on how the process works but DO something. As others have said life is too short to go on being miserable. Best of luck but it's not really down to luck, it's down to you! x

Liz19

Luis wrote:

I have had the week from hell at work. I am going to have to do something, and fast - this is making me ill. I have started looking into stuff, but might just chuck it anyway, and live off my savings for a bit til I get my head straight.
Much sympathy for everyone in the same boat.

My husband feels the same as you. He has worked for the same company for 23 years and for the last 10 he has not been happy. This weekend he said that he wants to chuck it all in and go to university but he doesn't know what he wants to do there. I understand how he feels and wish it were not so but I am also panicking like crazy. I am a stay at home mum and have been for 14 years, which was a joint decision, and we have 2 children, 13 and 11. He wants me to get a job which is something we had talked about but instead of something part-time to fit in with the family he wants me to get a full-time job so that he can leave his. He earns around £40,000 and there is no way that I would be able to get a job earning that much. I just don't know what to do. Where do I start to get a handle on this situation? It is a nightmare.

nearlyrich

Liz19 wrote:

My husband feels the same as you. He has worked for the same company for 23 years and for the last 10 he has not been happy. This weekend he said that he wants to chuck it all in and go to university but he doesn't know what he wants to do there. I understand how he feels and wish it were not so but I am also panicking like crazy. I am a stay at home mum and have been for 14 years, which was a joint decision, and we have 2 children, 13 and 11. He wants me to get a job which is something we had talked about but instead of something part-time to fit in with the family he wants me to get a full-time job so that he can leave his. He earns around £40,000 and there is no way that I would be able to get a job earning that much. I just don't know what to do. Where do I start to get a handle on this situation? It is a nightmare.

I think you need to start with a budget, work out how much you will get as a family in student loans and Child benefit, tax credits etc.. then look realistically at what qualifications you have, what kind of jobs you could apply for, how much you can earn.

Both you and you OH need to work out what you are prepared to give up to let him give up a £40k salary for a student loan.

bobsa1

I've just caught up with this thread and I had no idea so many people hated their jobs. I always used to think that if you were well paid you could just shrug your shoulders at the problems and think at least I earn a decent salary.

Obviously this isn't the case as we are all now finding out!!

I've sat down with other half and we are looking at were we want to be in two years and what we can or can't give up.

It appears as though the only thing we want to keep the same is the childrens school!!

Everything else is up for grabs and in a way this makes me feel better, yet is very scary.

Flossy-splodge expect a pm!

Savvy_Sue

Liz19 wrote:

My husband feels the same as you. He has worked for the same company for 23 years and for the last 10 he has not been happy. This weekend he said that he wants to chuck it all in and go to university but he doesn't know what he wants to do there. I understand how he feels and wish it were not so but I am also panicking like crazy. I am a stay at home mum and have been for 14 years, which was a joint decision, and we have 2 children, 13 and 11. He wants me to get a job which is something we had talked about but instead of something part-time to fit in with the family he wants me to get a full-time job so that he can leave his. He earns around £40,000 and there is no way that I would be able to get a job earning that much. I just don't know what to do. Where do I start to get a handle on this situation? It is a nightmare.

I agree with nearlyrich, but I'd also make sure to sit down and talk to OH. While you want to be supportive, he needs a plan - what to do at uni, and what to do after uni. Also together and with the children as well you need to work out what sacrifices you're all prepared to make to allow this to happen. After a reality check on that level he may not be so ready to jack it all in - and if he is, then at least he's doing it with his eyes open!

You, meanwhile, might want to see what's on offer through your local adult education service. There may be day courses, or there may be courses starting in January, which would help equip you for the workplace and / or boost your confidence! Anyone who's been a mum for 13 years has valuable skills in diplomacy, time management and people management, not to mention budgeting and project planning!