Any advice on my problem

Cacran

My daughter is sharing a flat with a guy who is unsavoury. She wants out.
She earns £900 month and wants a flat on her own. there seems to be nothing under £400 a month. Would she be able to claim any financial help towards the rent from the government if she happened to be off sick as she does not get sick pay. She has not got any children, is a nursery nurse and is doing an open uni degree course. She is in danger ,being with this guy, but has lived away from us for a long time ,and her work is such long distance from us, she feels she would get depressed here, and may fall intothe same trap of either going back to him or rushing into another relationship. She has a credit card debt of £10,000 which he owes her as he was so maxed up on his, he used her cards. He is supposed to be paying it back but I can't see it happening. She is all messed up in her head and needs some space to sort things out.

floss2

Take a look on https://www.entitledto.co.uk

pennypinchingmum

big hugs cacran. Must be very difficukt for you and your daughter at the mo. My sister was in a similar situation though no where near as severe. I would advice your daughter got some advice from a counselling service or womans refuge.
On a more practical level there are flats our there for 400 and less, but you would have to go directly to the rental agents as they very rarely get to the paper. It depends on her age as to whether she will get much help in benefits.
Also rental prices are very rarely fixed and can be negotiated by 25-50 pound less each month. Particularly if she pays a few months in advance.
Hope this helps.

bestpud

I would recommend she contact her local womens refuge too.

If she is in danger then it is perhaps best she gets advice about keeping her new details from her ex, if nothing else. They will advise on all sorts as well though (including benefits), and may be able to offer her a room while she gets her head together too.

Other than that, the CAB should be able to help.

Feanor

What about sharing a house/flat with other young people?
This would usually be alot less to pay and all the bills are shared too and it would also be good for her to be around poeple her age and to meet new people?

I dont think she would get anything from the government if she were off sick, as in a cold or flu...unless something serious wrong with her and she can't work for a long period of time. I may be wrong though.

x

CB1979_2

my biggest concern is writing off that £10k debt! ouch

he ain't gonna pay that, that's for sure.

get her out of there, anywhere is better than there

Cacran

Thankyou for all your replies. If only my daughter wasn't so negative!!! Everything I suggest falls flat. She has it in her head that she just wants a nice flat all to herself, she split with him before and shared with a girl who made a right old mess of the place. She was constantly in fear of losing her bond, all her nice furniture was damaged, too. I just want her to come home but she will not do so. All her friends are either settled in a place or in a relationship, to hook up with a relative stranger, which she did before, didn't work. I think she wants to stand on her own two feet and have some peace to sort out her head and her life. It doesn't matter what I say to her, she just poo,poos all my suggestions. I should step back but all I want to do is protect her. This guy is an only child of professional parents. they know what he does but don't seem to dare to put him right. They have the means to loan him the money to pay my daughter back, but they say they did it with his last girlfriend and will not do it again. It's a pity they couldn't have warned us....

Savvy_Sue

If your daughter is under 25, do you have a Foyer in your area?

Also there would perhaps be more 'youth' options if she tried to get local council or housing association accommodation.

However, whatever age she is, she's got to make her own decisions. You can't protect her, you can't get her away from him, she will only leave him when SHE has had enough. Unfortunately that may make some time. Letting her know you are there for her, encouraging her to contact Women's Aid, making sure she knows she has options - that's about the best you can do.

Oldernotwiser

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

If your daughter is under 25, do you have a Foyer in your area?

Foyers are excellent but not usually a suitable option for a person who's working as their charges are so high. It also doesn't sound as if the OP's daughter is a typical foyer resident, needing the extra support they offer.

Cacran, do you think that your daughter might have any interest in switching from the OU to a "bricks and mortar" university. She wouldn't be too late to apply this year and it would take her to a new location where she could make new friends and really feel that she would be making a fresh start. Obviously she may have already rejected this idea but her changed circumstances may lead her to reconsider it.

Alternatively, would she consider a live in post (in the UK or abroad) as a nanny? If she's a qualified nursery nurse she could almost name her price and continue with the OU as well. She must make her own mind up about things but something adventurous like this might help her to move on. Just moving into fresh accommodation may be desirable but could seem dull and depressing to her. Encourage her to do some brainstorming about things that she really wants to do and achieve.

Chollita

I hope your daughter is safe.

As regards sharing, sometimes it's a necessary evil. Try being in my part of Spain, where renting a flat can mean paying out 5000€ or more for advance rent, bond, agency fees :eek: so most people are still sharing, even in their 30s.

Cacran

Thanks for that Older not wiser. Funny I was thinking along those lines last night, too. I'd never thought of it in the past. I am going to approach her about it, not so sure it will go down too well though as most things I suggest don't. That's kids for you. She is 24 though and should have grown up....
I have never heard of Foyer but will look it up, maybe, as you said, it may not be any use to her.

Oh Chollita, didn't know it was like that in Spain, so we should worry eh!!!

Thanks to all replies.