Is There Any Hope?????

daisychain80

Where do i start

Got my first star today:j (it feels like am part of this now) this has prompted me to ask for help/support/ advice from you great peeps

Today feels like the worst day of my life.
1) im trying to do SOA but cry every time i see it-cant snowball-big securded loan.

2) I get made redundant on mon still havn't found another job - been to a few interviews but didn't get them-so de motivated by this.

3) dont have much family to turn to, me and mum fell out 6 yrs ago and havnt spoke since and it seems to be really gettin to me of late

4) my other half works away for 2 weeks at a time so this leaves me very lonley

5)theres a strong possability i could be pregnant-im on the contraceptive pill BUT was on antibiotics last month and wasnt told till after it could effect it


this is just the tip of the ice berg im cryin whilst typing this ....so please be gentle with me!

any help would be appreciatedxxxx

kazmeister

Hi daisy

You've made a huge start by posting on here, and there are some seriously brilliant people on here who will give you some practical advice in a while. All I can do for now is offer a big hug and say that I've been in despair over money problems and family issues but have come out the other side. You will too.

Try and find the courage to post you SOA and you will get the help you need.

Good luck x

OberonSH

Get a cup of tea love, and calm down. It's okay.

The SOA can wait until tomorrow, if it's that upsetting, but no longer than that. Whatever numbers you come up with, we can help you get it down. It's better to know than to guess and have a nasty surprise.

I know how you feel family-wise - I get married next month, and I have the grand total of 4 coming from my family - one of which is my aunt's husband's mother - and my mother is the original ice queen. It's tough, but have you got a friend you can chat to? There's always us.....:)

Keep trying with the jobs - you'll get no joy then suddenly they'll be flinging them at you! Have you tried the jobcentre? They may be able to help. You could try local pubs - not only bring money in, but will also help you get out and socialise. I had a job in a rock club once - paid peanuts but met some great people. Helped me through a very lonely time.

As for pregnancy best to get a test and know for sure than worry.

We're all here love, you rant away. It's a hard lonely road, but don't cry - it's all on the up from here in. Soon you'll be cackling over each penny saved.

Lorne

Hi Daisy,

congratulations on your first star!

I'm sorry that your situation is upsetting you, you are certainly in the right place, so many of us have been on here very upset when discovering our light bulb moments. I also have an other half who works away, needs to for our debt free journey, so I can relate to its difficulties. We are very focused on our goal of paying off our debts and that really helps us get through it, we also keep busy, that definitely helps.

When you feel able, post your SOA on here, you'll get lots of practical advice to help you manage.

Well done for posting and good luck with your job hunting, Lorna x

MrsTinks

First off - I think you might be long enough after potential blip to have a pregnancy test - I'd advise that you go and buy one and find out where you stand If you're not pregnant then great! If you're pregnant then possibly great too I fell pregnant many years ago whilst on the pill (no antibiotics just one of the 2% in the "it's only 98% effective" scenarions...) but only found out when I miscarried early on.

If it happens then you need to talk to OH obviously and decide what you want to do.

Jobs... Don't let not getting a job you've been interviewed for get you down - Have you tried looking for temp work to tie you over? Also great for getting you out there I did temping when I was looking for a permanent job and they offered me a really good job in a totally different department which I would have taken if I hadn't been offered my current job which pays a heck of a lot more! (Also multiply the stress level accordingly *sigh*)
Make sure you get down to the job centre to register for job seekers allowance and check if any of your loans/mortgage have payment protection on them or if you have any protection through a work policy (I get one for free through work but it's the first time I've ever had one so I know they're not standard)

Chin up and post that SOA... a problem shared...

daisychain80

thankyou so much from your replies (still tryin to stop cryin), i dont really have anyone that i can open up to to be honest -how sad is that not even oh sometimes hes so laid back its untrue .

the job thing is really getting to me, i have looked at all types of jobs but get £24k at the mo and REALLY can't afford a paycut and there just seems to be none i work in finance/banking so its even harder right now.

on the pregnancy side im 5 days late this happpend once before in the last 2 yrs so im really hoping its a false alarm, as much as i adore children i cant afford one and my worst nightmare would be to bring a child up how i was (im not but my mum was a alcaholic and drug user and left me with a £20 note in our council house and moved in with her fella when i was 14!!!) my childhood was ALL horrendus but im finding my self typing about it but would never dream of speaking to anyone ...sorry to rant and put you all out but im in an extremley dark place right now x

OberonSH

Oh hun, you're fine - you unburden as much as you like. Sometimes strangers are easier to talk to.

Yur childhood was horrible, but you can break the cycle, if there is a little Daisy. I was in care, my father was a bit - heavy handed - and my mum had a drink problem as well, so can sympathise but there's no ways I would hurt my kids, and I get paranoid after 1 glass of red! It won;t be like that for your kids - I'm assuming you're not following in their footsteps.

Don't get yourself worked up, get a test and find out for sure. obswise, wh not consider a part time or bar job as a stopgap - yes it's not 24k, but it's something.

Have you tried showing your cv to other people and seeing if there's anything you can tweak, or doing practice interviews with them? Think about questions you might be asked and think about answers to them, that way you'll not be caught on the hop; Get that CV out there!

And never forget - You Rock. You do. You've spotted a problem, and are taking steps to correct it. That takes guts and you should be proud of yourself.

OberonSH

Pus - have you had a word with your work? Do they have a HR department that can help find another job? Have a word with manager and see if there's anything coming up internally you could apply for.

DEBT_23

i understand about dark im 23 18K of a unsecured debt and a 10k secured loan. i fell out with my dad and we dont speak,mum walked out when i was 8 months old and no-one in my life knows about my debt. im trying so hard at the moment with the help of people on here to find the best route of clearing my 18k debt i defaulted on nearly 5 years ago.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE. there is always someone worse off from you..and that is sooooo true.
Welcome to the site x
there is a solution for you . once your have spoken to someone from CCCS or CAB you WILL feel better.
Someone with more wisdom and experiance will reply shortly.

10past6

Hello daisy

This is no way meant to be disrespectful, but meant to help you,some of us have been through horrendous times during our childhood, yet although psychologically scarred, we've come through it.

I think what you should try and do is separate all the issues troubling you right now, for example, is it your debts, is it having no support, is it the fact you maybe pregnant, is it your childhood, I speak from personal experience, when one is really down, it's difficult to analyse issues as they all become mixed up in the same stew pot, separating the issues will and does help.

theunknownstuntman

Hello lovely. I'm not great on the advice, but big hugs for you. You unburden on here any time you want. The folk on here are great and will help.

You're not alone ok? We're a great big friendly family, and you've got us now.
Chin up.