Mortgage after relationship split

magoo121

Hi,
I recently got dumped by my girlfriend of 11 years, we bought a house 4 years ago, which we are both still living in...not ideal.
She seems to be getting along just fine staying out all night etc, i'm prety sure she is seeing someone already.
Cut to the chase, i really want out of the house but i know she can't afford the mortgage (which is both names), and i can't afford to continue paying the mortgage and move out.
I just want to know the best way of getting out of the mortgage quickly so that i can afford to move out.
thanks

DaisyFlower

If she cant afford to buy you out you'll need to sell the house. Dont expect to do it quickly though as it can take a while in todays climate.

magoo121

that's what i was afriad of.

MortgageMamma

Have you thought of renting out the house until you can sell it? It might not cover all the mortgage costs but a good bulk of it could be covered. Its difficult to sell at the moment, the market is bad and there are predictions of a 30-50% house price reduction. If you are going to try and sell do it now. Otherwise your only options are to rent it, continue living together in it, or to let it get resposessed (believe me, you don't want that its bad news for your credit status for years to come). If you want to talk things through please keep posting, giving more details of your circumstances.

pinkshoes

Renting might not be a good idea in this situation, as you'll want to cut all financial (and other) ties with her ASAP.

How much is the house "worth", and how much equity do you have in it? It might be an idea to put it on at a very competitive price to ensure it sells ASAP.

squidge60

no advice just hope you sort it and can move on x

newcook

hugs to you xx I am in (or rather was) the exact same position. we lived together but apart for a couple of months while we were selling the house. a couple of weeks ago I realised that I couldnt continue like this so have had to borrow some money from my mom to rent somewhere. I still pay towards the mortgage though we should hopefully be exchanging/completing in the next 2 weeks - well, we'd better, we accepted the offer 3 months ago!!!

unfortunately it is a long process (our sale has no chain either side) you will have to accept that she has moved on and you will have to do the same. you are now just flat/house mates.

magoo121

wow thanks for all the advice and well wishes, i've not been on the forum for a week then just checked it now...what a bunch of nice people!
I've now got somewhere to move out to that i can afford so i think that will ease the tention quite a bit and probably help my mental state as it's not too good at the moment.
i have an apointment with a mortgage adviser next week to discuss options, the house is worth about £125,000 and there's about £10,000 equity in it, i know she can't buy me out and i'm pretty sure she won't get a mortgage on her own as she only works part time, i don't want her to lose the house but i'll be damned if i'm going to continue paying for it! the only way i can see her keeping the house and me 'walking away' with my credit raiting intact is if a family member helps her out with the morgage, i have spoke to her about this and she won't entertain the idea at all, do you think it's worth me aproching the family member myself and explaining the situation to him as i'm pretty sure he doesn't know the full story, otherwise we will just have to sell the house and all the trouble that goes with it.
Once again thanks for all your help.

Magoo.

galvanizersbaby

magoo121 wrote: »

wow thanks for all the advice and well wishes, i've not been on the forum for a week then just checked it now...what a bunch of nice people!
I've now got somewhere to move out to that i can afford so i think that will ease the tention quite a bit and probably help my mental state as it's not too good at the moment.
i have an apointment with a mortgage adviser next week to discuss options, the house is worth about £125,000 and there's about £10,000 equity in it, i know she can't buy me out and i'm pretty sure she won't get a mortgage on her own as she only works part time, i don't want her to lose the house but i'll be damned if i'm going to continue paying for it! the only way i can see her keeping the house and me 'walking away' with my credit raiting intact is if a family member helps her out with the morgage, i have spoke to her about this and she won't entertain the idea at all, do you think it's worth me aproching the family member myself and explaining the situation to him as i'm pretty sure he doesn't know the full story, otherwise we will just have to sell the house and all the trouble that goes with it.
Once again thanks for all your help.

Magoo.

Hi Magoo
Just read your post - what a rubbish situation, how upsetting, i do feel for you:eek: was in exact same situ myself 10 tens ago but can remember it only too well - was lucky in that the market was good and we managed to sell the house and walk away with a lump of cash each but in the interim I had to move in to mum's as it was becoming too difficult to live together!
You don't say in your post whether you could afford to buy your girlfriend out of the house? - if you could this could be the best option if she is agreeable.
If she/or a relative can't afford to buy out your share of the property then she's not going to be able to keep the house is she?! - at the risk of upsetting the applecart I would sit down with her and present her with the available options (sounds like you may have already done this)
I don't think you should approach her family member at this stage.
Has she got anywhere else she could go to live seeing as she's the one that's ended your relationship?

magoo121

i don't really want the house, although i could buy her out, the upkeep bills etc would cripple me financially, and with the housing market being like it is i don't really want to be left with a property full of memories thats not worth what i paid for it. i know i'm letting my heart rule my brain a bit on this one (which isn't actually like me) but i just need to get out of the house. i'll not aproach the family member and see what happens with the mortgage meeting next week.

CB1979_2

it's a very simple situation.

give her a month to come up with a solution that involves you getting off the mortgage otherwise you're selling it.

i certainly wouldn't be subsidising an ex to live somewhere!

also i'd forgoe my credit rating if needed, if she refuses to move/get you off the mortgage, i'd simply stop paying towards all bills until she was forced to move out.