Marriage

Shawz

Well, Woby_Tide, you make some interesting comments.

If you were to wager your money I'm afraid you would have lost, as you were slightly out with your assumptions.
Before we got married I lived 180 miles away from my wife.
You say that the Church is an outdated institution.
Sadly for many people it is, but not for all.

I take on board your other points but don't agree with all of them.

trafalgar_2

I'm with you Shawz but then I've been called old-fashioned too ;D

No living together before marriage and I did it twice ;D

Good luck to you and your wife

Shawz

Thanks Trafalgar

filigree_2

Being unmarried doesn't prevent nasty financial punch-ups when you break up. You still have to thrash out who gets the property, savings etc. One unmarried couple even went to court to sort out access to the damn dog!

Back to the tax thing - if one spouse isn't working, they might be eligible for Tax Credits, depending on the wage-earner's income.

Trix

Call me "Old Fashioned" if you like but i totally disagree with couples living together before they get married  >:(

Whats wrong with getting married instead of living together.

I've been married for just over a year now and although our first year of marriage has been very tough, we are much happier being married instead of living together. Marriage shows a real commitment to each other. When you are just living together, one of you could just walk away if things got tough.

I have no problem with you not agreeing with it for yourself but what is your reason for disagreeing with it for others? (AND with an angry emoticon!)

As you ask 'what's wrong with getting married before living together' (cost of a wedding - I'd rather spend my cash in other ways / not seeing why I need to / hate being centre of attention) I'll ask 'What's wrong with living together before getting married and come to think of it INSTEAD of getting married?

How do you know you're happier being married instead of living together if you haven't done it?
When kids and mortgages are concerned you can't just 'walk away if things got tough' and if you really loved each other you'd work through it married or not, kids and mortgage or not. I'm sure if you're that sort of person you'd walk out if things get tough no matter what your situation (which is why there is so much divorce)

My 'partner' and I have been together almost twelve years, have two children (one is disabled which many marriages can't even survive the pressure of) and a mortgage. We have had only a few rough times which we went to Relate to help us through the first time then worked things out ourselves the rest. He is my best friend and we're still in love (okay everyone go be sick now ) REALLY can't see why marriage will change that.

We're together through choice not because 'we can't just walk away because we're married'. It's actually more of a commitment if you use your reasoning - we're free to go during hard times but choose not to because of our love and personal commitment - not because of a legal commitment.

Good luck in your marriage though . I believe in marriage for everyone that believes in it themselves and would never expect anyone who does believe in it to try living together instead. Each to their own and stand up for what you believe in but don't put down other peoples choices is what I say!

As for the original post - Tax Credits are the only thing I know about which can be claimed if at least one partner is working a minimum of 16 hours per week. Might be better asking on the benefits board. Then again I've just looked at the date of the original post and it was seven months ago ::)
Ah well - someone might have the same burning question

Shawz

Well Trix,

I guess I have a lot of my views due to my upbringing and my religious beliefs. If just seems that a lot of people asume everyone will live together before getting married (or instead of) . There are still a few of us that pefer (and think that it's right) to get married instead.

As with everything it's down to personal preference.

Good luck to you and your partner and family

System

I happen to beleive if i am good enough to live with, i am good enough to marry.

System

Do you accept on-line proposals?


















































Oops, this should have been on the insurance thread!

System

Shame

System

I guess there is no difference between "living together" and "getting married" if sex is the motivation. Most "living together" couples conveniently confuse sex/lust for love and are therefore happy to go on for as long as the sex is good in the name of "we want to see test the waters before legal commitment. The earlier people realised and acknowledged this the better for their own conscience. ???