Marriage

SuzieQ_5

Sorry, but I don't agree that 'living together' prepares you for marriage. If you love someone, you will commit and accept the other, disgusting habits or not. It's complacency and taking each other for granted that causes the problems in a marriage. As for 'Dad's not having rights', it's often the case that fathers don't want to contribute fair maintenance to their spouse for care of the children - women (the main carers) often struggle and (for obvious reasons) become quite bitter towards the 'absent' father. But, hey, what's all this got to do with money saving tips

nh

This is nothing to do with money saving but it is a very interesting thread! I have lived with my fiance for nearly two years, we bought our house when we had known each other just six months. We were (are!) just so in love. Living together has made us absolutely certain we can work through anything for the rest of our lives. Communication and having fun together is definitely the key! My brother's sister had been with her boyfriend about 10 years and they got married last year and never lived together. They lived with their parents and they are now struggling to adapt. I say definitely live together before marriage! And if you have ANY doubts, don't ignore them.

Galstonian

My brother's sister

Isn't your brother's sister your sister too? ???

Fran

Gal - 1) Person
2) Person's brother with one parent the same
3) Person's brother's sister with the other parent of the brother and another different parent.

Or something like that!

nh

Sorry! I must have got carried away - I meant my fiance's sister, not my brother's sister! Is that a Freudian slip? Don't even go there!

terrierlady

spare a thought for us grandparents in all this . when a couple splits we lose out especially if its our sons.Daughters tend to keep the children,so not so bad .we lose contact with the ex partner and then lose the grandchildren who we have come to love so much.A new partner sometimes does not want to know about g/parents from a previous "life".we are lucky emails keep us in touch.

Fran

Terrierlady -

You can apply to the court for contact as a grandparent. I'm not sure how successful this is though, and of course you've then got the problem of enforcing the order. Unfortunately the best way is the "amicable agreement", but as you say, this is very often difficult.

mistral_2

Terrierlady, this is a common problem for grandparents when things go wrong .

They can sometimes be the primary carer then loose all contact .

In some ways the same can be said for Fathers of unmarried children .

The woman generally is given custody and will control the rights of access.

One of the worst situations is where the Mother moves away taking the child with her , sometimes to the opposite end of the country .

Shawz

Call me "Old Fashioned" if you like but i totally disagree with couples living together before they get married  >:(

Whats wrong with getting married instead of living together.

I've been married for just over a year now and although our first year of marriage has been very tough, we are much happier being married instead of living together. Marriage shows a real commitment to each other. When you are just living together, one of you could just walk away if things got tough.  

Marriage vows(for better, for worse). We had the worse, now time for the better  :)

Woby_Tide

Call me "Old Fashioned" if you like but i totally disagree with couples living together before they get married  >:(

Whats wrong with getting married instead of living together.

OK then, you're completely old fashioned.

Whats wrong with living together before you get married?

I'll make a few assumptions but reading your post I'll wager any amount of money that before marriage you lived within 50 miles of your husband, probably even 10. If we were stucjj in the 1900's i might agree but nowadays life is extremely different and apart from outdated institutions like the church i can't see anyopne objecting to people living together before marriage.. On many levels it helps economy with house purchases, on personaly levels it helps people sort out issues etc before they are 'legally' joined. Just remember one size doens;t fit all. It's diversity that makes most countries what they are