Depression Support Thread

feelinggood_2

I feel like I'm wasting my life waiting for other people. I want to live my own life. I don't want to be someones wife. I don't want to be someones partner. I was to travel, to learn, to grow, to develop ALONE.

alba37

Hi CC, RBK & FG! :wave: And anyone else online too! :wave:

FG, that's a very positive post. You know what you want and don't want. I am so indecisive... You should write it down and work out steps you can take to achieve what you want.

CC & RBK, how's your day been? Hope you're alright. Any plans for tonight?

A x

feelinggood_2

alba37 wrote: »

Hi CC, RBK & FG! :wave: And anyone else online too! :wave:

FG, that's a very positive post. You know what you want and don't want. I am so indecisive... You should write it down and work out steps you can take to achieve what you want.

CC & RBK, how's your day been? Hope you're alright. Any plans for tonight?

A x

I swing between knowing what I want, then being terribly indecisive. Its such a 'final' thing, and although I'm not happy with how my life is, I keep thinking it'll change. I keep putting the same ingredients in the bowl, and hoping that something other than a sponge cake will come out.

Got to try not to thing about everything at the moment I suppose, medication has totally knocked me for six, so I need to 'settle' a bit before making any choices.

Although, I'm thinking about doing some A-Levels. Bro pointed out to me that if I do that, I've got a great way to 'escape' - run off to Uni!

I'm just annoyed because of OH. I agreed that he could get an exercise bike and a bench and some weights if he cleared the junk room. He has ordered stuff, could be here as soon as Friday, but no clearing done. He is still sleeping. I've moved the filing cabinet upstairs, constructed two bookcases, sorted two bin bags for the charity shop and done some general tidying. No help from him.

Horasio

feelinggood wrote: »

I feel like I'm wasting my life waiting for other people. I want to live my own life. I don't want to be someones wife. I don't want to be someones partner. I was to travel, to learn, to grow, to develop ALONE.

Go for it!!!

What is stopping you?

You are young and don't have children.

feelinggood_2

CCStar wrote: »

Go for it!!!

What is stopping you?

You are young and don't have children.

I'm scared of being alone. I got married so young, and I'm scared that I won't be able to manage alone. The change in lifestyle would be huge too.

shazrobo

:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: sorry guys but feel the need for major rant, i am so angry and upset.
took sons to rugby match this afternoon, as a treat for them i'm not interested in the game.
all went well til we left, and then joshua demands we get a taxi home. i said no we'll have a nice walk and stop at subway along the way for tea.
well, he went totally nuts, was running into the road in front of traffic cars were braking and bleeping there horns
then josh picked up an abandoned traffic cone and throws it at a passing car, luckily it didnt go through the windscreen but it did hit the car.
the car stopped and a big bloke got out and started shouting at josh, and i was so scared , that i kinda pretended that josh wasnt with me, cos i dont want people having a go at me.
i used to defend him when he was little, and tell people bout his mental health probs., but now josh is so big, people just think he is an unruly teenager, which i guess he is.
feel like a crap mum, and feel ashamed of myself. not touched alcohol in weeks, but i bought big bottle of cider on way home, to help me relax later, i am so wound up

sorry for long post guys
shaz x

feelinggood_2

((Hugs)) sorry you had a difficult day Shaz. I wish I had some advice or support I could offer, but I've never been in a situation similar to yours. Be nice to yourself tonight, do something that makes you feel good xx

shazrobo

thanks for the hug feelie, how are you today, not had a chance to catch up on all posts yet.?

got myself a big bottle of cider for tonight that should help me relax lol, prob knock me out i not touched it for few weeks

hugs
shaz xxx

alba37

Aww Shaz, sorry you had a terrible day. Please don't drink too much, just have a couple to relax, which you need to do after today. Alcohol just makes me more depressed and I feel worse after it. It took me years to learn that, so I try to keep away from it as much as possible.

There is no way your a crap Mum, you've not got an easy life and you do really great getting through each 'trying' day. Don't be ashamed, you do your best. No one is wonder woman, and no one can stop a stroppy teenager when they go off on one (mental health probs or not) You are home now and need to put it behind you. Try to relax now, please.

A x x x

feelinggood_2

I often wonder what would happen if I drank 2 or 3 bottles of wine now, after so long without it! Make sure you pace yourself.

I'm okay at the moment. 'Stable'. Bit miserable, but oh well!