Depression Support Thread

Tiff_2

Hi anni!:hello:

Hold on - I'z a-coming hunnie.

Hi shaz!
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

LadyMorticia

Thanks everyone for your good luck wishes.
I'm so scared. I'm leaving the house at 11am because I have to meet Nikki at 12pm. My appointment is at 3pm and I most likely won't get home until 6:30pm-ish.

It's going to be a long day.

KentishLady

Sorry I havent been posting, been busy with housework and yesterday we went to the beach for the day.

Think I have caught up with the thread now!

:hello: Hello to all those I havent met yet! and hugs to those who need them.

Shaz - your sewing machine woes have bizarrely inspired me to order some material and get mine out - I am making some washable panty liners.

Tiff - your posts always make me giggle!

ILGDs - pup sounds so cute. I'd love a dog but we can't agree on a breed. DH want's a boxer. In a tiny terraced house with a tiny garden and two elderly cats!! lol. I really dont think so! I was thinking something more cavalier king charles spaniel sized - but then I would worry about him getting out the cat flap & whether he would grow up thinking he was a cat!!

Q_B - love the ride! Never been to Blackpool - a long way from Kent I'm afraid. Does it corkskrew or go upside down?

Tiff - your posts always make me smile.

LM - sorry your weekend didnt go so well. Sending hugs your way - want to borrow a cat? They are always looking for someone to cuddle up to.

Slowlyfading - congrats on the results! really pleased for you.

Steph - hope the dentist is going OK!

Hugs to everyone else!!

alba37

shazrobo wrote: »

congratulations tiff, and our son

good luck at the clinic today anni

hugs
shaz xxx

Morning Shaz, how are you today?

Hi KL, nice to hear you had a good day at the beach! Hope you are ok?

A x x x

LadyMorticia

*hugs* KL. I love cats. Nikki says that one day we're going to go down to Wood Green to get me one.

Stephb1986_2

Hiya tiff, my adventures havent been that exciting so far sorry!!! How are you hun?

Alba will post the piccys up later today or when i get back im still in bed naughty me!

LM i hope today goes well for you!

Im pooing my pants right now i dont like dentists

Steph xx

LadyMorticia

Good luck at the dentist Steph. I don't like them either.

xx

KentishLady

OK now I know I have to go back when I'm well enough and I AM starting to feel better. Spoke to my T/L on monday and work have agreed to a phased return - starting on 3 hours a day and increasing by an hour a day each week if that makes sense. So thats good.

BUT we are targeted. And when I went off sick I was nowhere near meeting my target and I know that I'm not well enough to be able to hit target. Basically they give us two targets. 1) you must close enough complaints each day - if you work 7 hours you must close 5 cases. So if I work 3 hours they will expect me to close at least 2, preferably 3. 2) you have to justify your time. Each complaint is awarded a complexity and you are given a certain number of minutes accordingly. At the end of the day you have to have "earned" enough minutes to cover the hours you have worked. Before I went of sick I was running at about 75% for my minutes and was averaging one or two cases per day. I was doind additional duties to support the team which booosted my minutes. These duties will have been done by someone else in my absence and it is unlikely that I will be allowed to pick these up again.

Sooooo I am really worried about not hitting my targets and that I will end up on a disciplinary or something. I havent been able to sleep properly the last coupld of nights - difficult getting to sleep and woke up at 5 yesterday and today. I am soooooooo tired now!!!! lol.

I am off to the GP's today as sick note runs out. I really hope that she will sign me off for another two weeks as otherwise I have to face work tomorrow and I know I'm not ready - just the thought of it is sending my heart racing and I feel all panicky.

And to top it all I should be studying my OU course but each time I get the books out I can't concentrate and then I get sleepy.

Not really sure what to do for the best.

On a good note my mum is coming over today for the afternoon. So that will be nice. Just have to make sure I am washed and dressed in time to pick her up from the station - dont think she would be too impressed if I turned up in my PJ's.

Sister came over on monday for a flying visit - so I got to make faces at my little nephew - he is 3 months old now and so sweet. I just wish I could spend more time with him so he can get to know me.

Better go now & jump in the shower have brekkie etc.

Will back later!

Tiff_2

Hi anni!:hello:
Here we go then hunnie - hold on to your undercrackers!
Here are a couple of your posts from yesterday angel...

anni wrote:

Sorry I did a disappearing act yesterday. I felt really anxious and just so horrible and didn't want to bring anyone down so I came offline for a while - okay over 12 hours but that's not the point.lol.
Getting increasingly nervous about tomorrow. I'm terrified. What if they refuse me help because my ED isn't bad enough? Or the waiting list for therapy is so long that it's not worth giving me it?

I hope none of this will sound patronising angel - it's not given in that manner.

Taking time out can be a good thing - sometimes the last thing you need is to be told what to think and how to feel. So you took yourself off for a few hours and you looked after yourself and that's not a bad thing.

I'm sorry you're all anxious and worked up anni hun. For what it's worth angel - what you're feeling is completely natural. This is all part of your issues and when we take big steps towards getting help, I'll defy anyone to say that they didn't feel something like that.

Ok then - ''terrified''. Let's get things back in to focus a little 'cos ''terrified'' doesn't help anyone - it's a selfish git like that!
Try and concentrate on changing 'terrified' for 'proud' - because you should be proud anni! Today is a step towards getting to where you want to be. And yes hun, it will be very emotional and leave you feeling a bit confused too probably, but you're being brave enough to go to someone and say that you need help, that you want help. That takes guts and I admire you for that angel!

Leave the ''what if's'' at home with ''terrified'', hunnie. You'll drive yourself loopy with them - look what they did to me!
If this isn't the right option for you sweetheart, there's always a back up plan to come.

I know this all sounds pretty glib angel, so apologies for that, but it's one way of facing tough times. I've been as terrified as you have anni, but it was the best thing I ever did. We don't know how hard something's going to be until we've been through it. Anticipating it too much can leave us a wreck before we start.

The ONLY thing you have to 'worry' about today anni, imho, is being completely honest with the ED people. Yes there'll probably be tears hun and you'll probably feel really drained afterwards. So a couple of Tiffy tips angel...
- try and keep your mind as still and as calm as you can,
- take 2 headache tablets BEFORE you go,
- put a tea or coffee cup ready next to the kettle for when you walk in.
- take a book or crossword or something - or even count - anything to distract you while you're waiting,
- put something out to look forward to coming home to afterwards as a reward, a hot bath - anything that makes you feel better or that you enjoy.
This is being kind to yourself angel.

I won't patronise you hunnie - all areas of mental ill health have waiting lists it's true but no matter how long you have to wait, accept the place if it's offered. Life has a lot of twists and turns hun and you may be at the top quicker than you think.

anni wrote:

But Fg, the only reason I asked for help is because I can't do it on my own. I'm not know for asking help, even when things get really bad which just goes to show how bad things have got. I hate asking for help. I prefer to just struggle on, but this time I can't.

This part was really good to read - I know that sounds odd hun, but you're telling yourself that you're ready for help. Not only are you aditting it to yourself but also to others and that's a positive.

Yes anni hun - you can do it and there will be support from the professionals. Don't scare yourself out of getting the help you want and deserve hunnie.
If it's any comfort, tonight will come as usual, as will the morning. This is an appointment, not something that will last for days. It's an important piece of time to help you and that's all.
Don't cancel hun, no matter how tempting it is, 'cos I will find out where you live - ask sazzy! - and I'll moult all over your smartie rations!
Just kidding hun.;)

I know it will be hard work angel, but you have nothing to lose sweetheart. These people are professionals and will truly understand what you're going through. If they didn't think you needed help, you wouldn't even be having this appointment today.

So sweetie, take the Tiffster's thoughts with you, use what's useful and chuck the rest away. I haven't got all the answers - or even half of them - but all we need to concentrate on now is getting through the day, hour by hour, the best way we can and staying as relaxed as we can okay? I will sincerely be with you every step of the way hunnie - as will everyone here!

I'm off before you start throwing things at me.
I hope part of this was helpful angel - keeping you in my thoughts. Proud of you.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

LadyMorticia

Thanks Tiff. Your words do mean a lot to me, as does your support and the support of everyone here. You don't sound patronising. You actually sound a lot like Nikki and that's a good thing.

I'm going to go there today and just lay everything down because I know that they need to know everything. As Nikki says (or Janette, I can't remember.lol.) if you only tell them half then they can only help you half.

I know I'll have the support of Nikki. Sometimes I'd be so lost without her. She is really like the mother I never had.

My doctor is being so supportive and she actually takes the time to listen to me...and hand me tissues when I'm bawling my eyes out....lol....
I'm going to ask if I can still see her regularly just to check things over as I hate getting used to someone, and then suddenly all contact is cut off. It makes me feel worthless and useless.

There's no way I'm going to cancel.lol. I've waited a long time for this appointment. I'm already half way there, there's no way I'm giving up now.

Thanks for everything Tiff. *hugs*

P.s. Smarties for you! :P