can partner adopt my daughter?

pulliptears

DigitalJedi wrote: »

Sounds wrong to me. How can a mother adopt her own children? Regardless of name.

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Nope, its completely correct. When we went through this with DS it was explained to me that I would also be an adopter. When it all went through we received an adoption certificate for him with both our names on. TBH its not really an issue as long as it is never kept a secret. DS is 15 now and knows OH isnt his natural father, he knows how we had to fight to get him adopted and it doesnt bother him one bit that on paper I'm his adopted Mum. I could never deny him anyway, he is my double

As far as the inheritance, Social Services had us take into consideration that OH adopting DS would mean DS had no legal entitlement to his natural fathers estate, but every legal entitlement to OH's estate. If a child is adopted by a parent then that child has an equal right to any estate as any natural child, however, if it is just a step child in name only then they have no immediate legal right to inherit.

The other reason that I wanted to go down the adoption route is the "What If" factor. What If anything had happened to me? It wouldnt have been impossible for DS's natural father to appear out of the woodwork and fight for custody. At least I knew that should I pop my cloggs DS would be safely looked after, legally, by OH.

technium

Hi this is very similar to what happened with me but the other way round. My wife had a daughter who was 5 at the time and her real dad had never bothered with her, his name was on the birth certificate but that was it. When we got married my wife fell pregnant and someone said to her daughter that the baby wouldnt be here real sister or brother as im not her dad and this upset Amy who was 6 at this time. So I said lets get this sorted and adopt Amy. We contacted citizens advice who pointed us in the right direction and it was easy, we just had to say we didnt know where her real dad was but give an old address we had for him which was obviously 6 years old, we also had to confirm that he had no contact with Amy not even for birthday cards or anything. Then a social worker or someone came and interviewed Amy to make sure she was happy with being adopted and they asked her leading questions about her real dad which I think was probably to just check that what we said about her not seeing him was correct. Then we had a date to goto a court for it all to be made legal, at the end we was given a brand new birth certificate with me named as the father!!! We NEVER had to do any perental responsibility stuff as mentioned above and my wife NEVER had to adopt her own daughter also as mentioned above.

Best thing ive ever done and no problems since and now Amy is 21 years old.

Good luck! Any questions just let me know.

thanks

vics_1982

DigitalJedi wrote: »

Sounds wrong to me. How can a mother adopt her own children? Regardless of name.

You are spot on,
When my mum and dad adopted me (mum bio-logical) she had to adopt me again and so in the eyes of the law my mother is now my adopted mother.
Its rediculous, however that was 19ish years ago.
Oh and it took about 2 years as the sperm donor who i have never seen opposed the adoption, (after never seeing me and never giving my mum a penny!!) but luckily had a lovedly male judge who allowed it all to go through after asking me what i wanted (the social worker never asked if wanted mum and dad to adopt me) dont' know how it is know though,

Thanks

Vics
x

beautyqueen88

Thanks for all the advice, not entirely sure what im going to do yet think i might get a solicitors advice, we are in the middle of moving house so i shall wait until that has settled down first.
i have never received or even asked for financial support from my ex its more just about us wanting to cut all ties really so the ex cant come trying to upset our family in a couple of years or whatever i cant see him ever doing so to be honest but its just for peace of mind and to give my partner legal responsibilty. we also wouldnt want DD to feel like a new baby would not be her real brother/sister or her dad not her 'real' dad.
thanks for sharing your experiences