Sinking into financial quicksand !

Suzkin

Not quite: it would appear that one (naming no names..) can read too much into things! Being signed off work sick means what it says on the tin: signed off not to work in the workplace, and not to work at all (until better). Other than this, the signed off person can do whatever they lke! So, looking for other work would be deemed absolutely fine.

It crosses the line however, should the person signed off take up work (and also actually do it), whilst still signed off work receiving SSP: I think this is known as fraud. Now, as an adult with adult intelligence and responsibility, I would never do this. In fact one can go to ones GP and ask to be signed off SSP - it just depends on the illness etc.

I put up with the bullying for a total of over 5 months before having to resort to my GP. This was after I had alerted my manager on about 5 differet occasions, sought advice from HR, written a letter of complaint, and still tried nevetheless to get into work - and failed on numerous occasions over a period of 1 month.

What you fail to realise is that people are human. Yes, I repeat: human! There is a knock on effect to being bullied at work - that it why it is called 'bullying'! This may result for example, in stress, lack of self-esteem, breakdowns etc. and until the human feels better/stronger etc., s/he may not be in a position to face the work environment. As I say, the work 'environment'. Therefore, I am hinting, that the bullying is organisationally set up or structured in this case, as a cultural thing right through to the boss!

When one is bullied, beaten down or abused, the solution is not necessarily to go back for more. Oh, and I have NEVER considered myself 'entitled' to anything, especially since I even took unpaid leave for 2 months before resorting to seeing my GP - just because I am nice and would not wish to take advantage of the benefits system. I rest my case.

Deep_In_Debt

Suzkin wrote: »

At the job centre I'm basically on my own to find work - especially as I do not (and never will) qualify for incapacity benefit (as I'm not that ill etc. and could quite happliy work for another nicer company/organisation).

I am considering putting myself forward for private cleaning jobs - but that isn't enough to pay my mortgage on! It's also very physically tiring work, but I shall give it a go. :-(

I have also placed an advert on the Southampton Gumtree website for letter/report writing service - I really enjoy crafting formal professional letters etc (you wouldn't think I'm a postgrad!) - so maybe someone might need this?

Hi Suze.
Can't offer much help on the bullying thing. I've been lucky enough to work for a great company who would not tolerate such behaviour and the bullies would soon be out of the door regardless of who they were. I've never heard it happen to anyone in the 12 years I've been there. Sorry probably not what you want to hear!

In terms of a cleaning job, I did it for a while last year in the evenings. I lasted about 6 months at it! It's not that I didn't want to do it but what with working full time and then spending 3 hours an evening cleaning an office and only getting paid £55 a week for it, I gave up with it as I found it very hard. It is hard work and physical but it's worth giving it a go.

Sorry, I'm probably not helping you much. Good luck, hope you get your bullying situation sorted. I do feel for you as it must me a nasty situation especailly as we spend most of our time at work.

Suzkin

Hi Deep in Debt,

Thanks for your post. Interesting. I absolutely agree about the bullying thing. If I were a manager/supervisor again, I would def. not tolerate it. I'm shocked, as even the boss appears to allow it. After I wrote my letter, the seating plan for every shift continuously placed me nearest to the door (which is furthest from the main desk and bosses office) - talk about victimisation.

As for cleaning, I agree with you. Whilst I REALLY need some funds, someone was offering to pay £6 ph for about 3-4 hours per week. Whilst I really appeciate that EVERY penny adds ups, it's just not viable: I would be very physically tired (it would take me at least 45 mins to get to this particular house - one way) for not much. Having said this, cleaning an office is probably 'lighter' than someones own home - and this person told me had TWO bathrooms (ugh!). (lol).

Anyway, thanks again for being so understanding - helps keeps me sane, and feeling not alone (I live alone, btw).

SingleSue

As someone else has said, bullying is not just the physical act. It can lead to depression and eventually, to a breakdown.

Unless the source of the problem is resolved/removed, the bullying would continue, the stress and depression would continue and the person being subjected to it, would be unable to work for that company and possibly, any others for quite some time until the depression lifts.

Depression is very real, is very nasty and has an adverse effect on all aspects of your life.

And I say this as someone who had to take 19 weeks off work after having a breakdown due to an extremely stressful home life with a husband who thought it great fun to completetly ruin my self esteem whilst I was also battling against the realisation that two of my children were disabled.

It is not just about developing a thick skin....sometimes even the thickest skin cannot protect you.

Suzkin

Hi SingleSue,

Thanks for your understanding post. You're absolutely right - and said more elloquently than I could say. I hope you are feeling a bit better. Take care x

kimlisa66

Hi Suzkin

Just reading your thread....I live in Southampton and was wondering who your employer was ?

Is it a small company or a National Organisation ?

With regard to the cleaning jobs, I cleaned for 8 years while my kiddies were little, I hated it but it paid the bills. I am also disabled with a spinal condition that might put me in a wheelchair at any given moment. Sometimes you just have to grit your teeth and get on with life.

I appreciate you are in a different situation to me but, if you need money, you can't really turn afford to turn down anything if its paying. Work won't come looking for you, you have to go after it.

Hope I don't come accross as too harsh, I'm not, but I have been down at the bottom so I know what you are going through.

Kim

SingleSue

Suzkin wrote: »

Hi SingleSue,

Thanks for your understanding post. You're absolutely right - and said more elloquently than I could say. I hope you are feeling a bit better. Take care x

Thanks and yes completely recovered now although it took 2 and a half years before I could say that!

Suzkin

Hi Kim,

You're absolutely right, as well: you have to look for the work. However, this house is in the same road as a v. good friend who is shortly moving up north (for good), and the whole thing about going there and not seeing them, right now, is simply too bleak.

It is a national company BUT has a branch in Southampton. I WOULD like to tell everyone, but I do need to protect myself...

kimlisa66

Hi Suzkin

So you cant take on a job because the house is in a road where a friend lives ?
Hmmm..... I am trying to be completely open minded here but I have to say, you are doing yourself no favours.

If it were me in that situation, the need to keep a roof over my head would totally outweigh any sentimentality around a friend moving house. You will see you friend again if you want to, you seem to be in a mindset of total negativity, as if everything is a self fullfilling prophecy.

If, on the other hand you are severly clinically depressed, which I suspect you might be, you may well you may well have a case against your employer if you can prove they have contributed or caused your illness. Maybe worth exploring ?

Good luck

Kim

Suzkin

I take your point kinlisa66 about the road/friend thing, but it's a bit more than that: the area brings me some really bad memories, and unemployment is pretty stressful in itself. I would do cleaning - only a bit closer to me, and so am still looking. Also, at the moment I'd rather concentrate my time and efforts on full time 'standard' work to which I'm qualified, rather than fill-in jobs. I shall probably have to take on the latter as time progresses...

Btw: what's the 19.5k tax credit debt written off?! Were you overpaid this, and later didn't have to pay it back? In effect, that would mean the gov. gave you £19.5k ?!!!