Need some advice re: my dad

budget_budd

I have a similar problem with my dad, I used to feel incredibly guilty for not getting anything so I would send a card and before I have framed a photo of either me (when I graduated) or my boys for him. I have to say though last year I didn't bother at all, but then he didn't bother with me or my boys.

If you can't face the thought of not getting him anything, just make it something cheap and impersonal.

I always found it difficult to find a suitable fathers day card, they all say things like "greatest dad" or similar.

Don't let worrying about this take over from other things, to be honest it sounds like he doesn't worry about it.

And if it makes you feel less alone, my dad gave the pics I gave him to my brother in a bag of "things he didn't want"

ailuro2

Buy something from local pound shop and wrap it up. If he does open it, he'll see what you think he's worth, if he doesn't open it,then it only cost a pound to keep the peace.;)

aliasojo

I really must be harder hearted than some of the posters here as I can't for the life of me see why you are concerned about someon'e feelings when that person has treated you badly, doesn't appear to care if your birthday is acknowledged or not and doesn't even have the good manners to open previous gifts.

Oh yes....it's because it's your 'Father'? :rolleyes: Imo...the title 'Father' is only earned by caring actions - without those, it's only a word and shouldn't be a reason alone why someone should be given any kind of consideration.

I think you should ignore your Dad's feelings for the moment and do what's best for you. If you think the guilt of not giving him something will weigh too heavily, then give him a token gift. If you think you could live with it, then dont bother, respect and consideration works 2 ways.

I seriously think you should pick a quiet time and talk to your Dad about whatever issues are there though.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Diamond78

ailuro2 wrote: »

Buy something from local pound shop and wrap it up. If he does open it, he'll see what you think he's worth, if he doesn't open it,then it only cost a pound to keep the peace.;)

Great advice. Thats what I would of done. Your father has not treated you good so doesnt really deserve anything. I would get something from the poundshop, tell him how you feel and remind him that he still hasnt opened his other present. Good luck

*Louise*

TangledMemories wrote: »

That's the thing...when we were moving house, I found a present that I'd gone to alot of trouble to find for him...still wrapped up, never opened. That's how much he thinks of me?!

Btw - did you keep it?

Dig it out and give it again....

misty

I believe "family" are the people who love and care for you and you them and not just the people you are biologically linked to.

I would not spend any more - from poundland or otherwise on anyone who has hurt me. I wouldn't be concerned about it looking tit for tat or anything else. If he doesn't even bother to appreciate a present you have bought in the past - I would save my money.

If he asks why you haven't bought anything for him this year - I would say - you have hurt me and I feel upset about it and buying a present felt hypocritical. You haven't opened the present I gave you last year so I didn't think you would be interested. As you haven't remembered to buy me a card or a present - I thought we weren't doing gifts anymore.

Father's day is supposed to be a celebration of fatherhood - there doesn't seem to be much to celebrate - so chucking money at it - won't improve it.

CB1979_2

fathers day is for showing appreciation to your dad.

he's a !!!!!!, so why bother?

fine get him a card put "DAD" & then at the bottome put "your name". don't bother with all pleasantries when you both know it'd be lies.

certainly wouldn't waste my time on a gift and that goes for birthda too, if he says anything say you can't afford it cos your business is failing.

viktory

I'd get cards for both occasions and nothing else. With the situation as it is I find the idea of giving a gift, even a cheap one, hypocritical to be honest.

Surfbabe

Just thought that I'd point out that Fathers Day (a rip off commercial stunt IMO) is actually the 15th June.

We were never allowed to buy our Dad cards or anything as it was oinly a stunt pulled by the card companies - so use that excuse. As for birthdays - i'd say go with the charity card - world vision or Oxfam do brilliant presents.

TangledMemories_2

*Louise* wrote: »

Btw - did you keep it?

Dig it out and give it again....

Well yeah I kept it. It was a gift card for $100 for Orange County Choppers...went and spent it on something for me and OH lol! :T