A question for Stepparents

Nitha

lol - I've got all this to look forward to with my own DS too! Thankfully he did get me a mother's day card (although no breakfast in bed because apparently he's too young to make breakfast in bed for me - he threw up on me instead!)

kr15snw

Its a man thing, dont worry my BIL forgot to get a birthday card for his wife from their daughter (first year).

Luckily MIL was visiting and as soon as she realised we got a call (we were on way) so we picked up a mummy card for daughter to give to her

Id try and bring it up in conversation and mention it would be nice if he could help him as obviously hes too old to do it himself.

bestpud

Nitha wrote: »

Lol - it sounds like it's definitely a man thing! I love hubby to bits but sometimes the little things don't even cross his mind. Think I'm going to mention it to my secret weapon - MIL! We get on really well (think I'm of a rare group!) so maybe she'll have a quiet word!

My mum is the one who gets round my children and makes sure they get me something, bless her!

She doesn't bother trying to get oh on board any more - I think she has realised he's a lost cause when it comes to these things! :rolleyes:

calleyw

I am step parent. The children have never lived with us but my husband has always had regular contact with them occasionally staying over the night.

I have never expect or wanted anything. I often do get a card and present from the eldest as she is now an adult for my birthday and christmas.

She always asks what I want and I tell her nothing and to not waste her money. But will she listen no likely.

I don't think it is man thing at all. I just think it is one of those things. If the children lived with you then that would be different.

Personally I have never thought about it at all. As long as send cards to their dad on his birthday, fathers and christmas I am more than happy.

Yours


Calley

AnnieH

I think you have a bloke who is just a typical man. It won't have even occured to him I bet.

I have never got anything from my OH for mother's day, or Christmas, birthdays etc. I do it for him, and now my girls are old enough to make me things, and the little onehad a fab childminder who helps him make things for me:)

I have been a step-mum for 6 years, and have never had a card from my step-kids.

Bexstars

agree with the man thing! I have been a step mum for 9 years now, my step son is now 14 and if my hubby remembers to get one, then I will but there have been many time he has forgotten, he has been better at remembering since we had our daughter 2 years ago mind

jopsey

agree it's a man thing ,I never got anything of SS when he was young ,
he is nearly 21 now he gets me a card himself, but not always his Dad ,says something like "thought you didn't belive in all that rubbish ?"
his face is a picture ,reap what you sow I say !!

claire1234

hi,
im a step-mum,
my step-kids are old enough to get cards or whatever themselves (13 and 14 now) but never have done even tho plenty of times ive bought or even taken them shopping to get stuff for there mam,
to be honest last year they didnt even bother getting there dad anything for fathers day and his birthday so i personally think its all kids nowadays, its just the way they are, well teenages anyways,

Mrs_P_Pincher

My step daughter just ignores me completely eg Dad gets a Christmas card - no mention of me. When MIL had a dotty moment and sent my birthday card to OH's ex's house by mistake, SD threw it away!

I used to go to endless trouble with SD's birthday and Christmas, same as I do for my own two, but she never acknowledged that I'd done anything or thought to say thank you so I stopped.

When my girls were younger I always made sure they had cards and presents for Dad and he did the same for me (just child sized presents if you know what I mean - Body Shop smellies or silly socks) even after we separated on very bad terms.

I could say lots more about SD but I've already been flamed off another board for it, so maybe not...

Mrs P P

My_Fathers_Daughter

I am a step-mum to an 8 year old boy. I agree with Calley really, I don't expect anything off DSS. He stays with us every weekend and as long as he accepts me on a day to day basis (which he does, we get on very well) then I am certainly not going to worry about 1 day!!!

Having said that, DH's ex-wife normally sends me a card and a bottle of wine or something from both of them!!

I don't get cuddles either, or kisses goodbye, but I think that DSS is perfectly within his right to choose not to be affectionate with me if that's what he wants.

The most important thing is that DSS doesn't feel that I am trying to muscle in on his relationship with his dad and that he is happy to have me as an addition to his life.

As for going on holiday with the ex and family - I'm not jealous at all!! I get along fine with the ex and we have drinks etc, have even been to the pantomime together with DSS and the school play etc but there is no way in this world that I would want to be scrutinised 24/7 for a week :eek: