How Do I check up on my Wife Debts

LZL03

A few years ago my wife managed to run up VERY LARGE credit card debts without my knowledge. Stupidly she buried her head in the sand, thinking that if I found out it would mean the end of our marriage. Unfortunately I became seriously ill and had to spend many months at home. It was during this period that I notice more and more letters from credit card companies where arriving. Then one day I simply had to open of the letters and found a statement for £15,000. I tackled my wife about it, we decided I would pay off the debt and she would pay me back each month including the interest I would have got on my savings. Everything was sorted or so thought until more and more bills arrived. My wife was given an ultimatum, come clean about all your debts or go through the door. We finally arrived at a figure or around £33,000 including the orignally £15k. I know find that I am now flat broke having paid off all her debts. But I am worried that she may start spending to excess again. We are both working, but I am constantly in fear of credit cards statements coming through the door. All here cards have been cut up, and only Capital One still insist on sending statements with zero balances.

Is there ANY way I can keep a check on my wifes credit rating without her knowledge. Being married I am jointly responsible to pay off any debts she incurrs, but find myself in a position that under the data protection act no-one is allowed to give out information about my wife.

fermi

LZL03 wrote: »

Being married I am jointly responsible to pay off any debts she incurrs, but find myself in a position that under the data protection act no-one is allowed to give out information about my wife.

Where on earth did you hear that! :eek:

You are only jointly liable for debts that have been signed for in both names.

Credit cards are never joint. The only person liable is the account holder.

http://www.payplan.com/debt-library/joint-and-several-liability.php

An additional person can hold a card, but only the "account holder" is liable.

dotstar24

I thought the debt was the sole resposiblilty of the person who took out the loan/credit card? and nothing to do with partners/spouses?

stapeley

Try asking her for all the facts !

debtmuncher

i agree with asking her and also asking her if she would be prepared to let you see her online credit report. just talk it through best that way than both of you sneaking around behind each others back thinking the worst.

cat4772

LZLO3

Have you any evidence that your wife is spending excessively again? I wonder if you would think about TALKING to your wife about finances and how she's coping with managing her money?

My husband is absolutely useless with money so he has an allowance. Although he can't incurr too much debt this way, we do talk each week about money, sometimes as little as 'I've spend £28 on groceries this week' to more complex discussions about how much to spend on holidays, or which debts to overpay when either of us have earned overtime etc. He's involved and has a say where the money goes.

Good luck with this.

Cat.x

newsgroup_monkey

I have to say, I'm intrigued about this. I was in a similar situation and for various reasons, my wife and I split up about 2 years ago.

She wanted a clean break so rather than keeping the house and me having an interest in it, she remortgaged it (in her own name) and gave me half of the profit we had made.

The only thing was, before she gave me the money, she took all of our combined debt, split it in half and took that out first.

What niggled me was that almost all of the debt was in her name. She used to run credit cards up to stupid amounts and then take out loans. I just thought that because we were married, I was as liable as she was for the debt. A large chunk of the debt was £8k on 2 credit cards. My only debt was a £250 credit card bill and another £400 owe.

I haven't finalised the divorce yet, but seeing as she ran up the debt, should I mention this in the divorce proceedings?

immoral_angeluk

Checking up on your wife will only lead to mistrust and resentment. You are only liable for debts in both your names and just because you are married doesn't mean you have to bail her out. In fact, bailing her out is probably having the opposite effect you intended. Bail her out once and she's going to think she can always fall back on you when she does it again.

zzzLazyDaisy

newsgroup_monkey wrote: »

I have to say, I'm intrigued about this. I was in a similar situation and for various reasons, my wife and I split up about 2 years ago.

She wanted a clean break so rather than keeping the house and me having an interest in it, she remortgaged it (in her own name) and gave me half of the profit we had made.

The only thing was, before she gave me the money, she took all of our combined debt, split it in half and took that out first.

What niggled me was that almost all of the debt was in her name. She used to run credit cards up to stupid amounts and then take out loans. I just thought that because we were married, I was as liable as she was for the debt. A large chunk of the debt was £8k on 2 credit cards. My only debt was a £250 credit card bill and another £400 owe.

I haven't finalised the divorce yet, but seeing as she ran up the debt, should I mention this in the divorce proceedings?

You should mention it to your solicitor, but there may not be much can be done about it at this stage if you and your wife have already sorted out the financial side of things between you.

FionaH_2

I did similar to your wife. I ran up debts and didnt tel my fiancee, then after we got married it was harder to cope financially. Most of the debt was to aid paying for the wedding - we did a self build and he was paying the mortgage (which was and still is in his sole name)

Eventually, I came clean, but he did have to ask me first. I had around £18k of debt in loans, credit cards and overdraft.

We sat down, made a budget plan and we're coping with it, but he does still ask 'are you telling me everything' based on only the fact that i previously hid it. it sucks. we've spilt up and reconcilled because of it. Im not entirely sure that we'll be able to get past it though. I know that its my own fault for hiding it but knowing he was 'checking up' on me made it unbearable. So trust me, if you start checking up on her behind her back, it could cause bigger problems! A little trust and a non-accussing conversation can go a long way!

GeorgeUK

You could always tell your wife about this site so you can both work through your finances - what is owed and how you can make savings.

If your wife is paying PPI on loans - does she really need this? You can save quite a bit by not having it.

Why not ask her to help you prepare a statement of affairs (SOA) so that she can also see how various things can cost alot more in the long term (such as consolidating debts). This way you might actually see her helping herself so you won't need to worry so much about her.
http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html

You could both have a look at your credit reports and see how much debt you have and make a plan on how best to tackle it. It would probably be alot better for both of you than trying to do it without your wife's knowledge.