How can i budget my OH's spending???

BASHFUL_2

Hi all.....I dont know if i am writing this in the right place so apologies if not... My OH earns very good money, but he has absolutely nothing to show for it....I am forever taking money off him and putting it in savings which he is happy for me to do but if he has money he has to spend it all straight away leaving him broke untill payday every week. We are taking his daughter away at the end of the year, and the only way we will be able to do that is because i set up a standing order for a tiny amount every month. He keeps saying he wants to get a loan so we can get married which ofcourse is out of the question. I'm just after any ideas that might get him to stop spending and start saving, money just burns a hole in his pocket. I just want us not to struggle as there is no need for it!! Any help or ideas appreciated x

Overthetop

An evening in talking over the situation and perhaps making your OH a member of this site, just so they can see how rewarding financial forward planning can be-Good luck

BASHFUL_2

thankyou overthetop....he isnt very good at talking, and he wont go on this site, he is always at work so doesnt get on the pc very often. He thinks its boring to save up for something when he can just pay for it straight away even if it leaves him broke untill next payday!!!! Thankyou for your idea though x

JoS_3

I have exactly the same problem with my husband, he has always been horrendous with money and there's no way that I'm going to let him get us into financial peril because he can't budget! He has no financial sense whatsoever, even though I've explained, shouted, begged him to take notice of how things work. One example - I found him a 0% interest credit card so that he could transfer his credit card balance to it and start to pay it off. I told him, whatever he did, not to spend on the credit card. I later found out that he had spent £12.00, and hence the whole benefit of transferring the balance was lost. The bills get paid no problem, as they are paid via direct debit from my account and he has set up a monthly payment to my account to cover his share. But over the past couple of years he has run up £3k on his credit card plus £1200 on his overdraft. He really doesn't get paid that much so this is quite a significant amount. I've talked to him until I'm blue in the face to try to sort it out but it goes in one ear and out the other. Finally last month, I gave him an ultimatum. We are saving towards a trip to see his friends and family in his home country, which will cost around £3.5 - £4k, and because I earn more than him I contribute more towards this than he does. I told him that if he didn't agree to give me his debit card and let me manage his money to pay off his debt I would refuse to contribute towards the holiday. It would take him at least a couple of years to save for it by himself, so this struck a chord. This is the only thing that has, as he doesn't view his debt (more than 20% of his annual earnings) as a problem. He isn't too bright. I don't feel good about this really, as I know it isn't really solving the problem (ie, getting him to understand about money and respond by living within his means), but I don't know what good the alternative would bring - it would just mean him running up more debt, never having any money and making up vulnerable if we need to remortgage in the next couple of years. I'm not really sure where to go from here - all I do know is that I'm not prepared to put myself in a bad position just because he behaves like a child.

BASHFUL_2

you sound just like me!!! Accept I do let him get my finances ruined a bit too!!! EG. he had the hump all weekend because I didnt want him to spend £150 on garden furniture when we didnt have it to spend, I gave in and let him use my credit card. I guess there isnt much we can do!!!!

MrsTinks

Cheer up they CAN change Hubby was of the school of thinking that he'd just get it on credit... now he only gets it on credit if it's 0% and he knows there will be hell to pay if he doesn't make sure he's on top of things
This weekend we'll be looking at organising the budgets again and doing a joint one instead of seperate ones. We'll still have "his and hers" because we're comfortable with that. However we do share everything and everything tends to balance out to be honest But he no longer dashes off to buy stuff on a whim and he's realised he doesn't need to upgrade the car every year
Don't give up hope, if he's a severe case then give him an allowance and DON'T let him bully you into buying things if you don't need them

BASHFUL_2

I spoke to him this afternoon as he is on lates, so i waited for him to get up, made his cup of tea, and dinner, and after he has his shower i pounced!!!!! I said, please let me manage your money, and we came to a deal, that was quite good if he sticks to it, he can have the tv he wants so I'm printing a pic of it and putting it on the fridge and hopefully he will stick to it! We are takinghis daughter to disney and the amount i am putting away is not going to get us there, so I said unless he does it we will probably let her down so fingers crossed, he is going to hand over his cards next monday!!!!!!!!!

Essenchill

Good luck! The idea of putting the TV picture to the fridge is a great one!

BASHFUL_2

Thanks Essenchill!!!! I just hope it will work!!! I'm a tiny little 5" thing and he's a big 6" doorman!!!!!! If he doesn't want to do something he wont do it!!!! I'm just going to budget him for the weekdays, and then, at the weekends I'll make sure he has things to do so he doesnt get the urge to go out and spend a fortune!!!!!
Bashful x