BIL divorced without knowledge?

SootSoot

BIL has announced that he is divorced.
However, it all sounds rather fishy. He says that fat slapa has been planning the divorce for over 18mths. During the past 18mths they have been living as a normal family with their 2 children + 1 son from HER previous relationship. BIL had suspicions of Slapa having an affair with a 'gay' colleague (as she said he was at the time). She denied it.

Anyway, BIL got decree absolute sent to him in the post Her grounds being that he was a rubbish father (who took on her 2 children who NEVER got any Child maintanence from their father) and that he did nothing in the house (he did ALL of the refurbishment ready for house sale when it was put on the market a year ago). Well, the strange thing is that he didn't even see this coming as he has never received any letters regarding a divorce. He hasn't signed anything, so how has she managed to get an absolute? Unless he is lying to us OR she has forged the papers??? (they live at the same address)

Also, they both have their names on the mortgage but only Slapa has her name on the deeds. What rights does he have, if any?

Thanks for any advice.

whatatwit

I think he needs to get some professional advice ASAP.
Some solicitors offer free sessions, even on a Saturday morning.

miserly_mum

SootSoot wrote: »

BIL has announced that he is divorced.
However, it all sounds rather fishy. He says that fat slapa has been planning the divorce for over 18mths. During the past 18mths they have been living as a normal family with their 2 children + 1 son from HER previous relationship. BIL had suspicions of Slapa having an affair with a 'gay' colleague (as she said he was at the time). She denied it.

Anyway, BIL got decree absolute sent to him in the post Her grounds being that he was a rubbish father (who took on her 2 children who NEVER got any Child maintanence from their father) and that he did nothing in the house (he did ALL of the refurbishment ready for house sale when it was put on the market a year ago). Well, the strange thing is that he didn't even see this coming as he has never received any letters regarding a divorce. He hasn't signed anything, so how has she managed to get an absolute? Unless he is lying to us OR she has forged the papers??? (they live at the same address)

Also, they both have their names on the mortgage but only Slapa has her name on the deeds. What rights does he have, if any?

Thanks for any advice.

Sounds more like your BIL is talking Boll**ks. Not doing stuff in the house is not LEGAL grounds for divorce.

Have you actually saw the Decree Absolute?

SootSoot

I personally haven't seen anything. He was depressed due to his job when she started filing for divorce. The issue here is that he has not seen the original petition papers, but received a Nisi last June, to which she had said the divorce was halted.
I am confused, as he knew about the Nisi but didn't sign petition. If she has forged the petition then she is obviously going to face legal penalty.

Sneaky Slapa also just took out a new mortgage with BIL. Its all fishy. They were also still having sexual interactions *shudders at the thought* during the past 18mths, so what grounds does she actually have to say the marriage is ' irretrievably broken down'???

loftus

He needs to seek urgent legal advice. For a divorce to go through he would have needed to have signed the acknowledgement of service - it would not go through without it. It sounds like she is seeking a divorce on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour and for that she could put down virtually anything.

miserly_mum

SootSoot wrote: »

I personally haven't seen anything. He was depressed due to his job when she started filing for divorce. The issue here is that he has not seen the original petition papers, but received a Nisi last June, to which she had said the divorce was halted.
I am confused, as he knew about the Nisi but didn't sign petition. If she has forged the petition then she is obviously going to face legal penalty.

Sneaky Slapa also just took out a new mortgage with BIL. Its all fishy. They were also still having sexual interactions *shudders at the thought* during the past 18mths, so what grounds does she actually have to say the marriage is ' irretrievably broken down'???

Ok i'm confused now..........in your original post you said the reason she gave for the divorce was that your BIL was a crap father etc now you say it was irretrievable break down???

If your SIL was such a "slappa" as he says she is why would your BIL sleep with her?

Also the Decree Absolute is served 6 weeks after the Nisi which he says was last June. How come he's only mentioning it now? Nearly a year later. You are taking everything he says as Gospel because its obvious you don't like the "fat slappa"



Sounds like your BIL is a s**t talker.

mookiandco

Just to clarify there is only one ground for divrce ie irrertrievable breakdown of marriage. This has to be proved by one of 5 facts. one of these facts is unreasonable behaviour. 'Not doing stuff in the house' etc can be used in the particulars to prove unreasonable behaviour. It only needs to be mild allegations.

Divorce can progress without his knowledge but usually only if she has applied for deemed service which is where she has to swear an affidavit on the basis that your BIL can't be found or he has received the divorce petition but not returned Acknowledgement of service. If she has done this and court has gramted deemed service then she would have been able to apply for decree nisi.

There is a period of 6 weeks before you can apply for decree absolute. However, decree absolute has to be applied for, it is not automatic. You can apply for your decree nisi to be made absolute within 12 months of decree nisi being granted otherwise you would need to show to the court good reason for applying after 12 months. I suspect that is why she has applied before June 2008.

The decree Nisi would not have said the divorce is halted. It would say that she has proven her case ie marriage has irretrievably broken down and court can grant decree absolute after 6 weeks unless anyone can show cause why it shouldnt.

Your BIL received Decree Nisi and did nothing. I suspect that he is not being entirely truthful about receiving the divorce petition either. Perhaps he was so depressed at the time he just swept it under the carpet.

A solicitor is only going to advise him to accept the divorce as there is nothing he can do. He may however want to get legal advice about finance and property as this can still be dealt with even if decree absolute has been granted. Your BIL is likely to have a 'claim' on the former matrimonial home' and needs to get a matrimonial home right notice put on the property to prevent her from selling. Whilst he sits back and does nothing she is free to keep remortgaging thereby reducing the equity and his share or sell the house from under him.

SootSoot

Thank you mookiandco for your advice and knowledgable reply.

Miserly_mum, BIL did not call her a slapa....I did. I have not taken what he says as gospel if you read my posts carefully you will see that. I have my own personal opinion on her due to the way she has behaved over the years, but thats a different story.

BIL was still sleeping with her as she claimed that she was not having an affair. That is HIS perogative to decide what to do, not mine or anyone elses.

DH sent some information regarding mortgages and deed holders from the 'net via email to BIL last night. Slapa has hacked (most probably via her 17YO son) into BIL's email and PC and replied to DH with a b*tchy response of gettingan eviction order and bailiffs to remove him. We know she has hacked into his PC as he has password locked it and changed it to something that is not to do with her or their family. She took his PC apart last week because he had saved all her MSN conversations on there and she wanted to delete them but couldn't find them.

Anyway, she is getting nasty and we are telling BIL to play just as nasty as she has no intention of being nice. I've told him to log everything she says to him and also her movements in reference to childcare, as she often leaves the younger 2 with their 17YO half brother, who has indicated in the past that he intends to move out at 18 and join the police.

I shall get DH to force BIL to go to seek legal advice today as she's trying to sting him and leave him with nothing. She seems to think that as the house is under her name that she OWNS it (although she says she has a charge on it). I'd appreciate anymore advice and I shall update when I get some more info.

bank_of_slate

'Fat Slappa' - I love it!

Did it come free with a Big Mac meal?
...Linda xx

miserly_mum

SootSoot wrote: »

BIL has announced that he is divorced.
However, it all sounds rather fishy. He says that fat slapa has been planning the divorce for over 18mths. During the past 18mths they have been living as a normal family with their 2 children + 1 son from HER previous relationship. BIL had suspicions of Slapa having an affair with a 'gay' colleague (as she said he was at the time). She denied it.

Anyway, BIL got decree absolute sent to him in the post Her grounds being that he was a rubbish father (who took on her 2 children who NEVER got any Child maintanence from their father) and that he did nothing in the house (he did ALL of the refurbishment ready for house sale when it was put on the market a year ago). Well, the strange thing is that he didn't even see this coming as he has never received any letters regarding a divorce. He hasn't signed anything, so how has she managed to get an absolute? Unless he is lying to us OR she has forged the papers??? (they live at the same address)

Also, they both have their names on the mortgage but only Slapa has her name on the deeds. What rights does he have, if any?

Thanks for any advice.

Sorry if i've been harsh in previous posts but it's what your BIL is telling you that sounds fishy to me.

He told you his wife had been planning the divorce for 18 months yet seems to be surprised when his Decree absolute arrives in the post.

Tells you he had no paperwork regarding the divorce prior to this then later mentions the Decree nisi last June. Does that not make you think he's not being entirely honest with you?

As another poster said, maybe he ignored the Nisi hoping it would all get sorted or whatever. I'm assuming the Nisi and absolute were both sent to his address so why wouldn't the Original divorce petition be sent there too? If SIL was trying to be dishonest and forge signatures etc why let him receive some paper work and not others?

Surely she would have intercepted all of them and left him completely in the dark until the divorce was final.

Also you say she sneakily took out a new mortgage with your BIL. Whats sneaky about it if he was aware of it? and presumibly signed the paperwork?

Would you seriously take out a new mortgage on a house with your partner if you a) suspected of having an affair and b) had already received divorce papers from (the nisi)?

Unless your BIL is !!!!!! he knew exactly what was happening with the divorce and the mortgage. I feel from your posts that you are allowing your dislike for your SIL cloud you judgement when taking into account what BIL has told you. Even though he changes his story and a lot of what he says at one point contradicts what he tells you at a later point.

BTW I leave my younger kids with my 17 year old daughter at times. There is nothing wrong in doing that. And why do you need to mention SIL's 17 year old son leaving home to join the police. Surely the only relevance that hs is that he will no longer be available to babysit BIL's kids which you seem to disapprove of anyway

shadej

My first husdand divorced me without me knowing.

We split and I stayed in London while he mover to Milton Keynes. He used a friends address up there to get the courts to send my papers to and had a friend forge my signature. After it was done he put the letters in the post and sent then to me in London. We had no kids and no assets as we rented and took our things when we parted. I was shocked but at the same time happy to be rid of him. So it is possible that your BIL has had this done to him.