Thread closed - ForDad

jimc_2

margaretclare wrote: »

........stuck up loosers.

margaretclare. Don't fret about this. You're obviously the caring one and to me the quote above absolutely PROVES fordad to be an imposter.

She(He?) earlier claimed that the sudden change to (semi-)comprehensibility was the result of using a spellchecker and then she comes up with the most common misspelling in the MSE Forums despite the spellcheck. It's either one or the other - he/she's using spellcheck or not.

I think he/she just forgot and reverted to type in this post.

Shame though. It's been our own little soap opera with fordad throwing in just enough little comments to get us to another level of anger/revulsion/sadness!

patchwork_cat

Curv - You do appear blunt . you have quite upset me as your comments seem naive.
I did stay on good terms with my parents (and not with any thought as to financial gain, but because I loved them - during their life I never thought about their inheritance) and no there was nothing left to us in their wills.

How do you say to your parent oh mum if you die make sure you make proper provision for me in your will. My parents obviously trusted their partners - I have no reason to believe that my step father will not divide his inheritance 5 ways, but it is not soemthing I can raise with him nor is it something I would have raised with my parents.

However - I would like to point out that someone has died and this should be treated respectfully.

Curv

patchwork_cat wrote: »

Curv - You do appear blunt . you have quite upset me as your comments seem naive.
I did stay on good terms with my parents (and not with any thought as to financial gain, but because I loved them - during their life I never thought about their inheritance) and no there was nothing left to us in their wills.

How do you say to your parent oh mum if you die make sure you make proper provision for me in your will. My parents obviously trusted their partners - I have no reason to believe that my step father will not divide his inheritance 5 ways, but it is not soemthing I can raise with him nor is it something I would have raised with my parents.

However - I would like to point out that someone has died and this should be treated respectfully.

I'm sorry I upset you, patchwork cat... that's truly not what I intended. And I'm very sorry for your loss.

I was replying to your comment that provision ought to be made for step-children, and how could that happen unless the parent does it via their own will or has an agreement with their spouse, who then accommodates it via their will?

My comment about staying on good terms was more general and related to the subject of the thread, ForDad. I didn't mean to imply that you weren't on good terms or that you were seeking any financial gain from your parents deaths... you made it quite clear that wasn't the case - I apologise for any misunderstanding my general comments may have caused.

I agree that it's not an easy subject to raise or discuss, but so much pain and difficulty is caused either by failure to make a will or lack of communication that it's important to talk about what would or wouldn't happen. Otherwise it's left completely to chance.

margaretclare

Patchworkcat, I agree with you that there should be provision for children/grandchildren/stepchildren/step-grandchildren. Your parents' situation is different in that both your parents have money to leave. In the case we've been discussing, there was NO money left, only debts, and none of us was able to convince the poster that if there is no money left, there is none, so you can't have any!

The problem of step-relationships is a common one nowadays. DH and I have both been married before. What we have decided to do is to leave anything we may have when the second of us shuffles off this mortal coil to 5 grandchildren, 3 of mine and 2 of his, and we have identical wills stating this and naming all 5. My daughter, and his son and daughter, have no need of anything at all and it makes more sense for it to go to the younger ones. There may, or may not, be much left, who knows, but whatever there is, it's the luck of the draw. I believe the OP's deceased father made a mistake in having his will written as 'I leave £1000 to each of my children' or some such, and then there were no thousands left on his death. I've been told that it's better not to mention actual amounts, because you simply do not know what will be left by the time you die. You may have had to use it all for your own needs, it may have had to be used for debts, whatever.

Loftus, I think most of us 'made the same points again and again' in the vain hope of getting something through into this young woman's silly head. Obviously we all failed abysmally.

patchwork_cat

I don't know as I said anything about my Dad - but he wasn't there for us when he was alive or my Mum, so no surprises there ( i was however still talking to him & visiting occasionally, the same can't be said of him visiting me though). There was an agreement made by my Mum and stepdad regarding the division of their estate, but it is just an agreement with both making the same will at the time and is reliant on my stepdad not changing his will - which while I appreciate it would be very difficult I think it should have been formalised in my Mum's will.

So this has made me think about re writing my will and making small bequests on an individual basis quite apart from anything financial. This is one of the things that upsets me most that my Mum didn't leave anything immediately to me or my then toddler son as a rememberance e.g. her watch or something with only sentimental value. I would have really liked a letter too and I will be doing that.

*Louise*

I just read the other thread....Wow - I was watching Jeremy Kyle on ITV2 but the thread was much more interesting.

I am in agreement that it is a wind up tbh. <<---(look, txt spk!)

Mind you, I'm sure there are hundreds of families across the country who are having just such disagreements over wills. Although hopefully in a less chav-like manner.

I'm getting nothing from anyone when my relatives die. And to be perfectly honest, I don't care - I think I prefer it that way.

Stephb1986_2

my mum and dad divorced when i was younger i dont see my dad and dont want to i dont want his money or anything.

my mum has since remarried and my step dad is great, both my mum and step dad have made wills if my mum dies then all her stuff will go to my step dad but in her will it does say that she wants me to have such and such a thing the same for my brother ect. My step dad has done the same.

My grandad inherited a good fortune off his step mother he had it about a year before he died, the money went to my nan but in my grandads will it stated that he wanted all the grandchildren to have £1000 each which to then my nan carried out his wishes i think this is how it works.

So patchwork cat your mum will have left her estate to her new husband but probably has put in the will that she wants something left to you upon his death the same with your dad too. So neither of their children will inherit any of your parents estate unless they stated in their will.

I hope this helps and puts your mind at rest.

Steph xx

Savvy_Sue

loftus wrote: »

I don't see the point of another thread being started to continue the with these comments.

I don't know who locked the previous thread, but I agree with this so I am referring this to Abuse. If they think it's appropriate to re-open it, they will.