Wife in hospital,Unreasonable employer.5 yr old child

tonyp41

Thank you for your help

BallandChain

The only thing I can think of is Social Services. Give them a call and see if they can advise you. Somebody will be along to give more help. Good luck.

emsywoo123

Oh heavens how awful for you......have you spoken to your employer directly, they might be able to help? My only other suggestion is to post this on the employment board, as they usually have some good advice?
Good luck xxx

stokechick16

I dont know what to say im sorry. But i do hope your wife gets better soon xxx

zzzLazyDaisy

You are entitled to unpaid leave for family emergencies - but that wouldn't give you 4 weeks off, as it is only for emergencies to give you time to make other arrangements, and is unpaid anyway.

Do you have any leave owing? Could you come to an agreement with your employer that you take your holidays now?

Do you really need 4 weeks off? I appreciate that half term is coming up and that could be a problem, but apart from that he will be at school most of the day, and most areas these days have after school clubs, and sometimes breakfast clubs.

What about school friend's mums? Would a neighbour be willing to take him to school/pick him up? Many working parents have to make these arrangements and maybe your wife could help out in return once she is better?

If you still have odd days where you have a problem, your employer is likely to be more sympathetic to your situation.

patchwork_cat

Oh dear this is my nightmare too. TBH I think the best you will get is unpaid, unless you get signed off with the stress of it all. I used to work with someone whose sons got Gastro Enteritis and they had to have 2 clear stool samples before they could go back to school. She didn't get it, but her doctor signed her off work with stress so she could look after them.

zzzLazyDaisy

But of course not everyone gets full pay while off sick. If there is no company sick pay scheme, OP would get SSP (about £75 per week) which is better than nothing, but as I understand it OP is looking for a way to take four weeks paid leave? I still don't see why he needs 4 weeks though?

glossgal

..yes but the doctor has clearly given OP the brush off by suggesting carers leave, they have no intention of signing him off sick..because he isnt! I totally understand that parents may get a note when they have a poorly child in hospital but not in this situation.

I agree 4 weeks is excessive though, I can't imagine many employers allowing a months worth of leave so it's unrealistic to call them 'unfair' I think. I can't actually think of a solution for OP , maybe it will just have to be filed under 'sometimes lifes a b****'

Nicki

Why will you need 4 weeks anyway? Surely your wife will be able to cope when she gets out of hospital (to a degree anyway) with her arm in a cast. I can see she might need a bit of help with things which need the use of two arms (eg cooking) but walking a 5 year old home from school, and entertaining him with a book, painting, etc doesn't fall into that category.

Can you not organise a day or two off (as annual leave) to do school pick ups while your wife is in hospital, and spend your weekends putting together some meals for her which she can just stick in the oven to feed her and the child over the week while you are at work, and have a discussion with her about other things she might find hard and ways to get round this which don't involve you losing a month's money.

I don't wish to sound unsympathetic but there are many parents who are disabled or chronically ill with more debilitating conditions than your wife's, who nonetheless find ways to cope.

kazwookie

A local childminder

Merlot

Sorry to read about your wife. I too think 4 weeks is excessive, more like a couple of days is enough. I recently had an operation, my husband had one day off and then I had to get on with it, I have two children under the age of 10.

You are not thinking about it logically, your wife can take your son to school and collect him, why should your employer give you time off?

There are many single parents out there doing this on there own, and they manage.

I do not wish to be harsh, but you just have to get on with it, your wife is not seriously or terminally ill, she can manage to look after her own son, whether her arm is in a cast or not.

Wishing her a speedy recovery.

Merlot.x.