Help for my boyfriend

melancholly

mountainofdebt wrote: »

There are companies that can give you an all over MOT but I'm not sure how much they cost.

Incidently I read an article about these that a GP wrote and he wasn't too impressed about it simply because the amount of radiation that all the xrays produce could be counter productive.

MRI doesn't use x rays (maybe you mean a CT scan?)! they are generally considered to be a lot safer and no long term side effects have been documented.

mountainofdebt

Yeap you're right but here's the article I was referring to:

http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/body_and_soul/article3051377.ece

kazzieg

Has he notified whoever he is doing his exams with of the passing of his dad.

They may take this into consideration due to the exeptional circumstances.

Alex_of_Swansea

It sounds like your boyfriend is still grieving for his dad. Everyone is scared of death and this is the form it takes for him since his dad's death. It would be a really good idea for him to talk to a bereavement counsellor? An MRI might help short term but then he'll worry they missed something and want another one. ALl the best xxx

beechescomposter

Your BFs fear of a brain tumour is understandable but we can all see it is most unlikely to be justified.
If having an MRI scan puts his mind at rest and allows him to move on then £200 is not an excessive amount to pay and MRI is harmless.
The problem will be if the scan finds some minor harmless abnormality or even a potentally harmful abnormality. Would he be able to cope with this or would it make matters worse.
Also will his anxiety be trasferred to something else once the scan is done or is he not naturally a worrier.
It sounds like an MRI scan alone will not solve this problem but will need to be combined with some psychological support. Steer clear of BUPA and the whole body scanning set ups. An MRI with these would cost £350-600 but you can get scans for £200 if you look on Google

LillyJ

I personally think that an MRI would be counter productive in some ways as he has underlying problems that need to be addressed. To get a private MRI you need a GP referral. No GP is going to refer a man who wants one for psychological issues. It is a very common fear after such an experience and lots of people want medical tests to rule out illness. But counselling would be a much better use of the money.
Get him to discuss his fears with his GP, and tell his company about his problems

sikey

Sorry to hear about the sad loss.

I'm not good with kind words and often, its not the words but space for listening, for understanding that is important.

In my experience an MRI would provide little or no lasting reassurance - negative investigations show that nothing is detectable by that method at that point. It would be nice to think that a scan will provide an answer, but in fact it usually in the long run just reinforces the negative thought processes linked with the problem.

However, the concerns your bf are very common, very understandable and very distressing (I'm sure) to all of you. Time and understanding may be all that is needed. Your GP may be a helpful access to help. Cruse bereavement may be helpful. Books like "Manage Your Mind" (check the library as I'm sure they'll have it) may be helpful, either too your bf or too you in understanding how some of the thoughts take over.

(a link to http://www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/ )

There is hope. Your bf has had a deep loss in a painful way at what sounds like a vulnerable time. Do look after yourself too so that you may be able to provide support through this difficult time.