Help for my boyfriend

amyparr

Hi guys,

I know that this is primarily a money saving forum, but I was hoping some people on here might be able to give me some advice of a more personal nature.

My boyfriend, who is 23, lost his father suddenly last year from a brain tumour. He's had a pretty hard time of it but has coped really well, and has managed to get himself a top job in London which he starts next year. He's currently sitting his final set of exams which he needs to pass to start the job - any fails and he's out.

Basically, he's really worried that he has a brain tumour like his dad, which sounds ridiculous to you and me but genuinely worries him a lot. I keep telling him that his headaches and inability to concentrate are all just due to the stress he's currently under (pressure from work, his mum etc) but it doesn't settle his mind about it. He's been to his doctor who said it's probably the same thing. Consequently he's finding it hard to study at the moment, and his exams are in about a months time.

What I want to know is, can you get an MRI done to check for this kind of thing to put his mind finally at ease? I think it's the only way he'll stop worrying about it. How would I go about getting this sorted for him?

Thanks a lot,

Amy

Stephb1986_2

Hi Amy, Sorry to hear that your boyfriend is having trouble.

my uncle died 4 years ago of bowel cancer he left 2 boys one is now 16 sitting his gcse's and the other is now 12 the older one is having trouble with his stomach he's stopped eating ect ect because he thinks he has cancer the doctors have done some tests as his dad and his grandad both died of bowel cancer and they've come back clear but has also said that it is psychological and that he should have some councelling.

maybe that is a idea for your BF? or have a word with his doctor to get a MRI scan done but the nhs waiting list is a mile long for them and private i think they are about £300.

Sorry i cant be much help

Steph xx

Oldernotwiser

I'm sure that it's possible to have an MRI scan done privately when referred by your GP although I think that it's unlikely to be available on the NHS for psychological reasons only.

anguk

The problem is MRI scans are quite expensive so a doctor won't do one unless there's good reason. I'm not sure if you could get one privately but would imagine that it would cost loads. Even if he did get one it might settle him now but what about in 6 months time or something & he's stressed and gets headaches, will he think it's a tumour then?

It's natural for him to feel this way, I remember Ricky Gervais saying he's quite a hypochondriac and thinks every ailment he gets is cancer because his mum died of cancer. Has your boyfriend tried bereavement counselling or perhaps stress management?

Oldernotwiser

If you Google "private mri scan" you'll find many companies offering this. As your boyfriend has a good job, this could be a good investment if it would enable him to concentrate on his important exams. In the long term, counselling/therapy might be useful but I'd think that going for this in the short term could save a lot of problems in the immediate future.

Diamond78

Im sorry to hear about your boyfriends dad. It is only natural for him to feel the way he does. he has coped very well and is also under a lot of stress. maybe you can go with him to the gp.if he gets to see a good doctor he may be refered through the nhs but the waiting list can sometimes be long.

Sorry i cant be anymore help or advise you more.

sending you hugs x

amyparr

Thanks everyone for your kind words and advice, I'm going to have a chat with him about it - some days seem to be worse than others, today he is feeling more positive which is great. I think the way forward might be a private MRI if it continues to bother him, and then get him some counselling. We are going travelling later this year which I'm hoping will also help him, as it will get him away from the stresses at home.

Thanks again,

Amy

melancholly

the only way i can think of to get an MRI scan for free is to volunteer for some psychology studies. now these won't be done by 'medical doctors', but they are ethically obliged to pass on any information that looks worrying to your GP. if you want to talk to a doctor and see the scan and have help with looking at it/understanding it, go privately, but i don't know what they cost (but i do know an hour on the scanner can be £300-£500 for university researcg!). if that is an unthinkable cost, try registering interest at some universities in London (this is not a great plan B, but is the only way i can think of to try and get it for free).

here are some websites where you can register to volunteer in london:
http://bucni.psychol.ucl.ac.uk/Volunteer/default.aspx
http://www.fil.ion.ucl.ac.uk/Volunteers/

mountainofdebt

There are companies that can give you an all over MOT but I'm not sure how much they cost.

Incidently I read an article about these that a GP wrote and he wasn't too impressed about it simply because the amount of radiation that all the xrays produce could be counter productive.

brightonman123

would bupa do / consider this, as part of their pre screening?

debsy42

Maybe get him to see his GP and ask if he can refer your BF to a neurologist who may recommend an MRI scan. The waiting lists are quite short nowadays, 2-3 weeks waiting is about the norm.