Can you do OS and work full time too?

ska_lover

I feel your pain Archer. I work fulltime in a stressful job, and struggle with this stuff as well - whilst being surrounded by people who do not work.

I think the clue is to stop comparing yourself - your house - everything - to other people. Just do what you can do, and leave the rest.

Softstuff

I didn't do half of what I do now when I worked. In fact when things were particularly bad at work we had a cleaner who also did the ironing, hubby did half of everything else and we ate a lot of takeout.

When we made a choice for me not to work it was dependent on me doing so many things from scratch at home, so we could afford it. It turns out too that I like it.

So no, people don't do everything, you have to do what works.

maman

I'd agree with jojo in principle. Since it's bothering you, do whatever it takes to get yourself sorted so that you start from a clean slate. If that means taking some time off or buying in help to get yourself organised then do it!

From there, it's a case of keeping on top of things and being organised.

If you're not there most of the time (because you're working) then the house is't going to get messy. There are lots of ways of keeping it up to speed. I clean the bathroom after most showers, have a quick hoover and dust at weekends and then spend a day on a proper clean every 6/8 weeks. Wipe around the kitchen after clearing up your meal. You might prefer to clean a room a week. Whatever you decide, have a plan!

I always have a meal plan and a shopping list which means I can whizz around the SM in no time. or you can do online shopping if you prefer. I batchcook (usually on a weekend afternoon while I'm doing other things) some HM ready-meals like bolognese, chilli, curry so that I've always got something ready if I'm too busy/CBA to cook.

I've always caught up with things at weekends, others prefer to do a bit during the week instead.

Above all, get organised, have a plan. I'm sure you're good at your job, transfer those skills to your home life!

Callie22

Meal planning is a big help to me. I spend half an hour or so on a Sunday evening planning the week's meals, then I write a shopping list from that. I try to plan at least one meal a week that I can do a double batch of and freeze - bolognaise, chilli, curry etc. I find that planning this way saves me time, money and hassle. I don't need to pop to the shops to 'top-up', and I'm not stressing about what I'm going to cook every night.

Cleaning I try to do regularly, rather than letting it get to a point where I have to spend all weekend. I tend to have one weekend a month where I do a blitz and clean all through, but for the rest of the time I try to keep on top of it on a daily basis - vacuum upstairs one night, clean windows or change the bedding another, mop floors another. I try to do a wipe down of the bathroom on a daily basis too.

Veg growing I can't do (we rent and can't put anything in the garden) but I do make jam and pickle stuff if it's cheap/free. However I like doing this so it's a Saturday afternoon / Sunday morning treat to me, not a chore.

ETA - I also love lists. I have many - a daily list of things I'd like to achieve (i.e. pay x bill, change bedding, 1 load of washing, find x paperwork) then then another list of bigger, longer term jobs that need doing as and when. I find it helps me to stay on top of stuff.

babyshoes

I know that reading threads on here can seem like some people do it all, but that is the cumulitive effect of reading everyone's individual contribution to that subject. In reality, you pick and choose the elements that work for you. Decide on your priorities and let the rest slide by - "good enough" and "that'll do" really is good enough for most of us, most of the time.

My home is horribly cluttered, so that is something I am working on, slowly- see the hoarding thread for more people who can't do it all, but are trying to work on their priorities. In a cluttered home, we have always made a distinction between 'clean' and 'tidy'. Our kitchen may be untidy, but it is certainly clean enough to prepare food in.

I usually make time to cook a proper meal, but we do have standby "easy meals" for CBA nights - things like bangers, frozen mash and frozen veg as a relatively healthy alternative to takeaways / microwave meals. There are of course also occasions when we have instant meals, usually with yellow stickers on them! We make jams, juice, cider and beer through the year - but with both of us working together on something we enjoy it isn't an arduous task, and we usually do it at the weekend. As a bonus the home produce makes great presents so we save money on those. We wouldn't do it if it was a huge chore!

Depression is a nasty illness. It can seriously skew your perception of reality! I do hope you can get through it quickly. Try making a list of your top 2-3 priorities in the house and concentrate only on those, then let the rest get by on a minimum of work - then spend the rest of your time doing something that will make you feel good!

poet123

Nobody can do it all. It is a myth. If you can afford help, pay for it, if not be kind to yourself. A spot of dust, a take away, a spot of smoothing rather than ironing will not stop the world.

Hermia

Archer0710 wrote: »

And work full time?

I read all the inspiring threads on here about how people turn their lives around, sort the house, keep on top of the finances, batch cook, grow their own veg, crochet pickle etc and it sounds amazing.

I can just about keep my house nice (I usually spend most of the weekend cleaning) but paperwork bogs me down, I do the basics in the kitchen but never find time to do full shops (I HATE grocery shopping) but never feel on top of it. I am surrounded by people who don't work and i feel like I have to achieve what they do and more. Yes I know I pile myself under pressure.

I have a stressful job with an hour travel time and it's not always 9-5) my OH is forces and I have 2 dogs, 2 cars, a garden that grows by the second and flaming depression.

Gosh I am waffling now, to bring it back on track how do you juggle everything? I feel like I need a few extra hours in the day.

So without a time machine and a cleaner (I did think about it but don't want just anyone in my house) how do you do it?


If I took a week off I could get on top of it all but staying there?

If you work full-time (and commute) you cannot expect to do all the OS stuff that someone with a lot of time on their hands do. Just pick and choose. For example, I would never start growing veg (or doing any form of gardening) as I just don't have the time (I work full-time too). But I don't regard myself as being a lesser person because I go to the greengrocers, especially as I am supporting a small local business by doing that. I also buy all my cleaning products. I once got a book out of the library on OS cleaning methods, but most of them did take time to carry out. I am not spending my one day off a week scrubbing things with lemon and vinegar. But, I do batch cook and I make & repurpose things.

A few years ago my home was ridiculously cluttered and untidy and I did actually take a week off work to sort it out. And I did spend that whole week cleaning and tidying and taking ENDLESS bags to the charity shop and dump. It was absolutely knackering, but I am glad I did it because it has been so much easier to keep on top of things since them. Now I just have a little declutter and tidy whenever I see one area getting a bit out of hand. You should only do this if you think you will actually carry it out as it would be very disheartening to take the time off and not achieve anything.

Don't compare yourself to other people, especially if they don't work. Look at them and imagine they were out of the house for 12 hours every day at a stressful job. Do you honestly think they would still be doing all the things they manage to do now?

gingerandrubarb

I can't really say anymore than what everyone else has said which I think has hit the nail on the head, don't try to do what everyone else is doing and just do what you think will help you and your lifestyle.

Hugs hunny, xx

tori.k

With housework i find it easier to take one room a day once a month and have a proper deep clean, it helps that i have a 3 bed so 7 rooms in our case the rest of the month it's just really bathroom and kitchen everyday and staying on top of the washing and throwing the hover round as required, when im cooking i tend to double up meals one for tea and one for the freezer, paperwork is probably where i let myself down im getting better i keep the shredder plugged in next to my desk and as it comes thru the door i filter what i need and whats to keep but in honesty the kept stuff does tend to get filed in a kitchen drawer in no order but most of what we do is paperless nowadays so most is dealt with online, The garden is my joy the grass does get away from me at times i found it's easier since we moved to raised beds i take my coffee outside weather permitting and just have a bit of a weed round the beds as im drinking it, but each year i think i should really get a local chap to cut my grass over the summer like i do with the windows, the cars i delegated to DH he doesn't do a lot round the house so he can take care of that.

I think you just need to get in the mindset that people just have to take you as they find you, people are most likely more amazed about what you do get done with you working full time rather than what you don't

esmf73

Archer, know where you are as my hubby was forces. Have to agree with another poster, get someone to help do the bits you don't like. Think of it as helping them out with cash! Get a gardener - if this is your first house, then trust me, as soon as your removal van has pulled away, your neighbours will be in your garden getting the best plants - I have seen it happen.

Get a window cleaner to come monthly, your hive might be able to help here. Get a one off clean done by a company, not just from another wife who has set herself up. Shop online, first shop is the worst, then you can relax with a glass and just put it away!

People do os for different reasons - because they want to and because they can't afford not to. Cut yourself some slack and do what you want and get someone in to be where you want to be. X

Oh, and those wives around you that ont work and have kids are bored silly. Feel free to pm me if you want to chat about life as a wife. I did it for 14 yrs and know all about the little minds and the feel of expectations and the back stabbing. S