My own debt diary.

kelie

Oooh coffee, got a spare cup going Thank you for all your help by the way.

You're right about the joint account. Admittedly I dont think he would do it, but its all well and good thinking that and then he does it because of how I treated him. I do keep a very good eye on that account on my online banking but I will suggest to him that we get it to about a grand and then cancel the overdraft.

Ultimately if I can't scrape together the 30k then I will just sell as and when he wants to but i have fallen in love with the house I must admit. I do want to pay off my credit card and my mum though. Thankfully mum is interest free and the credit card was a new card with 0% on all new purchases for so long.

Lula-Hula

Hi Kelie,

Sorry hon but I'm going to join in the nagging about the freeloading b/f .

Part of my credit card debts are due to paying off the previous freeloading b/f's debts. Stupid move but was so fed up with letters, calls & visits from DCA's I ended making deals with them just to clear it all.

I now have a decent b/f who is generous when he's flush but is really a bit workshy. He still lives with his mother & has no idea about the real cost of living, & loves to spend as much time as possible here. When I had my lightbulb moment I realised that he was a contributing factor to my debts.

Feeding one adult & child is pretty cheap, feeding a man 4 days a week is like catering for an extra 2 people, and does he eat :rolleyes: . Used to bring loads of clothes here & leave them lying on the floor, drove me mad so I'd wash them : extra 2 loads of washing each week. Loves to lounge in the bath for
hours : using more hot water & electricity. Uses a debit card to pay for everything, I get paid in cash so guess who forked out for coffees, snacks etc when we went out :rolleyes:.

Sounds petty I know, but believe me it all adds up. I'm a single parent working damn hard to pay rent, bills, upkeep of car, my daughter & myself & after my LBM i realised I was never going to clear my debts unless I got tough, really tough, on myself & him. I started putting his dirty clothes into a bag & handing it to him as he left after the weekend, saying "I'm not your mother or your wife, you dont pay my bills & I dont do your washing".

He's still not working, but he's also not lounging in my bed at 11am then eating my food while I work. He wants to move in, I want an Aston Martin, but I cant afford either !

I got tough & refused to be sponged off but he still wants to be with me. Get tough with your b/f & see what he really wants, either way you wont lose.

Believe in yourself & your right to be treated with respect.

lula

Poosmate

Yay! Lula-Hula - you go girl!

Hope you're listening to this Kelie! lol

Poo

Lula-Hula

Thanks Poosmate,

It's this site, it has a strange effect on me, makes me feel all 'empowered' .

Dont know about you, but I was stunned just how many people out there are in debt & dealing with it. Feels like joining a secret army. Love it when loan companies ring me up & say "are you struggling with your debts ?" I just reply "thanks for your concern but actually I'm snowballing, not struggling". They havent got a clue what I'm on about .

Of course the real reason I cant let b/f move in is I'd never be allowed to hang out here on a friday night

Need sleep now so goodnight
lula

marksandsparksgal

Throwing my 2cents in - the bf needs a kick up the backside! (Most of them do at some point, so if you get yours out of the way now, you're sorted for the next few years lol!)

Lol @ Lula's snowballing comment. :D:D

Poosmate

Thanks Lula keep snowballing!

Sleep well

Good night

Poo

kelie

Aww thanks Lula, I do see what you are saying I honestly do. Thankfully I don't actually own a washing machine I take all mine to my mums hehe (comes back ironed too result!) so his parents do all his... but it's not just about washing is it..

He's got a much more serious problem which is adding to my debt. At first when we met we didn't have any of this but since he was sacked in January he started betting. First it was normal betting which was losing a fiver here, a fiver there. Still not good I know but its not turned into spread betting which if you don't know what that means, they say for example a batsman in cricket will score between 30 and 35 runs before getting out. You either say higher or lower and place a bet of say for example £10 a run. Now if the batsman gets 0 runs, you lose £10 multiplied by 30. If he scores 36 runs you make £10.

This is very very risky and I have paid off £500 of debt since it started. I know I need to close the account down (its in my name) but im a little worried about how he will take the news. I think I need to book in for some counselling!

marksandsparksgal

Kelie, this has to stop right now! This betting malarky sounds TOTALLY dangerous (as you've rightly said), and the fact he's using your money to do it is extremely worrying. Good luck, and I think you're right, in that some counselling could be the way forward.

kelie

Things might be fixed sooner than I thought re the boyfriend. I got rather drunk last night and sent him a very nasty text message about him using me and never giving anything back.

No phone call, no text, nothing

lisabell

Hi

Sorry to be rude and butt in but have just read all this post and had to reply i think its a good thing that you got drunk and sent him that text and its good if you dont hear off him.
He just sounds like a waste of space and by you having that drink has given you the confidence to tell him how you feel he is taking you for a ride and it has to stop its not fair on you you are meant to be in a relationship together equal partnership and it sounded like he was the one taking it all whilst you worked your butt off.
I do hope you get this sorted and in reply to you finding £30k have you thought about mystery shops and survey websites, cashback websites etc..
Lisa x