How do you keep a small wedding small????

Lorne

Evening all,

We are having wedding traumas! Things are starting to get a little out of control as we are getting in to the inviting as 'not wanting to upset' people. We are at risk of adding thousands to our budget as a result of it, anyone been in this position, any advice???

Kavanne

Immediate. Family. Only.

TBH I don't care about 'upsetting' people, it's my wedding, if they want to go to a wedding they can have their own!!

Jem8472

As above, With our wedding we talked about the problem of upsetting people but we came to the decision that if anyone was upset by what we are doing then its their own problem.

Dont worry about other people you will find someone will not be happy about something so dont bother trying. Just make sure its what you want.

MrsTinks

I've managed to upset several people by not inviting them... most of them relatives
To be honest I don't care. I don't get or send them cards any other time, why on earth should I invite them to my wedding???
It's YOUR wedding and they'll get over not being onvited in time

reehsetin

having that problem right now, so far so many people just assume their coming!! even the small engagement is gonna get big ! nightmare!

OberonSH

I've had a lot of trauma with my family and as such am treading the same line 'if we invite X, Y won't be happy' etc. It's a nightmare! If we had the money, we'd have gone to Florida without telling anyone like my aunt did!

We're having family and very close friends only at the actual wedding, and having a self-catered buffet in the evening, currently standing at 60 people, so possibly the smallest, cheapest wedding ever! The route we've gone is - if we don't like them or know them that well, we've not invited them. If you think of the reception as just being a big party, would you invite that person to a house-party? If not, they come off the list. After all, you have to spend the evening with them! If people get narky, just tell them you didn't win the lottery, and so couldn't invite the world and his wife!

Seriously, it's your wedding, and if people get upset they've not been invited, maybe they should have a think as to why you didn't feel the need to invite them.

Lorne

Thank you all so much for your responses, it has really helped to know that we are not alone in this! We definitely have the relatives 'expecting' to be invited which is difficult as we know they won't be coming.

We need to finalise our lists and stick to them, we need to have a real think about it.

Thanks for the support, much appreciated.

LilDevil

Yup, we've got a similar problem - OH is from the family of the 5000!!! Even his immediate family will be around 50 (3 sisters, all with hubs/2-4 kids, who in turn have 1-4 kids!).

We've settled for his mum, sisters and their husbands - if the rest are that worried, they can pay for the meal themselves.

Not only that, the venue doesn't hold that many - 30 for ceremony/breakfast and up to 150 for the evening. We could use a bigger room if we had more for the breakfast, but as I said, if they want to come they have to pay for it as our budget just can't cope with that number of people!!

Lorne

This really is a common problem isn't it?? I can't get over how cheeky some family members are expecting invitations and planning their outfits already, even though we haven't told them we've booked anything or have a date. I've gone from not wanting to upset them to thinking they are cheeky overnight!

Lemon_Tree

we're trying for a small wedding as well, we've had to put our foot down with a firm hand lol i've been practicing saying NO to my mum who's started with a few demands but we're getting there. I guess she was lucky she had free rein with my sisters and could invite the entire family as she's up against a tougher cookie than my sister was, but then she was 14 years younger than i am currently and still living at home.

Horace

I remember when I got married, I managed to keep my wedding small - I only invited family and a few very close friends to the actual wedding and reception then we de-camped to my parents house (I remember feeling throughly unsociable so spent time in the garden away from people). My parents organised a party for their friends etc immediately afterwards (basically we had tea, present opening, and a few drinks).

Mind you I was naughty and gave my mother 6 weeks to organise the thing. I wasnt pregnant or anything silly like that - I just liked the idea of getting married. What was that old saying - marry in haste and repent at leisure (well, I have been doing that LOL).