I dont know if we can afford to get married???

elldes

Me and my partner have been together 8yrs engaged 6yrs of the 8yrs.
My partner always asks me to marry him but i am a little worried as i dont think we can afford to! I would love to marry him as i know he is the one for me, but how can we afford to pay for a wedding?
We have 4 children ages from; 16, 14, 12 and 5 yrs of age and i know they would so much want to be involved. When i sit down and think about gettin married i feel so happy normality kicks in and i realise i will never, we will never be able to pay for a wedding!
I dont know the first thing on how to go about it or who to see WITHOUT PAYING! It would have to be a very tight budget wedding, but could it still be a nice wedding? :huh: :huh:

bernard_ric

The main thing is that now you have decided to marry then do it. We get married later this year and have decided that we will do it our way. We have set a budget that is modest by modern standards but that does not tell the whole tale as we have included things we need to do to make the house suitable for a gathering of friends and relatives who we will be unable to invite to the actual event due to the capacity of the venue.

It is possible to have a great time without going tot he lengths deemed 'necessary' by some so check for tips by using the search button on this site.

Can it be still be a nice wedding? Yes it darned well can - Both my Son and My daughter have had weddings that did not cost a fortune and they were both great weddings to be at. Big is definitely not best in my humble opinion.

All the very best for the day and the future.

Magpye

Weddings can be achieved very cheaply - I know this because I have been there and done it myself. The main points you need to look at is what you can afford to budget and then what are willing to compromise on - dress, venue, honeymoon, flowers etc.

If you want a huge affair then, yes, it is going to cost you; but it can be done a lot cheaper particularly if you are not bothered about having (m)any guests.

lady_stardust

I'd second this. We spent £8000 on our day and not meaning to sound ungrateful to the family who contributed, we realised afterwards that most of it was fun but pretty superficial and ultimately it would have lost no meaning if we had got the bus to the registry office and married in our jeans. The getting married part is what is really important - anything else is just a bonus!

floss2

Take a look at the Weddings sub-board.....there is lots of help on there for a budget wedding without scrimping on your day

ldavies_3

My husband and I married 2 years ago after 12 years together. We decided to get married when my FIL became v ill. The whole thing took 2 weeks to arrange and cost under 1k with the rings being the most expensive. We had a set 3 course lunch in a nice hotel in the afternoon then went home to party for 2 days......... fantastic time and very memorable.

It can be done

HelzBelz

As Catwoman1975 said all you really NEED is the registry office, afterwards you could just go out for a meal or down the pub, but if you wanted a reception try sports clubs like the local cricket/rugby/football clubs a lot of these rent out their rooms relatively cheaply, friend are doing this at the moment, the room's only about £20 and then they pay the bar staff and are doing their own catering., but their room is soo cheap because they're having the wedding on a Friday when the club house would normally be standing idle, Their parents are paying for a car for them for the day and this is also cheaper because it's not the standard Weekend wedding

gracie83

I am looking at a very cheap wedding!
Registry office paperwork and ceremony - £100
Rings (have to have 18ct gold to match engagement ring OH 9ct)- £150
Dress (not white just a good dress I can wear again)- around £100
Suit for him (again not overly formal but wearable again) - around £100
Photos - the two dad's have cameras!
Pub meal after- I hope we dont have to pay for all but if we do around £200 ish? (only 7 guest including me and new husband)
Honeymoon - hopefully free as a gift from our parents.

So all told - £450 definetly or £650 with us paying for meal. (still looking for cheap clothes/rings so these are maximums)

We are like you we have been together for so long everyone assumes we are a married couple anyway so we are just keeping it small and family based.

margaretclare

We got married in 2002 with a 3-day honeymoon and lunch for 18 people at a local pub/restaurant. We weren't charged for the actual ceremony because it was in the church we normally attend, and Methodist churches don't charge for members' weddings. Music was played from a CD of wedding music. Our friends at church did the flowers and helped a lot.

We had to pay £30 each to the registrar's office to 'notify our intention to marry' and we were quizzed to make sure we knew each other so it wasn't a forced or fraudulent marriage.

With 3 days' honeymoon in the Cotswolds, the whole thing came to approx £1K. But it could have cost even less than that. As others have said, the main thing is the 'marriage' and not the 'wedding'. DH's idea was just us, the minister and 2 friends as witnesses, and that would have cost us nothing at all, except for the £30 each that we'd already paid to the registrar. I couldn't get married without music, flowers, someone to give me away and someone to carry the ring-cushion (the oldest man at church and a little lad, son of friends at church). It would have been just as much a 'wedding', we'd have been just as married, if we'd done it as DH wanted.

HTH

JimmyTheWig

Agree with Catwoman. That's just what I was going to say.
Do you want to be married? Then just do it, as best as you can afford.
Or do you want a big wedding? Then put it off until you win the lottery. Chances are, though, it would never happen. If you've waited 6 years and are no closer to getting the big day why would things be any different another 6 years down the line?

Food and drink are one of the biggest expenses. So either seriously restrict the guest list or get them to buy their own. Why not have the reception in a local restaurant and explain in the invites that they will have to pay their own bill. Obviously you could say that, with them doing that, you wouldn't expect a wedding gift.

Clive_Woody

There are all sorts of ways of saving money rather than going for the full package and spending £1000s. You go to any shop (cake, florist, dress, car hire, invites, cattering, drinks, photographer, etc...) and say the word 'wedding' and everything shoots up in price.

At the end of the day I think the minimum cost is somthing like £30 for a registry office do. Where you go from there is up to you and what you can afford.

Cake - M&S do a really nice range of wedding cakes, you buy as many layers as you think you need.

Flowers - don't mention they are for a wedding, just order soem from your local florists

Reception - well pretty much anything goes from a quick drink afterwards in your local with a few friends, to a sit down meal for a 100+ people and a disco late into the night

Car Hire - have any friends got interesting or quirky cars? If not see if any local taxi firms have a nicy big shiny Merc you could hire for the trip from the church to the reception

Dress - Debenhams do a range of wedding dresses a lot cheaper than specialist shops, or look for a second hand dress. More parctical is get a dress that cna be used again and again

Suit - M&S do a range of very cheap suits, many are even machine washable

Drinks - There's all sorts of cheap deals on wine from Tesco's and the like, or nip over to France for a booze cruise

Invites - make your own, or ask your Mum and Dad, or sister/brother to make these as their wedding gift to you.

Anything else - surf the internet for ideas before buying, there are loads of money saving ideas out there.