Private school fees (merged)

emsywoo123

Hi Discodee, thanks for the kind words re pops!
Anyhoo, I do not want to disclose why DD is better in a smaller class, but she just is (yes it is partly medical) and what annoys me is that I made the class size statement in good faith, and someone comes along and starts ripping me to shreds about it! S/he didn't ask the whys or wherefores, just starts using it against me!!

Tim_L

Totally agree about the area in the middle being the one that's squeezed.

I think a lot of this argument is really about parents being concerned and squeezed and defending their own choices, especially when they feel that others are buying advantages for their children and resent that (or from the other direction resent the idea that they shouldn't be able to pay for a different type of education). And I think personally that you have to try to understand where parents are coming from and accept that they will all just be doing the best for their children, rather than to try to make relative value judgements in different circumstances.

It will always be possible to pay money and improve life chances, and you can always find rich idiots pulling themselves up with their old school ties. But ultimately if you skip on 10 or 20 years, you see that people tend to find their own level. There's a contemporary of mine who took the apprenticeship route at my school, and he's now running the sales division and making a mint. I was academic, and have a lesser role, but you can see from the type of person my colleague is that he was always going to succeed in a particular direction. So fundamentally I'm happy with my own choices for my children, but they may well be outshone in some areas by (say) discodee's children who took a different path, or indeed by someone very talented from a "sink" comprehensive. It's really about recognizing the individual and their talents and providing a route for them to shine, rather than treating everyone as the same and celebrating mediocrity.

emsywoo123

Tim_L wrote: »

Totally agree about the area in the middle being the one that's squeezed.

I think a lot of this argument is really about parents being concerned and squeezed and defending their own choices, especially when they feel that others are buying advantages for their children and resent that (or from the other direction resent the idea that they shouldn't be able to pay for a different type of education). And I think personally that you have to try to understand where parents are coming from and accept that they will all just be doing the best for their children, rather than to try to make relative value judgements in different circumstances.

It will always be possible to pay money and improve life chances, and you can always find rich idiots pulling themselves up with their old school ties. But ultimately if you skip on 10 or 20 years, you see that people tend to find their own level. There's a contemporary of mine who took the apprenticeship route at my school, and he's now running the sales division and making a mint. I was academic, and have a lesser role, but you can see from the type of person my colleague is that he was always going to succeed in a particular direction. So fundamentally I'm happy with my own choices for my children, but they may well be outshone in some areas by (say) discodee's children who took a different path, or indeed by someone very talented from a "sink" comprehensive. It's really about recognizing the individual and their talents and providing a route for them to shine, rather than treating everyone as the same and celebrating mediocrity.

Tim I think that might be a thread closer! Good on you!

Mado

emsywoo123 wrote: »

I found this post utterly insulting.:mad:

I am sorry you find it insulting.
I just expressed my thoughts based on what I read in your posts, and yes I have read your posts.
"and I support grammar education for secondary children. Yes I know I am making huge assumptions, but that is my plan for the forseeable!!"
and the fact that you can state you can only fund private education until year 6.

Now excuse me for mis-reading that.

Discodee

There's nothing to suggest tho emsy that a private school would be any better. There are several state schools providing excellent provisions for children with social and medical needs and if you as a parent are providing good support in conjunction with that then you may find a state school just as good and you'll have plenty of money for other things!

have a look round and ask questions. There is a belief that private schols are better just because of the old adage "You get what you pay for." As is proved with the primark debate, that isn't always the case!!

It is everyone's right to choose their kid's school, of course, but don't just discount state schools!!

Mado

Tim_L wrote: »

And I think personally that you have to try to understand where parents are coming from and accept that they will all just be doing the best for their children, rather than to try to make relative value judgements in different circumstances.

I agree with your post.
But, again, I would also like people to understand that the best for their children isn't always academia.

Mado

Discodee wrote: »

There's nothing to suggest tho emsy that a private school would be any better. There are several state schools providing excellent provisions for children with social and medical needs and if you as a parent are providing good support in conjunction with that then you may find a state school just as good and you'll have plenty of money for other things!

Spot on.
There is a little girl at my kids school who has serious learning difficulties.
She was in a private nursery and the parents were advised that she would be much better in a State school where she could get support. She is statemented and has a learning assistant with her all the time.
She is well accepted by the other children, who just accept that she is different.

Discodee

You're right Tim
However can I just say that although my kids are very bright and I would think they'll do well, I'd rather they have a happy and fulfilling life and work in mcDonalds than have high powered jobs and be miserable!

I left school after my O levels much to my parents disgust. however i always worked hard, and had 3 jobs before I had my kids. We have a nice house, have almost paid the mortgage off, have several hols a year and most importantly I have a nice hubby and 2 healthy kids and that to me is everything

Discodee

interesting debate this.
However I have been making beds and putting washing out in between posting and I really must go to tesco now LOL before picking the kids up from school. (Well I meet D part of the way back cos it's a long walk!)
have a nice day all

Tim_L

I had great O Level results, tailed off completely at A level as I discovered there were more interesting things to do in life than schoolwork, and left University without a degree, then built a career as a software engineer on my wits. Paid off my mortgage last year and paying school fees via gambling on horse racing.

Your mileage may differ.