Private school fees (merged)

Dick_here

Discodee wrote: »

However, you only have to look at these forums really and see the difference in the grasp of English the younger generation have.

How many people cannot differentiate between your and you're, there their and they're, where were and we're?

Spot on. It's embarrassing to read at times. My OH is from overseas, English is a learned second language to her (not even bi-lingual as a child) yet she can write in English better than 99.9% of people who have it as a first language. A shocking indictment of our appalling education system.

Tim_L

Discodee wrote: »

But Tim my DD is the ONLY girl in her class of 30 odd who wasn't tutored!

Yes, but that doesn't mean that has to be the case if the system were different. It's an expectation that's built up as the competition for places gets more extreme. Most of these parents would have kicked themselves from here to Timbuktoo if their child hadn't got in because they hadn't made the effort to tutor him or her, so they can't really not do it.

All the same, well done to your daughter for proving my point!

Discodee

little_lily wrote: »

As a privately educated toff myself, I may well have been too busy bullying/cramming/playing bridge/eating wood pigeon (please select private school stereotype of your choice) to take full advantage of my educational opportunities and apologies if I am being a bit slow here - but how can 'one of the top schools in the country' achieve that status if most of its pupils are 'well below average'??!! :rotfl:

Please let's be rational! It is human nature to want the best for our children. - whatever we perceive that best to be. Each system has its drawbacks - the state system is by nature more inclusive, both academically and socially, but the private system almost universally offers better academic results (see league tables), smaller class sizes (see OFSTED reports), improved discipline (because it can, without recourse, exclude disruptive pupils) and greater extra-curricular opportunities (this week, my children will both play in sports matches on Wednesday afternoon, both play chess (nerdy, I know) and both swim - ALL during school hours. After school, son will do drums and golf and daughter will do drama, trampolining, Russian and piano)

Both of my children are educated privately, one at a prep school and one at a senior, single sex boarding school. No, I never considered the state sector. That may well make me a snob, a social climber, a pushy parent, a morally bankrupt human being or all of the above but for me, the advantages offered by the private sector outweigh the advantages of the state sector.

And, one final point - I am a stay at home mum (sadly, don't fit the previous poster's stereotype of a workaholic, too-busy-earning-the-school-fees-to-see-the-children parent!) as are the majority of my friends at the school gates.

I make this post not (as I am sure I will be accused) to be self-congratulatory but to give a different perspective on a system that, whether we like it or not, exists. I don't enjoy paying twice for my children's education but whilst I can afford to do it, I shall because I believe it offers different opportunities for my children.

OK Firstly, I did say in a previous post that they push them at my DDs school giving them copious amounts of homework and extra tutoring for those who are lacking, to ensure they meet the standards they have set.

I'm sure you'll realise anyway in todays world you can pass GSES and still be unable to spell, punctuate or use correct grammar. (See my previous post)
I didn't say everyone in the school was thick, and when i said my daughter is a whole level above everyone else, she is probably a whole level above MOST in the country . She is in NGATY and is and always has been very able. So there are still people a level below her who are fairly capable. however there are plenty of children who just cannot write properly and who struggle with simple maths. Half her class didn't get what is a quarter of 36 last year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:eek:
I hear the way a lot of these girls speak and I have seen cards and letters they have written to my DD.

Your decision to send your kids to private is of course yours, but you can obviously afford it without compromising fun and a full life for your children.
I don't think anyone means to actually slag anyone off. I have always been looked down on by parents of kids in private schools as being inferior. its as if private school is a staus symbol. That may not be you at all, obviously, but the people i know who do have kids in private schools are very like that.
Its like they'll refuse to buy clothes from primark as they're too cheap, when actually they're pretty darned good, and a fraction of the price!


My kids have both gone through the state system with my help and are doing jolly well! No, I couldn't afford to go private; my hubby earns 15k a year and I gave up work to stay with them, (but we do get several hols a year and have lots of fun days out)
I just wonder if you didn't have the money would your kids truly have fared any worse????? As you're a hands on mum, I truly doubt it, but the decision is yours and good luck to you.

Discodee

!!!!!!_here wrote: »

Spot on. It's embarrassing to read at times. My OH is from overseas, English is a learned second language to her (not even bi-lingual as a child) yet she can write in English better than 99.9% of people who have it as a first language. A shocking indictment of our appalling education system.

Look at football
Mourhino and Wenger speak better English than Wayne Rooney and Steven Gerrard!:rolleyes:

Discodee

Tim_L wrote: »

Yes, but that doesn't mean that has to be the case if the system were different. It's an expectation that's built up as the competition for places gets more extreme. Most of these parents would have kicked themselves from here to Timbuktoo if their child hadn't got in because they hadn't made the effort to tutor him or her, so they can't really not do it.

All the same, well done to your daughter for proving my point!

Yes but I'd say 90% of them in her class would not have passed without tuiton.
However there are tons of kids sitting in comps who COULD have passed it without tuiton but their parents didn't realise it!

I personally do not agree with tutoring.
If they can't pass themselves they'll be struggling and pressurised. Not the ideal environment in which to learn.

emsywoo123

Mado wrote: »

If I am honest, what really bugs me with emsywoo's position is that she assumes that because she is in a private school, her DD will automatically go on to grammar school. The girl is 4 ; that is the kind of attitude that I despair of.
Please at least have the common decency to read my posts before having a go..........I have never said nor assumed that DD will get into grammar, I said I HOPED!!! and I do, not going to deny that, but there is no problem if she does not

I have no objection to private schools. But please people, set realistic objectives to your child. Emsy says the girl couldn't cope with 20 children in reception.....Well, she couldn't.
I feel sorry for this little girl if her whole life is already geared towards going to grammar school.
Do NOT pity my daughter or imply that I am putting undue pressure on her.
maybe she will. But then again, maybe she won't.
Who knows, they may not be around in 7 years time. Emsy and her boyfriend may move... Life can be full of surprises... I know, For example, my father had a heart attack last week. I understand the whole "nothing set in stone thing" you know

I found this post utterly insulting.:mad:

Discodee

ooh by the way little lily, my kids love swimming ( both can swim a mile) playing chess, DS is a top footballer, and I am an advanced qualified trampoline coach!

My DS (9) loves to do sudokus and word workouts. We do about 3 a night together but I had to buy him books as he loves doing them that much! And he isnt a nerd, he plays footie, loves his playstation, trades cards, and we have a snooker table and table tennis table in the front room (not up at the same time lol) etc etc

Tim_L

Discodee wrote: »

I have always been looked down on by parents of kids in private schools as being inferior. its as if private school is a staus symbol. That may not be you at all, obviously, but the people i know who do have kids in private schools are very like that.
Its like they'll refuse to buy clothes from primark as they're too cheap, when actually they're pretty darned good, and a fraction of the price!

I doubt that really, and I don't recognize it from the parents in the school my children go to. And I agree with the comments on Primark, which is where I buy a lot of clothes myself, when I actually buy clothes.

It's true that where you will find snobs it's amongst people with money, and you need to have some money to send children to private school. And if there is someone you marginally don't like because you find them snobbish, you're going to thoroughly resent them if you think they're waving their wad mockingly at your own children. But most people aren't like that at all, in fact most parents of children at private school are really struggling with finances to support their choices. They have to defend those choices to themselves constantly, so can become defensive with others. It's probably some of that that you're seeing.

Discodee

but emsy how can you say your DD wont cope with 20 kids hun?

let me tell you something right,

My DS started nursery at 3. he could go early as he was sept birthday, so started the christmas after he was 3.
I had to go in with him and they'd only allow him half an hr a day at first as he was so disruptive. I suspected he was autistic when he was a year old. I was told not as he was too loving, but I always thought soemthing wasnt right. At 3 I was told he had adhd and aspergers. he wouldnt interact with other kids, had no attention span and was NEVER still. he also wasnt toilet trained when he started.
He gradually built up his time there. I would go with him. All the time I refused to give him ritalin and decided I'd do it my way. I always walked to school with him to expend energy. before all the jamie oliver stuff I avoided ALL artificial food additives (Far harder then as they were in everything) he still now drinks water rather than anything else.
So he did jan to sep then a full year in nursery.
When he finished to go into reception he was interacting with everyone, he was reading and writing, still v ery hyperactive,. but a different child. then went into a class of 30 odd. This was also in a school with awful league tables etc
he has gone from strength to strength. yes he still has his moments and yes he gets in a paddy about things but he gets glowing reports, is top of his class, and I did it with encouragement and his teachers aid to me if he'd been brought up in a different environment he'd be a different child.
Class sizes mean nothing and if a child with problems like mine had can thrive and do well in a large class in a bad state school, anyone's can given the right input.
Sorry to hear about yur dad btw. My uncle had a leaking aorta 2 weeks ago (he's 81) and we're all quite worried. Hope your dad is OK.

Discodee

Tim where I live there are some very affluent areas and then some very bad sink estate areas.
It's usually the people in the middle, in a nice semi in a fairly nice part, like myself who become snobby! lol
Same tho with grammar school. I'll admit myself I am proud my daughter got to grammar, BUT I know she did it because she is bright. many people find grammar a status symbol and "Oh what'll we do if she doesn't pass" is very prevalent.