Weekly Flylady Thread 21st April 2008

JillD_2

aarrghh tell me to wise up. MIL has just phoned. I saw her number and ignored it. And now I feel guilty.

She is useless, she lives about 3 miles away, has seen us about 5 times since LO was born 7 months ago. She didn't even see LO til she was a week old. She asked to come round for her birthday for a party tea - cake, jelly, ice-cream - when LO was 5 days old. Just what I needed - and then after I prepared it all she cancelled on the day. She cancelled coming to DD's party on the day, she cancelled coming for Mother's Day on the day, she never bothered phoning DS to wish him luck or anything on his first day of school. We haven't seen her for about 6 weeks now. She never babysits or offers to help when I am on my own when DH is away. She refused to come over one afternoon to look after DS (who was about 10 months old) when I had a tummy bug and was almost projectile vomiting when pregnant with DD. She is depressed, we are fairly sure of that, and we reach out to her a lot but she never accepts, and I try really hard to give her a break sort of thing, but I must admit the cancelling of the party tea on her birthday when LO was 5 weeks old really really hacked me off.

Anyway I still feel really guilty for not answering the phone. it probably took quite a lot for her to pick up the phone. But she doesn't even know DS is away, that juist shows the lack of contact she has with us. He's an only child, she's on her own, our kids are her only grandchildren. She has no friends and 2 sisters that she's fallen out with and refuses to speak to. So I know she's really lonely. Am I selfish to think I have enough issues of my own to be going on with , I just can't face trying to deal with her issues as well. arrrghhhhh and now I feel cross with her for phoning and making me guilty and cross!!!!

Mudbath

Oi! Stop feeling guilty! You did the right thing...she'll phone back if she wants to and then you can decide if the time is right for a chat. You're as bad as me with guilt. Today's mantra is; I will not feel guilty for not doing things that I do not want to do!!! Go sit on your bum and relax xxxx

skintscotslass

Jill - you have enough on your plate to worry about. I'd be really hacked off with her too. Ignore it. DH can phone her when he gets back. You look after yourself and the kids xx

Pink_Fairy_2

Evening all

You've all been very busy! Hello to any new people. :wave: and hugs :grouphug:to anyone needing one.

Mudbath - sorry to hear about your thumb. I hope it's better soon.

Soappie - your kitchen is fabulous. Mine is quite awkward, galley style with the dining room door across one end and the outside door and utility room entrance facing each other across the other end, so there's not much I can do about it.

I had a rubbish day at work. I already had the beginnings of a migraine when I drove 40 miles to do 5 signups. There was only one person waiting, who told me straight away that she couldn't read. She sadi she had one to one support when she was at school. I explained about the course and showed her the initial assessment test, explained the first question and asked if she could show me the correct answer. "No. I can't read it!" Her manager had put her forward for a Foundation Modern Apprenticeship incorporating key skills in Numeracy and Literacy. How?????? :eek: The second one turned up. Activities coordinator/carer. Conversation went: "How much care do you do?" "Not much" "Well, you need to do a minimum of 16 hours per week to warrant the funding." "I don't do anything like that. I only do bank." "Well, I'm sorry but we can't give you Welsh Assembly funding for this qualification." "Don't bother me. I've got more than enough qualifications!" and he walked out!

I passed it on to my management, then joined my colleague in Cardiff, worked with her and then went for a late pub lunch. Tomorrow, we're off to Frome to meet our manager and she's taking us out for lunch. Bargain! Maybe I won't change my job after all!

Manic Monday - Kitchen, Utility and Dining Room/Area

Level One
Clean floors in these areas - DO TUESDAY AM BEFORE WORK, WHEN NO BIG FEET AROUND!

Level Two
[STRIKE] Wipe down surfaces
Wipe kitchen cupboard fronts and kickboards
Wipe down fronts of major appliances (cooker, fridge, freezer etc) and inside the microwave[/STRIKE]

Level Three
[STRIKE] Dust any extra furniture in dining area, checking for cobwebs on way round[/STRIKE]
Clean washer drawer, filters on the dryer, dishwasher and cooker hood filters
Clean the oven if missed last week or it needs it
Extra tasks - if you want to do more:

Wipe window sills and clean windows in these rooms
Wipe down any tiles and shine those taps, a toothbrush is great for cleaning away the gunk!
Empty one shelf (or the top of a cupboard) clean it, clean what's on it and put it all back
Clean out and organize one cupboard, more if you like
Wipe & replace small appliances like kettle, toaster etc (wipe under too, especially the toaster!)

And dailies:

[STRIKE]SS Bathroom/Shower room
DW
TD
BM
CM
Feed dogs, cats and fish
Groom dogs and cats
Walk dogs
Plan dinner
Prep for work
Personal stuff [/STRIKE]

Terrific Tuesday - Living Room, Den and Stairs

Level One
Vacuum floors in these areas, even if around clutter
Clear anything from the stairs! Safe stairs are a must

Level Two
Move clutter so you can vacuum under it
Vacuum and wipe (if needed) sofas
Dust any areas below eye level

Level Three
Dust anything above eye level (if safe to do so)
Clear anything that shouldn't be where it is!
Wipe the bits next to the steps on the stairs.
Extra Mission Tasks - as usual try one or more of these
Check where important documents like passports, birth certificates, driving licences, medical cards are and make a note of where they are and if any need replacing, changing etc
Spend 15 minutes sorting paperwork, dealing with anything urgent NOW
Wipe down window frames in these rooms (inside) clean any marks from window
Clean out the vacuum cleaner, empty the bag/bucket, clean filters if they are washable MAKE SURE YOU DON'T PUT THEM BACK UNTIL THEY ARE DRY!
20 minutes ironing time to get that pile down, and make sure you put it away!

And dailies:

SS bathroom/shower room
DW
TD
BM
CM
Feed dogs, cats and fish
Groom dogs and cats
Walk dogs
[STRIKE] Plan dinner[/STRIKE]
Prep for work
Personal stuff

pigpen

Jill.. I ALWYS ignore my MIL's cals.. and my SIL's.. I simply cannot be faffed with their selfish and self obsessed lives.. I don't care.. i simply don't.. I have no interest.

My inlaws have never babysat.. apart from one night when I was zipped to hospital at 2am in labour at 30 weeks with DS3.. They don't know the children s names or ages.. they bought DS2 a birthday card with 7 on when he was 8.. I was furious!!!

You have done the right thing.. you don't need her and her problems.. look after your own.. and let hubby call her when he gets back! Tell him she called but you couldn't get to the ohone in time and she had rung off.. works for me!

Mudbath

Oh my goodness....i've just put on a programme on bbc2 and a woman has had surgery so she can fit her feet into her favourite shoes. People are having surgery on other parts of them too that i'd best not mention on here.

I can't believe people would go through this. Jeeeeez!!! I'm normal compared with some of these people!!

Pink_Fairy_2

Bellie wrote: »

Hi jjef, just wanted to say I live in Dunfermline too. I though I was the only MSE addict round here. lol

I started school there! Pittencrieff Primary. We lived in Dewar Street, but that would have been around 1962!!!:eek:

pigpen

I have cleared some floor inmy room.. I restacked and rejigged th eboxes of christmas presents so my floor is clearer. I found 6 things from my cupboard to fling.. I haven't found the ebay boots I have lost.. WHERE ARE THEY??????????

Pink_Fairy_2

Jill - don't feel guilty! You have enough to do, and she may be depressed, but, to a certain extent, those with depression need to help themselves a bit. (No offence intended to anyone who is in this place! I've been there too.) What I mean is - you've reached out to her, but she's turned it down more than once and one day she needs to reach back and grab what you're offering.

Boddy/Mudbath - How does Reiki work, please, and particularly, how can it work "distance"?

JillD_2

Thanks everyone.
Mudbath - am sat on my bum and plan to stay here for next half hour at least except to get a coffee.

ssl - yes you're right DH can call her back

pigpen wrote: »

Jill.. I ALWYS ignore my MIL's cals.. and my SIL's.. I simply cannot be faffed with their selfish and self obsessed lives.. I don't care.. i simply don't.. I have no interest.

Thats exactly it. I dont care (maybe I should but I dont) and I have no interest in her sad self-induced-lonely life.

pigpen wrote: »

My inlaws have never babysat.. apart from one night when I was zipped to hospital at 2am in labour at 30 weeks with DS3..

When I went in to have DD, she came round to look after DS who was then 18 months. She came to the house at 10am, DD was born at 5pm and DH phoned her with the good news at 6pm. He phoned again at 9pm to say we'd been moved to the ward etc etc and she gave him a row for being so late :eek: so he came back to me and said what she had said - I was fuming - and he then left the hospital to go home. I'd wanted him to wait until I'd done a feed as DD wouldnt feed to begin with. He says now he felt terrible at having to choose between staying with me and going home. I was (and still am) so angry about her being like that when DD was a few hours old and I refused to let DH ask her to look after the two older ones when I had LO. We relied on our lovely lovely circle of friends instead as my family are all in NIreland. She was off work at home with nowt to do for the two weeks before LO was born (just a coincidence, not planned), it was the last 2 weeks of the school summer hols when I had them under my feet all day then 4 and 2, and she didn't once come round to even take them to the park for even half an hour to give me a break. She knows we have no other family for hundreds of miles. She did come round on Christmas Day which was aminor miracle.

LOL Do you think I am bitter ......... I always get like this after a baby is born and its all hard hard work, as they get a bit older it doesnt bother me so much.

pigpen wrote: »

You have done the right thing.. you don't need her and her problems.. look after your own.. and let hubby call her when he gets back! Tell him she called but you couldn't get to the ohone in time and she had rung off.. works for me!

Thats exactly what I said. When the phone rang I thought it might be DH calling from the US and leapt up all excited. How miffed was I that it was her:mad: