ebegee wrote: »
It is YOU that has no clue.
I have read this thread with interest. Clearly a very emotive subject.
As someone that has been through this trauma, i can assure you this. I am not a coward and nor am i selfish. I was driven to do what i tried to do, by the csa. Strong words you may say. But they were true in my mind.
I have three children with my ex, and i tried to pay what i could for my kids each week. I never wanted the split, and I felt very bitter about it. But it happened and i became a weekend father, through no fault of my own.
I was earning £875 a month in my job. My rent was £380, i was earning too much for housing and council tax benefit. add the gas and electric. TV licence, travel, phone etc etc .. Not an awful lot left is there i thought .. csa wanted £300 a month out of me.
I had no life and more to the point my ex in her vindictive way, poisoned my children against me. So visits to me became less and less too.
Some other man became my childrens father. and me i was supressed by the system to exist and nothing more.
In my mind at the time. i was worthless.
and that is why i attempted the ultimate act.
I am still here to tell the tale. I have not seen my children for a year.
hera123 wrote: »
tut, tut, well the quote certainly amused our household thats for certain, although a rather adolescent remark to say the least. Therefore I shall leave you to your lonely inner quest and to wave the bitterness banner with pride:T .
kelloggs36 wrote: »
The figures you have quoted MUST have included arrears, as your actual weekly maintenance would have been £27 on CS1 and £30 on CS2. So, either you didn't pay, or the CSA caused a delay which made arrears build up - now either way you will have been aware of your liability, but failed to save up for it or put some by (even if you didn't have any idea how much it would be - putting away even £20 per week would have reduced the arrears considerably). We don't have the full story here. For some reason, you were paying the full 40% of your net income, due to arrears and no other reason.
I am merely pointing out that the CSA would not have demanded £300 per month for the full time of the case - only in order to recover arrears which were due, so it would not have lasted forever.
ebegee wrote: »
Hello Kellogs, yes you dont have the full story.
It is long and complicated, and the csa failed me badly.
They have lost forms, taken months to make decisions, have said i have not paid when i had proof i did. The list goes on and on with their incompetence.
I am not blaming the csa 100% but i am just saying that in my case and others it is a large percentage and enough to do damage.
I certainly did not deserve flaming for my first post, from people that lurk on forums such as this to make spitefull hateful comments to complete strangers, and have no understanding of what its like in the first place.
hera123 wrote: »
I agree with you totally!, out of curious interest I scratched below the surface with these hardcore individuals, having reading some old threads of theirs. It's amazing how the jigsaw all falls into place regarding why some of these spitefull and hateful comments are made, as you also quite rightly quoted to complete strangers!!. ( "please have a read of some of the old threads and you will see what I mean") It's such a shame as these forums can be used in a real constructive way. I would ignore the flaming if I was you, after all they are forgetting there is also life off of here. If I ever get to a few thousand post counts!, please remind me of this..
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