Broody but can't have baby

GlasweJen

Is there any way to get rid of the "broody" feeling?

I melt to pieces when I see babies out with their parents which is bad as I work in an environment full of kids. I can't have kids right now, maybe never and there's no way anyone would give me IVF so it's unlikely I'll ever have a baby. I have all these friends telling me that they're all broody and then going into details like "oh i'm waiting til i'm 25" and "I can't afford one so we're holding off" and while we're not exactly trying but we're not trying not to (if that makes sense) I realise that the chances of conceiving are next to none and my other half is against adopting, I think it's a male thing.

I know there's nothing anyone can do I think I just needed to vent.

fsdss

GlasweJen wrote: »

Is there any way to get rid of the "broody" feeling?

.

no.....you have to work through it unfortunately to maintain a healthy mind.
can i ask how you know that you'll never have a child - have you been diagnosed with something or is it your own thoughts?

jak

BTW I tried a healthy organic diet to get pg. DH took zinc, selenium vitamins as well as a multi vit. and we both cut back on drinking/stopped smoking. Have you tried any of that kind of thing? It is amazing how it works. We tried for 11 months before we got pg and 2 months after changing our diet- we were!
It's worth a try. I've had problems in the past so we were expecting a struggle. Good luck. I know how heart breaking it can be.
J
x

Js_Other_Half

I too wonder if you've been told there are problems, and if so what can be done about them. As for being 'given' IVF - it really depends on a whole host of factors, and I truly wouldn't expect much funding in this country, regardless of what the NICE guidelines say.

You have my sympathies, but there isn't anything you can do to stop these feelings - however you can choose to do something else with them, such as changing your job, becoming closer to younger family members etc?

MERFE

Once you have those feelings I dont think they ever go away. I was in a similar situation for over 2 years my oh and I were not trying but not exactly trying not to either and its took over 2 years before DD came along at exactly the wrong time.

What makes you think you cannot have children, as I often felt like that and that maybe it would never happen but most of the time it takes a while to get pregnant. I have a friend who always said she probably wouldnt be able to have children (it was just a feeling she had) and she fell the first month of trying.

Have you been to a doctor? What did they say? I really wish you the best of luck as I feel one of the worst things is to want children and not be blessed with them

strawberrysplit

i have been married for 16 years and i have tried everything no luck :mad: :mad: ???????????? i have everything but no childrens :mad: :mad: :T but i am use to it ..yes i do get very upset sometimes when we go to special dos etc but i have to live with it...i am so glad that my sisters have all got children i would not want them to be in my position....when i think of them it makes feel better hope you know what i mean....my 1st few years were terrible i really was desparate for kids ...everyone is not the same hope you will have kids oneday...............:o

grey_lady

Going back to an earlier post, I thought that all NHS areas had to offer one round of IVF? there are also schemes set up by private clinics to reduce fees for those willing to share eggs.

Cissi

grey_lady wrote: »

Going back to an earlier post, I thought that all NHS areas had to offer one round of IVF?

There is a number of exceptions to this, for example if either partner has ever had a child, or if either of them has previously undergone voluntary sterilisation (often men who have had vasectomies while in a previous relationship). Friends of mine who had been married for over 10 years were turned down because he had fathered a child in his teens, even though the child's mother had cut all contact over 20 years earlier, and my friend had never even met the "child" (presumably grown up by now). I guess they might have been eligible if they'd never told their GP of the existence of that child (but then it was relevant information when they started having tests)

GlasweJen, no I don't think it goes away for a long time, at least not while you're still as young as you seem to be. It gets worse when your friends start having babies. I do have friends who have come to terms with the fact that it won't happen and have moved on, but they usually didn't reach this point until they were quite a lot older.

But hopefully time is on your side and things will turn out better than you now think. Who knows, maybe your partner will eventually come round to the idea of adoption. Most men do need longer to get used to this, or even to the idea of fertility treatments. Mine wouldn't contemplate IVF at first, but gradually progressed to accept the idea as he saw how much I was suffering from it all. I'm sure that he would have needed a lot more time than I if we had ended up pursuing adoption instead.

Good luck with it all!

koalabear_3

My mum tried 15 years to get pregnant, back then there wasn't any help with fertility problems at all so she never knew why it never happened for her as she watched all her sisters and brothers have families. She had 1 miscarriage after 10 years and then 5 years later she had me! I was 6 weeks early and very small but healthy.

Strange it took so long but you never know..

lavidaloca

koalabear wrote: »

My mum tried 15 years to get pregnant, back then there wasn't any help with fertility problems at all so she never knew why it never happened for her as she watched all her sisters and brothers have families. She had 1 miscarriage after 10 years and then 5 years later she had me! I was 6 weeks early and very small but healthy.

Strange it took so long but you never know..

Same for my Mum it took 14 years and then after me 18 months later had my brother. She blamed it on my Dad working in Iceland (country not store ) and said he must have got frozen up LOL.

divadee

lavidaloca wrote: »

She blamed it on my Dad working in Iceland (country not store ) and said he must have got frozen up LOL.

:rotfl: :rotfl: you have brightened up my morning with that comment it has made me laugh so much I think it was the bit in brackets that cracked me up the most


OP just keep not trying, my friend was told she couldnt have children to polycystic ovaries (i think thats what its called) she was going to see the specialist to see about IVF and when he examined her he found her pregnant!!! I think the more you relax and dont get stressed the more likely it is to happen.