Hubby is Spendaholic - Help Please!!!!

Merlot

excellent advice tallyhoh. I hope things are working out for you just now.

Every woman should have a secret stash of money.. you never know when you may need it...

Blackruby

You know, sometimes I feel like this too. Being a student, I share a house with 3 other people. Now I am also in charge of the bills as I am the most sensible with money out of us (shows how bad they are) so when a bill comes in, I divide it up and tell them what they owe me. Then come MY payday, I send off a cheque, expecting the others to pay me back. Now two of them do this fine, but one of them owes me around 110 quid now, and it's unfair for me to be going short when I have a job.

He spends a ridiculous amount of money sometimes on pure rubbish, I hate having to grab him once a week and say 'Hey, about that money' coz he always has some excuse.

If you figure out a good way to get your OH to stop spending, let me know so I can use it on my housemate. Half tempted not to pay the next electricity bill straight off, let them cut it off so he stops playing on the comp (I can't talk) but it would be unfair to the other two who do pay me.

Ta-ra

Dee

Sue-UU

tallyhoh wrote: »

You should try reading some of my posts about my OH. You need to nip this in the bud & NOW.
Start as you mean to go on, dont worry about sounding like a battle axe, you need to keep a roof over your head.

Keep on & on & on. Dont bail him out & if he spends and leaves the housekeeping short--well give him tinned spaghetti (Ughhh) or value beans everynight till he's sick.

Please dont try & be noble like I did & manage very well on little money, DONT manage, keep on that you have no money & he needs to take care of it, give him value loo roll & tell him thats all you can afford.

And whatever you do (people wont like me saying this) keep a secret stash of money hidden away that he knows nothing about. You may need it.

Hi RMC,

I can't do more than agree with everything tallyhoh has said, because you're really heading for so much trouble if you let him carry on as he's doing. It sounds a little funny in places (even though it's anything but), but hopefully one of these days he'll have a lightbulb moment and be horrified at what he's done (and is doing) to you both!

I urge you to PLEASE take on the good advice tallyhoh's given about keeping a secret stash of money hidden away that he's completely unaware of, you need to do that anyway as whatever he promises you one day seems to go the next anyway.

A really good way of making him think long and hard about his spending is for you to feign being totally worried sick (though that'll come natural soon if it hasn't already). Have a cry if ever tears are close and let all the money problems pour out to him, that might just hit him as he sounds a very sensitive and loveable chap. Play on any weak points that could possibly work, and that isn't being deceptive it's what it needs when things get this bad .....or WORSE!!!

All the very best, you really do need it.

Sue PS. Could there be an underlying reason for it all? childhood maybe?

jak

Is there any way for him to get paid diffrently? Poss in cheques or something? Or could they make the cheques out to you? Worth a try?

jak

God men are hopeless aren't they...
Sorry...mini moan
x

GeorgeUK

If he's getting his money in cash - is he putting any aside for the taxman?

Also - check to see if the lottery is all the gambling he does.

You need to find out where that 5k went. Hopefully he has bought suff with it instead of totally wasting it all.

PigginSkint

Hi RMC (Is it O.K. to call you that?)

You have my utmost sympathy because I am having very similar problems with my OH at the moment (see my diary).

I am also considering taking his credit card off him, but that would be a drastic step as he wouldn't be able to go for auditions if I did that.

All I can suggest is what I am doing, do not let it lie! Keep on at him (in the nicest possible way... if that does't work the get tough!), keep giving him the information and remind him what he needs to do and what he does not need to do with the hope that the message will start to seep in!

I hope it works for you and me!

Good luck!

jak

My hubby spent half our rent money last week. You have to go on at them i'm afraid. It's the only way. AND it's not YOU being a nag, it's HIM making you!

ms_london

tallyhoh wrote: »

And whatever you do (people wont like me saying this) keep a secret stash of money hidden away that he knows nothing about. You may need it.

Oh my god, I so agree. I got shot down in flames when I said this is what I plan to do! I dont agree with keeping secrets, but I dont actually care. I've read too many horror stories and have seen friends go through break ups but cant actually afford to move out, etc etc. Even if its a few grand you have stashed, so what??

REDMADCURLS - welcome to MSE. Hows it going with your hubby? Not sure what to suggest really, must be a pain if he gets paid in cash, also its so much easier to fritter away, unless of course you know that you only have what you have in your purse/wallet to last you until payday.

I laughed at the comment of setting up an ebay account to sell everything he buys, hehe! Its quite worrying though if he cant remember what he spends in these places - and def dont let him nip to Tescos again, although why should you have to shoulder the burden and being responsible for everything?

xx

SarahNeedle1872

tallyhoh wrote: »

You should try reading some of my posts about my OH. You need to nip this in the bud & NOW.
Start as you mean to go on, dont worry about sounding like a battle axe, you need to keep a roof over your head.

Keep on & on & on. Dont bail him out & if he spends and leaves the housekeeping short--well give him tinned spaghetti (Ughhh) or value beans everynight till he's sick.

Please dont try & be noble like I did & manage very well on little money, DONT manage, keep on that you have no money & he needs to take care of it, give him value loo roll & tell him thats all you can afford.

And whatever you do (people wont like me saying this) keep a secret stash of money hidden away that he knows nothing about. You may need it.

Completely agree with TallyHo, especially the last bit!

Sarah x